Two Steps Back - Original Version!
by Alpha Amber
Summary: Post-BD. Twilight. Time Travel. Canon Pairings. BPOV. Eighty plus years after moving to Forks to meet her destiny, Bella is back in time and reliving things all over again. She's got a new attitude and her daughter with her, though, so maybe changing things won't be too difficult this second time around. Reposted by popular demand. Rewrite coming any day now.
1. Prologue

**Authors Note;** The story has not changed, I am simply re-posting what I took down a few years ago, because more than a handful have asked me where they could find it. I still plan on re-writing the sucker some day but until that day arrives I will leave this one up. Hope you enjoy it, whether it's the second time around or your first time through the gate.

 **Full Summary;** Bella and Renesmee end up back in time to the first page in the _Twilight_ book, forced to live through everything for the second time in a row, at least for Bella. But maybe, together with the help of her daughter, she can make this time a whole lot better, for everyone involved. Except, of course, the bad guys. But fate can be a funny thing and perhaps doesn't like it when you mess around in its playground. Bella needs to be careful where she treads, if she's to succeed in her dangerous plans.

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 **Prologue**

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 **Forks, Washington  
January 17th, 2082**

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"Mom?" I turned towards the forest line, looking into the familiar brown eyes of my daughter. "Are you coming?"

I smiled at her. "Of course, Nessie. I'm right behind you."

True to my words, I ran after her, through the thick, dense forest of Washington. It had been a long time coming, but we were finally back. Back where it all started.

"Oh, Mom," I heard my daughter gasp. "is this it?" She turned to me, a teary smile on her face.

"Yes, honey, this is the place your Dad took me to, on our first official date. This is the meadow."

She smiled through her happy tears and turned back around, dancing slowly into the middle. I swear, at that moment, she looked so much like her Aunt Alice. She spread her arms out at her sides, closed her eyes and leaned her head back. She looked so serene and I couldn't help but once more, thank whatever entity decided I should have this miracle.

Even after all these decades, it still hadn't quite hit yet.

I was someone's mother.

"God, this place is exquisite. I can almost see you and Daddy here, falling in love. Oh, I wish I could've been there back then, to see you in the beginning." She truly didn't know what she was asking for.

Of course, myself, Edward and even Jake, had filled her in on our story, but we had glossed over the details. There were some things you just didn't tell your child, regardless of how old she was. This was one of them.

"I know you do, sweetie. Now, you'll have plenty of time to spend here, over the next 5 years, so why don't we go hunt. Before your uncles come looking for us." I finished with a wry snicker.

Her eyes widened in mock fear and she ran quickly out of the meadow and into the widening forest, trying to hide her giggles. I rolled my eyes, smiling at her ridiculous behavior and followed behind her once more. She was fast... for a human.

I was faster.

God, now I'm starting to sound like my husband. I think I've been married for too long. It can't be healthy, I'm telling you.

"Mom! No cheating. Hasn't Grandma Esme taught you anything?" I heard the laugh in her voice, outweighing her words, as I launched right past her and took over the lead.

"It's not cheating, my little half-human monster." I jokingly shot back at her, running backwards so I could look at her.

Now it was her time to roll the eyes a bit.

Just because I had given in to the ludicrous name, Nessie, didn't mean I had to like it. So I did what any mother would do. I came up with my very own, a mock of the original one. And, to myself and Edward, a sort of inside joke. It may not be the most original, but I liked it. My daughter did not. Which was why I liked to tease her with it.

Yeah, so maybe Emmett rubbed off on me a bit as well.

Monster caught up to me and put her hand in mine, as we ran side by side in the forest we called home. Even if we hadn't been here for approximately 75 years.

There were going to be a lot of changes.

Unlike the last time around, Dad wouldn't be here. He died 20 years ago, at the old age of 88. Monster saw him often, right up until the very end. He never questioned why none of us aged, staying true to his need-to-know request. There would also be none of the friends, I had kept as safe as possible in my murky memory vault. Of course, that also meant none of the bad.

No James. No close call in Port Angeles. No persistent Mike, who just wouldn't take no for an answer. No Jessica to be jealous. No mysterious secrets to unravel about the 5 strange kids.

But I think I might trade all those in, if it meant getting back some of the good. The first time I talked to my husband, in biology. The first time his smile was meant for me especially. The meadow. The first time I was introduced to Alice, Emmett and the rest of my family. Yes, even Rose. Even something as simple as cooking for Charlie. Even something as abhorring as going to Prom. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, knowing it would turn out the way it did.

Although I was quite content with the way my existence was now.

"What are you thinking about, Mom?" My daughter shook me out of my thoughts and I realized we were far away from the meadow by now.

Wow. Even as a vampire, I zone out.

"The past." I said and she knew enough to let it be.

What I said earlier, was every bit the truth. I took after my husband and my brother, but those weren't the only ones. Like Esme, I found myself often wishing I could cry, just to get an outlet of my emotions. And to lessen Jasper's pain. While I did not enjoy shopping and never would, some of Alice's exuberance had rubbed off on me. Carlisle's calm and patience, although my family tried to convince me that it had always been there. But the one I saw as most important of all, was what I had gotten from Rose.

I was not the same girl that moved to Forks almost 80 years ago and I don't mean because of what I am. I mean, because of who I am. Who I have become. Thanks to my sister.

More outgoing. Immensely daring. Able to speak up about anything I feel like. At times even thriving in the public light. Showing my true emotions and not just humoring someone to be nice. Rose, most of anything, taught me to never do things just to please someone else. I should always follow my own heart and mind.

I loved my sister to death.

I felt my daughter squeezing the hand that was grasped in hers and I looked beside me to see what she wanted. I did not need to watch where I was going. She was gazing at me with a secretive smile and then she launched into the fastest speed she had in her. I could feel her excitement, over the metaphorical mother-daughter bond we had. Although I could not guess at the reason.

Until we came closer.

Most of the witnesses from all those years ago, including the Denali family, refused to enter this particular field, ever again. The memories brought forth too many shattering emotions. Fear, pain, anxiety, shock and so many more. Jasper had tried to explain each and every one of them to us, a few years after the confrontation, but even he hadn't caught them all. The point I am trying to make, is that it is quite possible, that Monster is the only one who is still eager to come here.

I understand her reasons though.

Despite the life lost here that day, Renesmee was filled with pride at the memories. Pride that so many of our kind had stepped forward, to protect not only her, but our family as well. Pride that the wolves had put aside their differences and mistrust, to work together against a common foe. Pride that even a few of the Volturi witnesses had gone against their Masters. Pride was in every pore of her body, whenever she stood in the large field.

Me? I still couldn't look at it without picturing a game of baseball.

Go figure.

Monster ran around the grand field many times, getting her fill of the land and trying to figure out what the next big event would be. Of course she had been told about the first meeting with the nomads, that ended in the deaths of all three. The battle against the newborn army, alongside the wolves. And she was there for the confrontation so I wont even mention that.

She was sure the next big thing would come, now that we were back.

I hope to God that she's wrong.

"Come on, Mom," I saw that my girl had plopped down right in the middle, sitting cross-legged on the grass. "join me for a moment." She petted the ground next to her, as if speaking to a little child.

I rolled my eyes to cover the clenching of my heart, at the memory of the relationship between me and my own mom.

I dropped down behind my girl, placing my legs around hers and wrapping my arms around her midsection. I needed the comfort right now and I knew she felt it. Besides, unlike myself before the change, Ren was very comfortable with emotional displays of affection and I knew it didn't bother her a bit.

God, I couldn't love her more than I already did.

"Are you okay, Mom?" She whispered, after we had been sitting there for a few hours. We had yet to hunt, but were instead caught up in the moment.

"Yes honey, I'm fine. It's just... this place." She knew I wasn't simply talking about the field we were currently in. "All those memories... they may have seemed dull in the last many years, but being here now... they're stronger somehow." I sighed out the last part, trying to convey my meaning.

"I understand." She said, still whispering slightly.

She had been told of our past, but it was difficult for her, since most of her time spent here were happy memories. Times with Jake in the beginning and meeting all of those nomads who were so entranced by her. Connecting with her parents and family, before anyone really knew her. Developing her personality and gift, in the warmth of a loving home.

She had missed it as completely as me, just for different reasons.

I decided that we needed a lighter topic, so I changed it to one I wouldn't have expected to call lighter when I was still human. My... son-in-law.

"So, what's Jake up to right now?" I was curious. He was still my best friend in many ways.

A serene smile came on her lips, as it always did when her wolf was mentioned. "He's visiting his old house and meeting up with the Pack. With Sam out of the picture, he's anxious to meet the new Leader. Size him up, y'know?"

I laughed in response, I did know. It was typical Jake.

I myself was curious to hear about the new Alpha, as I had aptly named it many years ago. Sam wasn't gone yet, but he had stopped phasing a long time ago, choosing to start a family with Emily. Last I heard he had four descendants and eleven grandchildren. Jonah was the new head now and I was sure he would meet Jake's scrutiny.

How could he not with a grandfather like Samuel Uley?

"What about the others, honey?" I lay my chin on her shoulder, just breathing in the calming scent of her skin.

"Well, Seth and Embry are busy setting up the new house in La Push. I think Leah went to Seattle to order the furniture. Loren is visiting Sam and Emily, Cale is at First Beach with Hallie, and Jalin is registering everyone at the school." As a wolf's imprint, Monster knew the pack business almost as well as her husband. They were her second family, after all.

"It's sounds like everyone's very busy." I smiled. Even after all these decades, the Pack was still just a bunch of boys. And Leah.

"What about our family, Momma, what are they up to right now?" She turned her head to me and her eyes showed genuine curiosity.

I had to think for a few seconds. "Now, I'm no Alice, but I know what they said they were going to do." She laughed, knowing that at least her Uncle Em was doing something completely different than he said he would. "Alice and Rose are in Seattle, shopping of course." I said, with a wry grin. At least I had an excuse to bow out this time. "Carlisle is at the hospital, getting acquainted with the new facilities and fellow colleagues. Esme is working on the house. Your uncles are supposed to be getting food for you and writing us up for school next week, but who knows really." I laughed and shook my head.

"What about Daddy?"

"Oh, well I think Edward is getting our cabin ready. Your room needs to be updated, since I don't think you'll want to sleep in a crib anymore." She rolled her eyes at my words. "Some newer technology needs to be installed as well and we're updating the bedroom too. So he's busy, just like the others."

Ren snorted. "Yeah and how exactly did we get out of doing any chores?"

I laughed out loud. "We pretended that we needed to hunt and have some bonding time." I remarked sarcastically.

We really did need to eat, we had just gotten a bit off course.

When the laughter died out, we both laid down on the grass beside each other and clasped our hands together. We looked up at the gray sky and the clouds floating above. It had been a long time since I had gotten used to this kind of weather and I no longer wished for the sun. In fact, I disliked it, since it meant having to hide out. I never felt more like a vampire than when the days were sunny.

Time passed and I knew it wouldn't be long until darkness fell. I turned to my daughter and gently shook her shoulder.

She had fallen asleep.

"Honey? We need to go hunt now, so we can get home before the others start to worry." I heard her mumble an agreement and I waited for her to wake fully up.

Sleeping was another thing I missed.

Ren stretched her body until I heard a distinct crack and then jumped up to stand beside me. Her smile was sleepy, but I knew she would wake up as soon as we began running. Even after so much time, she still had the same excitement for the hunt that she did when she was just a few days old. She grabbed my hand in hers again and ran out of the field, into the forest.

It didn't take us long to find our target.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me, but thankfully it was too low for animal ears. Emmett would pout and whine, when he learned that we had come across a bear on our hunt. And not just any bear, but a grizzly. Ren turned to me and knowing where my mind had gone, smirked in response. She put her hand out in an offering gesture, knowing her uncle would be that more upset, if it were me who took the animal down and not his 'can-do-no-wrong' niece.

I laughed a bit louder this time and set off in a run, crouching when I reached the unsuspecting carnivore. I could vaguely hear Monster in the distance, having found her own prey. I quickly made work off my meal, knowing that if Em had been the one to get his claws on this animal, it's death would not have been swift.

He was the embodiment of a child, playing with his food.

I buried the carcass and ran off into the direction of my daughter, finding her just as she was getting rid of her own evidence. It seemed she had stumbled over her favorite Washington meal, a coyote. She said that she couldn't explain why she liked it better than bear or lion, but that there was just something about the taste. Her uncles teased her relentlessly, but she took it in stride.

She saw me standing there watching her and ran up to join me. "So, what now, Momma?"

I brushed some hair out of her face and cupped her chin. "Why don't we go back to the field for a little while. It wont be dark for another couple of hours."

She grinned her acceptance and quickly ran for our destination. This time I did not rush ahead of her, simply enjoying running behind her, enveloped in the calming wave she sent out. While Jasper was very adapt at his gift, no one calmed me down like my husband and daughter. It was actually quite extraordinary.

We were back in the grand field in no time, but something didn't feel quite right. There was a sense of foreboding in the air and I quickly ran to my daughter and grabbed her arm.

"We have to go." She looked at me, confused by my sudden change of heart. "Now, Renesmee."

It was very rare for me to use her full name and so she knew I meant business. She nodded, not saying a thing and we quickly made our way to the tree line. We were mere feet away from it, when we heard something moving in the bushes to our right. I could almost feel my metaphorical heart, pounding in my chest and all I could think of was protecting my little girl.

"Faster, Ren!" I shouted, even though she was standing right next to me.

"I don't think so, young one." Called a masculine voice, stepping out from behind the trees.

He was wearing a pair of gray sweatpants, but had no shirt, shoes or socks on. A nomad would've been my first thought, except that his skin was too dark and his eyes blue. And yet I knew instinctively that he was not human. So what was he?

"Who are you?" I heard Monster speak up, as I was too shocked to do anything other than stare.

"Ah, you are the sweet Renesmee, yes? I've heard much about you." He never answered her question, I quickly noticed.

"What do you want?" I finally spoke up.

He looked thoughtful for a moment, a strange smile on his face that did not sit well with me. All I could think of, was that we were in danger and I hoped that Edward was on his way. Surely he was wondering where we were by now.

"What I want... is a complicated matter, Mrs. Cullen." His smile widened, noticing my unease at his knowledge of who I was.

"If you know who we are, why not tell us your name?" Ren's voice was slightly irritated, mixed with fear.

He ignored her question again and continued to gaze at me. His eyes seemed searching and I wondered if he found what he was looking for. "I've been looking for you, for quite some time now. You are not an easy lady to find." He smiled, trying to be pleasant.

It just creeped me out more.

"Why? Why have you been looking for me?" I asked, desperation in my voice.

He laughed before responding. "You are the legendary Isabella Cullen, who dared stand up to the Volturi. Oh, I just had to meet you, young one."

Why does he keep calling me that?

I saw a strange glint in his eyes suddenly, as his right hand reached up to fondle the necklace around his throat. It was a leather string with a simple symbol attached. A ring with what looked like an ancient letter inside, from a language I did not know. His thumb rubbed over the silver jewelry and I saw a dark green glow begin to spread from the ring and out towards me.

I panicked and grabbed my daughter's hand, pulling at her and quickly backing away. Something big was about to happen and I momentarily wondered if Ren didn't have a bit of her Aunt's sight. She had said that she thought something would happen and it would seem that she was right.

Unfortunately.

"There is no need to run, Mrs. Cullen. My intent is not harmful."

I didn't trust him and narrowed my eyes, showing him that I knew the truth. Why he wanted to hurt me, I didn't know. Was he working for Aro, who had tried so hard to get me on his guard? Was he a renegade, looking to move up in our world? Or was his vendetta more personal? I didn't know and I was beginning to think that I didn't even care.

I just wanted him to stop.

The mysterious emerald glow was growing with each second and in just a matter of seconds, I knew it would hit me and Monster. There was a chance that my shield would repel it, but what about Ren?

I quickly took hold of the inner rubber band, enveloping my daughter underneath it. A glow different from the other, wrapped itself around her in a protective bubble and I mentally breathed a sigh of relief. But what if my shield didn't repel whatever this man had thrown at us? What if he was too powerful? After all, I had only fought off vampires with it before and this stranger was no vampire.

My panic returned, full force.

We were still backing away, but were no match for the glow. A spine chilling smile was placed on the man's lips, as we were finally surrounded by the emerald brightness. My fears came true, as it passed right through my invisible shield, as if it wasn't even there. I closed my eyes against the truth of what was coming, wrapped my daughter up tightly in my arms and prayed to whatever God that might be looking out for my kind.

Blackness began to take over my mind and I vaguely heard the shocked exclamation of the stranger. "What?" He seemed surprised and I tried to open my eyes to see what had made this emotion occur in him, but something was holding down my lids.

I felt an intense pressure and realized that the body I had held in my arms, was gone. I wanted to scream out her name, but I couldn't speak. I wanted to find her, but I couldn't move. I wanted to do something, but I was almost completely lost in the darkness. It came closer and closer, bringing with it a sense of defeat. I couldn't fight it, I knew that much, but I couldn't give in either.

Before I could make a choice, the decision was made for me, as I felt my body falling to the ground and my mind became an utter void.

And then I was no more.


	2. Second Sight

**Authors Note;** Unless something gets in the way, I'll be posting every day until I'm done with the seventeen chapters. Now on to the answers portion of this round.

 **pandorazul;** I already answered this above, but yes, I will be posting everything xD

 **Random Reviewer (not logged in);** Of course I don't mind and I hope you enjoy :)

 **Full Summary;** Bella and Renesmee end up back in time to the first page in the _Twilight_ book, forced to live through everything for the second time in a row, at least for Bella. But maybe, together with the help of her daughter, she can make this time a whole lot better, for everyone involved. Except, of course, the bad guys. But fate can be a funny thing and perhaps doesn't like it when you mess around in its playground. Bella needs to be careful where she treads, if she's to succeed in her dangerous plans.

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 **Second Sight**

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 **Phoenix, Arizona  
January 17th, 2005**

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I heard the masses moving all around me, as I came to. The fear that had momentarily paralyzed my being, was still there, though now it was just a vague dull thud, in comparison to my confusion. The last thing I remember is standing in the large field, trying to fight off the emerald glow of the strange man and protecting my daughter. Now... I seemed to be in an airport.

"Bella," a voice came from my side. "You don't have to do this."

I looked over and then proceeded to feel my heart stop in my chest. Wait... my heart was beating? I looked into the wet eyes of my mother, who had died a long time ago and suddenly something clicked in my mind.

I lay my no longer dead, pale hand over my chest, feeling the thump of my heart underneath the skin and bones. I looked out over the busy gate, people bustling along, going about their day, unaware of what I was now going through. I was human... again and from what I could vaguely remember, on my way to Forks, to live with Dad.

The only problem? This had already happened before, 77 years ago.

I tried to push down my panic, to concentrate on the issue at hand. Mom was frantically waving her hands in front of my face, the tears finally falling down her cheeks. I could see the worry in her eyes and realized that I would have to play along, in order to ease her mind. Unlike Charlie, Mom was not adapt to handle the supernatural world. I searched my long ago memories and tried to copy my exact words from this day. There would be plenty of time to think about my current predicament, when I was in my seat on the plane.

"I want to go." I said, but I don't think I sounded as convincing as I had the first time around.

"Tell Charlie I said hi." She sniffled, choosing to accept my words at face value.

"I will."

"I'll see you soon," she insisted. "You can come home whenever you want. I'll come right back as soon as you need me."

Of course this time, I knew with absolute certainty that that would not happen. And I could still see the sacrifice in her eyes.

I wracked my brain for the correct response. "Don't worry about me," I urged. "It'll be great. I love you, Mom."

We hugged for a few seconds and I reveled in the feel of her arms around me. Renee had passed away many years before Charlie. She had died at the age of 56, from lymphoma. I had not been able to attend the funeral and so I hadn't gotten my final goodbye. It hurt me, that she had died, never knowing that she had a granddaughter, but she was too fragile to handle the shock of another world amongst the human one. Still, it wasn't fair and I was so happy to see her again. Even if this was just another goodbye.

I moved away from her and gave the lady my ticket. I looked back at Mom, who stood silently watching me, tears in her eyes. I knew that this was hard on her, but I also knew that she could handle it. She was stronger than most people gave her credit for.

I prepared myself for what was sure to be an emotional plane ride. A four hour long trip down memory lane, to see just how much I could remember. I could figure out later, the why's and how's of my presence in the past. I sat down in my seat, buckled myself in and looked out the window to the city of Phoenix below. And then a new thought entered my mind, one that paralyzed me in fear and I hated myself for not thinking of this sooner.

Where was my daughter?

Was she still back in the future I came from? Did that future even exist anymore? And if both answers were yes, was she still in danger from the strange man or had Edward saved her? Was he in danger? I hated not knowing the fate of my family and my heart clenched in response. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, reminiscing of my days after Edward left me, worrying about what was happening.

I had waited so long to get to where I was back in my time. It took forever to convince my husband to change me, not to mention to convince him that our relationship was in fact very healthy. I had worked so hard on my kinship with Rosalie and now she would be back to hating me. I had to go through everything all over again and at the same time, try not to alter anything. What if Monster ended up never being born? I could never live with myself if that happened.

I had to be very careful.

The plane touched down in Port Angeles, after a mundane switch in Seattle. It was just as forgettable a trip as it had been the first time and time actually flew right by. I heard the unmistakeable sound of the pounding rain on the roof of the airport and I smiled. I was home. Then, I saw him.

I stood in the exit doors, leading to the area for parked cars and immediately spotted the familiar car, with the red and blue lights on top. In front of it stood Charlie. Dad. I felt the long-forgotten sting of tears in my eyes and reveled in the realization that I would be able to let them fall. I couldn't believe he was actually here, I thought, as he gave me an awkward, one-armed hug. At least it was awkward to him, for me it was pure heaven.

Maybe something good would come out of this trip to the past anyway?

"It's good to see you, Bells," he said, smiling at me and reminding me soberly, that to him this reunion was different. My smile faltered slightly, until I recognized this as my second chance. This time I would be the daughter he so deserved, I would make sure of it.

"You haven't changed much." I barely kept my snort back. "How's Renee?"

"Mom's fine." I tried to hide my cracked voice, filled with emotions. "It's good to see you too, Dad." There would no more calling him Charlie, from now on.

Dad grabbed my small bag and as I remembered that he had bought me my truck, I decided to use my savings on some new clothes. I was a different woman, after all, and a life time with Alice made it impossible for me to accept my old, worn jeans and t-shirts. Even if I still hated shopping, it didn't mean my taste was the same.

I watched him stuff my bag into the trunk of the cruiser as I just looked at him. Obviously he had changed quite a bit, since the last time I saw him, his hair was completely white, he was wheezing and confined to his bed.

He died a happy man though, so those memories were not tainted with too much pain.

We both got situated in the seats and he pulled out of the lot, moving down the road towards home. Then, came the conversation I had been expecting. I decided to stick to the original words at first, not wanting to scare him. Slowly, I would introduce him to the new Bella.

"I found a good car for you, really cheap," he announced, in a low but excited voice.

"What kind of car?" I replied, feeling my own excitement at seeing my old truck again. I was no longer naive and knew that Edward had done something to it. But not this time around, he could forget about it. I was keeping it until it died of natural causes.

"Well, it's a truck actually, a Chevy."

"Where did you find it?"

"Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?" Of course I did, he was family. But in this time I hadn't seen him since I was a little girl and I suspected that Dad anticipated my negative answer.

"No."

"He used to go fishing with us during the summer," Dad needlessly prompted. "He's in a wheelchair now," Dad continued, when I didn't respond, "so he cant drive anymore and he offered to sell me his truck cheap."

I felt slightly irritated to repeat this particular conversation, but I had to stick to my plan, until I could figure out a better one. "What year is it?" His expression changed and I hid my smile at how predictable he could be.

"Well, Billy's done a lot of work on the engine," no, Jake did that, "it's only a few years old, really."

Time to play the stubborn daughter card. "When did he buy it?"

"He bought it in 1984, I think."

"Did he buy it new?"

"Well, no. I think it was new in the early sixties, or late fifties at the earliest," he admitted sheepishly.

I felt bad for making him go through this, so I decided to ease his mind a bit and move off the pre-set road. "It sounds fine Dad, I'm sure I'll love it," I wasn't lying there. "you said something about it being cheap? How cheap is cheap?" I said, getting back on track.

"Well, honey, I kind of already bought it for you. As a homecoming gift." Dad peeked sideways at me with a hopeful expression. I gave him a small smile.

"You didn't need to do that, Dad. I was going to buy myself a car."

"I don't mind. I want you to be happy here," Don't worry, I will be.

"That's really nice, Dad. Thanks. I appreciate it." I did not look ahead as I said this, as I had the last time. Instead I laid a hand on his arm and forced him to look at me as I spoke. I needed to be more open with him, if I wanted to expect the same from him.

"Well, now, you're welcome," he mumbled, embarrassed by my show of affection. I knew it would take time and work, but if he was willing, it would eventually happen. He just needed to get used to it, since it would be like this from now on.

I turned my face to the window, no longer hiding my smile as Dad's attention was back on the road. I looked out into the bright, emerald forest beyond the road and my smile widened. Even though I had only been in Phoenix for a few minutes, I still felt a sense of great relief, being back here in my home, the first place I had found where I truly belonged. The green was no longer strange to me, no longer an alien planet. It was expected and loved.

All there was missing, was my daughter.

My smile fell and I bowed my head in sadness. This was why I couldn't stray off the path, I couldn't risk the chance that she might not exist this time. I couldn't even imagine a world without the shining spirit of my Monster.

I resolved myself to try harder. As much as I wanted to change my relationship with Dad, it would not be at the risk of Ren. I sighed at that realization, but there was nothing I could do about it. I hated that I had to repeat the last two-three years of my human life and I knew that my irritation would only grow, but I just had to.

Finally we pulled up into the driveway of my old house and just like the first time around, I took the time to really look at it. After Dad had married Sue, he had moved into her house on the reservation and I hadn't seen my childhood home away from home in decades. It was as small and homey as I remembered it. The paint was long since faded and even chapped off in some places, but I loved it.

I spotted my 'new' truck, as I got out of the car. I left Dad to get my bag, knowing he would do it anyway and walked over to my beloved car. I took in it's faded red color, the big, rounded fenders and bulbous cab. Just as I had the first time around, though without the surprised emotion, I felt my love for it growing. Even with all of the changes I had made in myself, it was still the perfect car for me.

I heard Dad moving up behind me and hurried to utter the words I vaguely remember. "Wow, Dad, I love it! Thanks!" I turned to him as I spoke.

"I'm glad you like it," Dad gruffly replied, once more embarrassed by my show of obvious affection and gratitude.

We moved into the house and I followed Dad up to my room. He set the bag down on my small bed, as I walked over to stand beside the rocking chair, looking out the window into the small front yard. The wooden floor, the light blue walls, the peaked ceiling, the yellowed lace curtains around the window – it brought my emotions to high and dangerous levels. This was where my life had changed. I spotted the ancient computer sitting on my desk and saw myself investigating the secret surrounding the Cullen family. My family. I was so overwhelmed that I quickly sat down in the rocker and gazed slowly around the room.

Dad had already left, after all, he doesn't like to hover.

I leaned back in the chair and thought about what was to come. I started with the small stuff, like having to once again share a bathroom with Dad. I wasn't even used to having to use the facilities, so I'm sure I would hardly notice that I was dividing the room between myself and Dad. That part wasn't so difficult. Moving on. I was going to have to start eating again, normal human food and cooking of course. That thought brought the others to a halt, as my stomach angrily growled its hunger. I realized that I hadn't eaten since... well, since the last time I was human, which was when I was pregnant with Ren.

I got out of my chair and ran down the stairs, where Dad was making himself a sandwich. My stomach rumbled loudly, making him turn around quickly. He had the necessary reflexes of a cop.

"Oh, hi Bells," he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was just me. "want one?" He asked, waving his snack in the air.

"That's okay, Dad," I smiled, "I'll just make one myself." He seemed a bit relieved and it hurt that I wouldn't be able to change things after all.

He walked past me and into the living room, as I got out the ingredients from the fridge. It had been so long, but thanks to years of cooking for both Mom and Dad, I had not forgotten how to make myself some food. Especially not something as simple as a sandwich.

Two hours later found me standing in front of the bathroom mirror, fresh out of a calming shower. I had really needed it, I realized, as I stood under the stream of water. I brought my hand up and removed the condensation, looking at my own reflection for the first time since coming back. I was not particularly pleased. I had gotten so used to having the appearance of a vampire, though I was far from the beauty of Rosalie. Now, I was back to being the same, plain Bella.

My skin wasn't tanned, but compared to the old me, I was definitely not pale. Although others here would probably disagree. My body was a bit fuller, since I had never truly regained the weight I had lost, from my zombie period. Baby fat, I would call it. My tangled, brown locks fell flat against my head and shoulders, having lost the fullness of a vampire. But my eyes. My eyes were my daughter's and I was glad to see them again. Especially since there was a chance I may never gaze into them in the future.

I moved on from that saddened state of mind and looked back at myself. Well, there were definitely going to be some changes. Tomorrow, after school, I would go to Port Angeles for some new clothes and maybe even some make-up. I wouldn't need much, but having Alice as a sister taught me how to apply one that fit my face, color and style. The last time around I had to admit that I hadn't even tried to fit in, which was why no one seemed to relate well to me. I had started off with a pessimistic attitude and it was no wonder that things then turned bad. Well, not this time.

Surely changing my outward appearance would not alter the arrival of my daughter?

As I walked back into my room to get dressed, I stumbled over the doorjamb and then groaned out loud. Right. I was going to have to get used to that again. The powerful emotion I would label as annoyance build up again, as I longed for my graceful, vampire days. Oh and I'm sure it would be no time, until the constant blushing returned. I truly had no luck at all.

My mood now darkened, I slowly got dressed in my night clothes. Which is to say a pair of worn sweats and a holey undershirt. How fashionable. Oh yeah, the sarcastic gene kicks into overdrive when my temper is flaring. I plopped down onto my bed when I was fully clothed and leaned against the headboard. I closed my eyes and listened for the sounds around me. Dad was watching a game, it appeared, though he was being kindly quiet in his cheers. The wind was blowing outside and I could hear the familiar pitter patter of raindrops on the roof.

And then I heard it.

I had to strain my ears to catch it, but it was unmistakeable. I rushed over to the window, popped the latch and ripped it open. Before I had a chance to stick my head out into the night air and see if I had heard correctly, she jumped from the tree and into my room, drenching my wooden floors in water.

"Renesmee." I simply said and then I threw my arms around her.

I couldn't believe she was actually here.

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
January 18th, 2005**

* * *

Breakfast with Dad was a quiet event. He wished me good luck at school and I thanked him with extra enthusiasm than the first time around. Dad left first, off to the police station that at this point in time, was his wife and family. After he left, I sat at the old square oak table, in one of the three unmatched chairs and waited.

"Is he gone?" Came the voice from the stairway.

I smiled and waved her forward. She sat down opposite me, in Dad's chair and folded her hands in front of her on the table. Her body was still, but her eyes betrayed the excitement she really felt. I still couldn't believe that she was actually here.

Last night, after she had finished explaining how she had just appeared at the edge of La Push, I had been unable to keep myself awake due to my emotional state. I suppose a lot of it was jet lag as well, from both my plane ride and the trip through the past. Then, I had overslept and there had been no more time to talk, when Dad came knocking on my door, saying that it was time for breakfast. School wasn't for another half hour and this time I knew the way, so we would fill the remaining 20 minutes with talk.

There were some plans we needed to make.

"So," Ren began, lightly chewing her lip, "what do you think happened?"

I sighed deeply. "I honestly don't know. That man must have done something to us. Remember the green glow?"

"Yeah. I also remember that he was surprised by the effects. Do you think it's possible that he didn't mean for this to happen. That it was supposed to have been something else?"

I thought about this and quickly determined that she was right, this wasn't what he had envisioned. Dread filled my stomach as I realized the probable cause. My shield. Somehow, my power must have had a negative effect on whatever it was he was trying to accomplish and this was the consequence. I did this.

"It wasn't your fault, Mom," she always could read me like a book, "it was his. He meant to hurt us. Let's just be happy that we're still alive at least," her eyes got a mischievous glint, "some of us more than others." She winked, referring to my now human state. Brat.

I changed the subject, which made her give a sly smirk. "So what do we do now?"

"Well, it looks like you'll be repeating school again, only this time it's the exact same and not just similar classes and students." She laughed at me. She was getting far too much joy out of my misery. And then I had a thought.

"How do you plan to explain your presence in town, Ren?" It was my turn to smirk unabashedly. "You'll have to sign up for school. You can come with me today."

Her face fell quickly. "But, Mom..." She knew nothing more could be said to convince me, but she just had to get that whine in, before she gave up. "Fine," she grumbled, scratching her nails on the table, "but how will we tell it? The story of my sudden appearance."

I thought it over and watched my daughter do the same. Obviously she couldn't have any relation to me, since Dad would find out about it. But I was the only one in town, scratch that, the only one in the world, that even knew she existed. I thought and thought and yet I came up completely blank. I had absolutely no idea how to go about this and I hoped Monster had had better luck than me. Looking at her, it seemed that she did, as she sat with a victorious smile on her face.

Show-off.

"How about this, Mom. I go stay in the cabin, since Grandma said that she never even thought of it, until you married Dad. I'll tell the school that my parents are out of town, maybe they have a job that makes them travel a lot. Because I'm pretending to be 17, I'm old enough to be left to my own devices. That way, they won't ask too many questions that I can't answer." She finished proudly.

She was right, it was the perfect plan, largely due to it's simplicity. I remember Edward once telling me that the most believable lie, is usually the plain one. Without too much overdone back story, or some crazy, far-out-there tale. So I decided that we would go with that.

"Alright, well, you'll come with me to the office then and talk to Ms. Cope," don't ask me why I still remember her name, I have no idea, "get yourself registered. Maybe she'll even let you start today." I smiled at my daughter's groan.

She liked repeating school about as much as the rest of our family.

"Fine, let's go then." She made a show of dragging herself out of the chair and slowly moving towards the entrance hall. I rolled my eyes and followed.

I suppose it was the little luck I did have, that was responsible for Ren's outfit. Because of the way we have to keep up appearances, Monster was wearing the correct outfit of a human girl, living in Washington. Although thanks to Alice it may stand out, being designer and very expensive. Not to mention the fashion of the far-off future.

"By the way, the job you give your fake parents has to be extravagant." I said and when she looked confused, I simply gestured to her outfit. She caught on quickly.

I donned my jacket, which still had the feel of a bio-hazard suit and together we headed out into the rain. It was drizzling still, not enough to soak us through immediately though, as I reached for the house key that was, as always, hidden under the eave by the door, and locked up. The sloshing of my waterproof boots was unnerving and I saw the frown on Ren's face, thanks to her enhanced hearing. It wasn't that I wasn't used to this town and suddenly missing Phoenix, I just wasn't used to making a sound when I walked. Unless I was in school, of course.

Me and Monster hurried into the car, realizing that with her having to register as well, we didn't have as much time as we thought. It meant that I couldn't pause and admire my truck, newly returned from the dead, as I had wanted. Ren rolled her eyes, suspecting correctly where my thoughts had gone. I mock glared at her and turned the key in the ignition. This time, I was not surprised by the somewhat easy start and the working radio. Although I wished for my birthday present back.

Finding the school wasn't difficult, as I had been here many times before. It looked exactly the same, only this time I was glad that the sight came without the chain-link fences, metal detectors and feel of institution. I parked in front of the office building, choosing to move my car after we had checked in, just like last time. Now that I was human again, the annoyance of rain returned with a vengeance. We reached the white, square structure and I opened the door for Monster, as we walked into the brightly lit and warm room. As soon as it shut behind us, Ms. Cope looked up from her paperwork and welcomed us inside.

"Can I help you?" We had decided in the car, that I would go first and that we had to remember to pretend as if we had just met. Which was why Monster stayed by the door waiting, as I approached the front desk.

"I'm Bella Swan," I informed her, placing weight on the short first name. I ignored her expression and waited for her to respond.

"Of course," she said as she dug through a precariously stacked pile of documents on her desk, finding the ones she was looking for. "I have your schedule right here and a map of the school." The last one I wouldn't need, but the list might come in handy. I had been to so many schools since my newborn state was over and I couldn't remember the order of my classes all those years ago.

Still, she went through everything with me, highlighting the best route to each of them on the map and gave me the slip for the teachers to sign. Something I had to go through every 5 years or so. She ended this with a good luck and a hope that I would like it here, turning to my daughter. "And who are you?" She said, kindness and curiosity coating her voice.

Ren stepped forward and suddenly I remembered that we had forgotten to come up with a name for her. Luckily my daughter was quick on her feet. "My name is Vanessa Wolfe," I held back the snicker, remembering that she still carried around the ID that Jenks had made for her. "and I was supposed to start today. Didn't my parents call and register me?"

She asked in her most innocent tone. Which was very convincing, I might add.

Ms. Cope looked confused. "No, sweetie, I'm sorry, I don't remember there being any other new students beside Ms. Swan," Ren made a show of her face falling, "but let me just check to computer to be sure." She smiled, obviously uncomfortable at the thought of hurting the girl's feelings.

"Well, I should probably get to class, I don't wanna be late on my first day." I stated, thinking it would look weird if I waited for someone I didn't even know. Monster gave me a quick glare, betrayed that I was leaving her here. I gave her a smirk and walked out the door, back into the drizzle.

The other students had begun to arrive and I felt a bit emotional at seeing all of those familiar faces in the crowd. I spotted the memory inducing Volvo, as I tried to find a parking space and felt the now familiar clench in my chest. It had been too long since I had seen my husband and it hurt to know that he wouldn't even recognize me. I would have to work hard to disguise my emotions, both on my face and in my body, otherwise Jasper might alert the others to my suspicious feelings.

I was quick to park and shut off the engine, not wanting to gather attention right now. I had too much on my mind and I knew that Ren would soon be joining me. I didn't want others to look too deeply at how fast we became friends and I wondered if we shouldn't say that we had met yesterday. It may seem more believable that way.

Not bothering with memorizing my map this time, I shoved my bag over my shoulder and took a deep breath. I could do this, I had done it before. No one was going to bite me. Yet. I exhaled and stepped out of the truck. Unlike the first time I did not try to hide under my hood, knowing that it wouldn't deter these people from trying to peek a glance. I might as well give them what they want, maybe they'll get bored quicker. Last time, I kept myself shrouded in such mystery that it's no wonder they never truly lost interest. Vultures.

I entered my English class and prepared for another boring lesson of things I had already learned long ago. This was going to be a long day.

When the bell rang, I mentally prepared myself for the coming introductions I would now have to endure. And just as I finished that line of thought, Eric leaned across the aisle to talk to me.

"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" I took it easier this time, since he had somewhat become an acquaintance in the past.

"Bella," I corrected, out of pure habit. Everyone within a three-seat radius turned to look at me.

"Where's your next class?" he asked.

I did not bother to check my list, since I had memorized it in the truck, not having to do that with the map. "Government, with Jefferson, in building six."

"I'm headed toward building four, I could show you the way..."

I spotted Monster in the doorway, gesturing for me to join her in the hall and turned back to my new admirer. He introduced himself, not knowing that I was already aware of his name and waited for my answer, which I'm guessing he expected to be positive. Sorry, buddy, but this is your stop.

"That's really nice, but I've got a friend waiting for me," his face fell and I decided to do something I knew was wrong. Give him false hope. "but I'll see you at lunch maybe?"

He perked right up and left the classroom, while I let out a deep breath, gathering my things and meeting up with Monster at the door. She looked a bit haggard and I wondered what had happened to her. "Did you work everything out with Ms. Cope?" I asked what I thought was an innocent question. I was wrong.

"I'm telling you, that woman is the devil incarnate. I just spent the last hour, trying to prove my identity to her and explaining why my parents weren't there to help me out. I pointed out that you hadn't been escorted by a parent and then she had the nerve to say that your dad was a respected member of society and mine were just newcomers." She fumed.

I mentally laughed at the thought that she was getting this worked up over defending people that didn't even exist. "Well?"

I asked and she gestured for me to elaborate. "How did it go? Did you convince her?"

"Yes, " she grumbled, "after like 40 minutes. She wrote a temporary note for my teachers and printed out a schedule, but said that she was expecting a call from my parents. How will we go about that, Mom?" She whispered the last part, since almost all of the students were trying to listen in on our conversation.

"Don't worry, honey," I whispered back, "we'll think of something. For now, just go to your classes and try to think normal, human things when in the cafeteria." Her eyes widened as if it only just now occurred to her, that she would be attending the same school as her family, with a father who wouldn't even know who she was.

"I forgot about that." She whispered sadly and lowered her eyes, slowing down her speed. We were out in the parking lot, on our way to the next class. I looked around and saw a few students, all focused on their own business, thank god, and then I put my arms around my daughter to comfort her.

"It'll be okay, sweetie, we'll get through this. Your stronger than this, I know you are." My words did the trick, as she wiped her cheeks and stood a bit taller. I was very proud of her. "Now, what's your next class?" I asked and watched her pull out the sheet of paper, handing it to me.

"Here, that way you won't have to ask me every hour." Of course the half vampire had it memorized already.

Her next class said Trigonometry with Mr. Varner and I secretly pitied her. He was my least favorite teacher, I remembered that much and I just thanked my lucky stars that my Monster was a confident young woman, not easily intimidated. She would do just fine here, just like she had in all the other schools we had gone to.

We said goodbye at the crossroad for our buildings, with an agreement to meet up before lunch by the cafeteria doors. Where we would be sitting I didn't know yet, but we would figure it all out when it came.

That dilemma proved unnecessary as Jessica was just as pushy as I remember. The only reason I went along with it this time, was because Angela was there and she was the one human girl in this school that I had no problem saying yes to. She was just too sweet. Jessica quickly introduced herself to Monster when we reached the swinging doors of the food court, not even giving me a chance to say hi myself and directed us to the end at the table I had sat at so many times in the past. She once again made introductions and of course this time, I remembered all the names before she had even said them. Especially Lauren who still pursed her lips into a sneer at the mere mention of my name.

"So, Vanessa," Jessica turned to my daughter, who I could see was trying very hard not to look at the table on the opposite of the room, "did you and your family just move to town?" Her tone of voice was inquisitive, yet kind, though we both knew better.

"Yeah," Ren responded, trying to come of as dull so they would lose interest. "my Dad just got a job in Seattle and Mom didn't want to live in a big city, so he found Forks. They travel a lot though, so it's mostly just me living here." She added the last part, for the sake of our cover.

Then the conversation really began, as everyone wanted to know what her parents did for a living and if they were rich, based on her outfit. I zoned out, seeing the jealous look in Monster's eyes that I didn't have to pay attention and turned discreetly around in my seat, to look across the room. And there they were, just like I remembered them. My family.

Except that they weren't my family yet.

There were sitting in the corner of the other side, as far away from where I sat as possible in the long room. They weren't talking and of course not eating, though only my husband seemed to be keeping up appearances by picking apart his food. He looked... glorious. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, deciding to save the best for last. When I opened them again, I quickly shifted my gaze to that of my brother.

Jasper looked very uncomfortable and I remembered that he hadn't hunted in two weeks, at this point in time. Something about trying to strengthen his control. His long, honey blonde hair was covering most of his face, trying to keep out the image of the tasty humans filling the room. I saw Alice beside him, ignoring the clench her face brought to my chest, whispering in his ear and trying to comfort him. I felt bad, but also knew that in just a few years time, he wouldn't be this bad. By the time I came from, his control would almost rival Edward's even. And so with that calming knowledge, I moved on.

Emmett was trying to get a rise out of his wife, probably teasing her with something mundane and just up his lane and I saw his grin widen, complete with dimples, when she finally gave him the attention he sought. Rose herself, was as beautiful as ever and I felt a sadness spreading when I remembered that she would despise me in the beginning.

Though once again the hope rose, knowing that it wouldn't be like that forever.

Now it was time. I moved my eyes over to the lone man, sitting in the old, easily breakable cafeteria chair. He looked just as I remembered and yet so very different. The light he said I had been responsible for, wasn't there and he seemed like a broken shell of the man I married. For the first time I truly saw the Edward that the others would sometimes speak of.

The person he was, before he fell in love with me.

This time my hope stemmed from the pure knowledge, that we were meant to be together. He wouldn't be miserable for long, if I had anything to say about it.

I quickly turned my head back to the table, when I heard Jessica mentioning my last name, knowing this would get Edward's attention. I didn't want to be caught staring. Again. Apparently they were done talking about Monster and had moved on to all the juicy detail of the student population. Typical, really. I shot my daughter a sympathetic look, prepared to jump in if needed. Ren was very protective of her family.

"...together though. Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they live together." Her voice held pure, unadulterated shock and condemnation. When Monster didn't ask another question, Jessica simply continued on her own. "Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties, so the kids are all adopted. The Hales are brother and sister, twins and they're foster children."

"That's nice, for them to take in so many children." Ren said and I could hear the buried anger in her voice. I gestured discreetly to Jasper with a nod of my head and she got her emotions under control.

"I guess so," Jessica replied reluctantly, acting on her indignation that Edward didn't want her. I could only roll my eyes in response. The jealousy wasn't needed, I knew how my husband felt about the town's gossip queen. "I think that Mrs. Cullen can't have any kids, though," she added, not a single drop of niceties left in her voice.

Uh oh, not good. I could see my daughter fuming and no amount of nudging my head towards her uncle would do any good. "Excuse me?" She said, with a slightly raised voice. "Do you think that's fair, judging someone like that? Did it ever occur to you that it might be painful, not being able to have children of your own? That Mrs. Cullen might want to give others the love that she has inside of her? How can you possible condemn someone who is obviously so nice and goodhearted? Do you even listen to yourself, or are you also blocking out the incessant yammering, like all the other people at this table? You know what, from now on, feel free to gossip all you want about me, as long as you don't talk to me in person." With that, she got out of her seat, stomped to my side and held out her hand. "Are you coming or what?"

I tried to hide my amused smirk, though one side of my mouth lifted and I got my bag, following her a few tables down, to an empty one. Once we were seated, we looked back to see the occupants of our old table, along with a few of the ones close by, staring at us with gaping mouths. That's Monster for you, always capable of shocking a room full of people, with just her words. Even our family, usually non-caring of the business of humans, were staring at us, Alice giving Ren a big smile, obviously pleased with how she defended Esme.

I was strangely proud, but that might have more to do with the fact that she was defending my mother.

We stayed seated for the rest of lunch, as conversation slowly restarted, even at Jessica's table. When the bell rang, we picked up our trays and got up to deposit them in the trash. When we walked towards the doors, we were met with the snickering face of Angela Weber. I don't think I've ever seen this particular look on her face before. Good to know that there is more to her than shyness.

"Wow, that was just... everything I've been thinking for years," she directed her words at Ren, "but haven't dared say. I always thought that she was kinda mean to the Cullen family, most of the kids here are actually. Maybe it'll be good for her, that someone finally spoke up." The snicker was back. I was pleasantly surprised.

"Thanks Angela," I knew Ren remembered her from the stories I had told about my time as a human, "but really, it was nothing. She just pissed me off and I have this thing where I have to speak up when something irritates me." She tried to scoff it off as nothing, but Angela wouldn't have that. She didn't say anything more, but she did follow us to our next class.

Monster had English now, a subject she loved just as much as I did, so we said goodbye to her in the parking lot and moved towards the building for Biology II. The place where I first, officially, met my husband. And where he first realized that my blood sang to him. This should be interesting.

* * *

"I can't believe him. He was so mean."

For the past hour, Monster had gone on and on about what had happened in the office after school. She had been there with me, after all, to pass out our signed notes at the end of the day and just as the first time, Edward had been trying to get out of the one class we had together. Ren saw the way he looked at me and I had already told her how he had acted during class. She was fuming, again.

We had told her the bare facts of how our relationship had started, but I guess she hadn't expected it to have been this bad. So now she wouldn't stop talking about the rude behavior of her father, as we made our way to Seattle in my (t)rusty truck.

"Ren." I said, but she didn't seem to hear me. "Monster." I raised my voice and still nothing. "Renesmee!" I shouted and finally gained her attention. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Oh god, sorry Mom, I guess I forgot that this wouldn't be easy on you either." She said sheepishly and she was right. It hadn't been easy, watching those black, hateful eyes of my usually loving husband, staring me down as if he were wishing for me to die. Which he probably had, from what I can remember him telling me later.

"So," I said, changing the subject at last, "how will we go about this?" Meaning the upcoming shopping trip. Thank God that Rose had taught her niece something about cars, or my truck would never have been able to make the long trip to Seattle.

"Well, that's easy," she said with yet another mischievous grin. Those were becoming frequent, I mentally deducted. Not good. "we can buy whatever we want. Remember the TOD account?"

I had to search my mind, but then it came to me. The TOD account, or more accurately Truth Or Dare account. The one Emmett had convinced our family to create, sometime in the sixties, to help him with his pranks and physical jokes. No one was allowed to check it for the simple reason that they were not supposed to know when he was planning something. Emmett himself didn't even look at the status, simply deducting the money he needed from an ATM. Monster was right, it was perfect and they would never suspect a thing.

I didn't feel guilty since I knew that we weren't technically stealing, it was our money too. In fact, it belonged to anyone with the last name Cullen, Emmett was just the only one who used it. I also knew that there was plenty of money on the account, since there was a certain amount automatically transferred to it, every six months. There was just one problem.

Though I did have every necessary ID needed to withdraw cash from the bank, they all said a date decades into the future. And if I wanted to have Jenks change it, I would need the money from the account. It was a catch 22.

Monster seemed to once again know what I was thinking. "I'm sure that just mentioning our last name will make Jenks accept a small fee and then full payment once we have our papers."

She was right, Jenks was terrified of Jasper and he would definitely do what he could do please him. In my time I had convinced my brother to let me take over, when it came to the old forger and I had, up until he passed away and we had found a new one. But this one was still dealing with Jasper and that would only serve to help us with our plan.

When we arrived in Seattle, we made a detour to his office and successfully convinced him to heed us. In fact, he was kind enough to make us the top priority and within just a few hours, where we went for coffee in the park while waiting, he had everything ready and done. He refused the down payment and told us to come by some time during the week with the money. There was apparently no rush and I felt relieved that he had no way of contacting Jasper directly. I didn't want him to think me unworthy of his kindness and trust.

With the correct ID in hand, we made our way to the bank and before we knew it we were in the mall, shopping for clothes and other things that Ren named necessities.

We started off in the small restaurant located near the exit, since it was dinner time. Considering that it was a three hour drive from Forks, we had come here late and now it was getting dark. We ended up agreeing to just buy clothes for now and then come back in the weekend, when we would have more time.

"How about this one, Mo-Bella?" Ren called out, remembering to catch herself at the last minute. In the last couple of days she had been so used to calling me Mom that she forgot herself in public.

"I don't know, doesn't it seem kinda... peppy?" I made a face at the fluffy, pinkish skirt she held up.

Monster sighed. "Not for you, Bella, for me." She held it up to her legs and then walked closer so she could speak without being overheard. "I only have the clothes I'm wearing Mom, remember?"

Damn, I forgot about that.

"Okay then, if you like it, get it." I said, happy that I wouldn't be the one wearing it. Ren was a lot like Alice when it came to fashion. Though she didn't have to wear designer, she did care about how it appeared. Me, I used to just want comfortable, now I want comfortable yet stylish. The change really wasn't that drastic, if you ask me.

"Thanks Mom." She ran off to another part of store, leaving me to my silent and slow perusal of the racks.

By the time nine o´clock rolled around, we had several bags fitted into the small cab of my truck and were on our way back home. I knew Dad would be worried about me, since we came here directly from school and he didn't know where I was, but there was nothing that could be done about it. A part of me wanted to buy a newer car, but two things stopped me. The fact that I loved my truck and the fact that Dad would ask questions I couldn't answer, about how I could afford it.

Besides, it lessened my guilt a bit, to know that I would be able to change my ways with him after all, now that my daughter was here, alive and well.

Midnight came with me in the driveway, saying goodbye to Monster. She would go back to the cabin and clean it up, since she slept several hours last night and wouldn't need it again for a few days. I tiptoed into the house, up the stairs and into my room. I knew Dad would confront me in the morning, but for now I was tired and aching for sleep. I wondered if I would dream about my husband, as I had the first time around, though there was no need for my worries.

I feel into a deep, dreamless sleep, the moment my head hit the pillow.


	3. Blocked Book

**Full Summary;** Bella and Renesmee end up back in time to the first page in the _Twilight_ book, forced to live through everything for the second time in a row, at least for Bella. But maybe, together with the help of her daughter, she can make this time a whole lot better, for everyone involved. Except, of course, the bad guys. But fate can be a funny thing and perhaps doesn't like it when you mess around in its playground. Bella needs to be careful where she treads, if she's to succeed in her dangerous plans.

* * *

 **Blocked Book**

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
January 19th, 2005**

* * *

When Wednesday morning rolled around, I unwillingly found myself bombarded by the energizer bunny in the form of my daughter. I hadn't actually wanted to get up, since there were so many things I had to face today. Dad's wrath and Edward's absence, to name a few. Ren grabbed me by the shoulders and proceeded to shake me until I felt like heaving, but at least the presence of her Grandpa kept her from screaming in my ear. I think she was enjoying the fact that it was her turn to wake me up, for the first time ever.

"I'm up, I'm up," I tried in vain to push her off me, "get off, Monster."

She laughed and then made a graceful jump off the bed, irritating me even more, since I no longer possessed that same agility and easy movements. I slipped out from under the covers and shivered in the coolness of my room, running quickly for the door and into the bathroom. Before I knew it, I was downstairs at the kitchen table, having an uncomfortable staring contest with Dad.

"Isabella," uh oh, "where were you all day yesterday?" I could see the undisguised worry in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Dad, in the rush to get to Seattle in time, so I wouldn't be home too late, I forgot to drop by here and leave a note. I am truly sorry." I tried to convey my sincerity with my words and eyes.

He huffed and I knew that I was somehow off the hook. "Don't do it again, Bells, you really scared me." I nodded and waited, since I knew he had more to say. "What were you doing in Seattle on your first day?" He lifted one eyebrow in question.

Now for the story we had concocted last night on the drive home. "Well, do you remember Vanessa, Dad?" I hadn't paid attention in lunch yesterday, so Ren had filled me in on the background to why we knew each other so well. Dad shook his head in response. "She's a good friend from Phoenix. Anyway, turns out that her family just moved here too and she's attending school with me. She wanted to go to Seattle to shop and I didn't want her to go alone. Besides, she doesn't have a car." Yet.

He seemed appeased by this. "What's her last name?" Oh right, he wanted to check out the family, since he probably hadn't heard of anyone new moving here recently.

"Her name is Vanessa Wolfe, Dad, but don't even bother with the suspicions. Her parents are very private and I'm sure they moved in without announcing it to the whole town. They travel a lot too, so Vanessa is mostly on her own here." This brought out the gentle man, buried beneath the cop.

"Well, you'll have to invite her over for dinner some time, then." And that was it for conversation.

Dad left for work and Ren came downstairs, just like yesterday. I busied myself with making the both of us some breakfast and we made plans to go to the market after school. I had to stock up the house since Dad does take-out when he's left to his own devices and Monster didn't have any food in the cabin. I silently wondered what my home looked like now, before Esme had a chance to work her magic on it. I'm sure I would see for myself, eventually.

After I had washed off our plates, we locked up and got in my truck, making our way to school.

It was quite the eventful day, I must say. Due to Ren's little outburst yesterday in class, everyone was staring at us. It was even worse than the last time around and I silently thanked Rose for helping me to accept, and at times even enjoy, the spotlight, otherwise I would've been blushing up a storm right now. Angela kept giving Monster sly glances, whenever she passed by, Mike was looking at her with something akin to awe and Jessica? Well, she was just all out glaring, helped by her 'posse'. Seriously?

I could definitely tell that I was almost 100 years old.

When it was time for lunch, we went over to the table we had sat at, at the end of lunch yesterday and I was pleasantly surprised that Angela joined us. I didn't realize last time, how much she craved friends that weren't Lauren and Jessica.

What I wasn't surprised by, was the absence of my husband. At this moment, he was in Alaska, trying to figure out how to deal with my presence in his school. If things went exactly like originally, he would be back on Monday.

And then he would speak to me for the first time. I couldn't wait.

"What's wrong, Vanessa?" I heard Angela say and looked over at my daughter, swallowing my grin at her face.

While there were some human foods she could easily enjoy, most of it was as disgusting to her as any normal vampires. Sloppy Joe's were one of them.

"Nothing," she tried to hide her displeasure, "I guess I'm just not in the mood for meat right now." She said, picking up the fruit instead and nibbling on a banana.

The lunch hour was very quiet, but in a comfortable way. I could tell that Ren was starting to really like Angela and I felt sad that we would have to leave her behind one day. Again. The bell rang and after seeing Monster off, we made our way to Biology.

We arrived in good time and I wanted to offer Angela to sit with me, unfortunately I wasn't supposed to know that my partner wouldn't show up, so I just left her to go to her seat. And then I turned around, looking right into the smiling face of Mike Newton. I bit back my groan, wondering if my daughter's outburst hadn't attracted him more to me. Why couldn't he set his sights on Monster, at least she knew how to let them down. I was just too nice for that.

"Hi Mike," I started, wanting to get this over with. Where was the teacher when you needed him? "What's up?" I lifted my eyebrows, showing complete innocence, even though I knew what he came here for.

"Hey Bella. I just wanted to hear if you would like to come to the beach with us, this weekend." He asked and then was quick to add something more. "Of course, Vanessa can come too."

I knew Ren would have no problem going, she wouldn't let something like the presence of Lauren and Jessica, stop her, there was just one issue. The trip this weekend was going to be canceled. With that information in mind, I knew exactly how to appease my new stalker.

"Sure, Mike, I'd like that. I'll talk to Vanessa about it after school." He was about to say something more, probably wanting to see if it would be a date, but thankfully I was saved by the bell and the entrance of Mr. Banner.

After class I practically ran for the door, grabbing Monster's arm and pulling her along behind me. I looked back for a second, seeing Mike's disappointed face and felt slightly bad. Until I remembered how annoyingly persistent he had been the last time. Even at my wedding, he had sent me these looks and whatever guilt I felt disappeared with that thought. He was incorrigible.

Gym wasn't as horrible this time around. I guess living for 75 years with grace helped, even if I was back to being human. It also helped that I shared this class with Ren and the wrath of most of the student body, was directed at her. I couldn't help but snicker at the glares that were sent her way, all through out class.

I'm a horrible mother, right?

Finally, the last bell rang and I hurried to get dressed, practically running out to my car. After what happened yesterday, I wanted to make sure that I was home before Dad, to give him some peace of mind. Ren was already waiting by the truck, when I walked across the parking lot. Suddenly, her eyes slightly widened at something behind me. I surreptitiously turned my head, looking over my shoulder at the staring faces of my siblings. Hmm, they must be wondering how it's possible for a simple human like me, to chase their brother out of town.

I shrugged off the hurt I felt, knowing that it wouldn't be like this forever and got into my truck. Monster knew better than to comment and so the short trip to the Thriftway was silent.

"What do you need, Ren?" I asked, as we sat in the parking lot. She pulled out a piece of paper, with a list of food items on it. I knew better than to shop for her, since her taste for human nutrients changed all the time. "Okay, let's go." We stepped out of the truck, across the road and into the warmth of the somewhat large store.

It was here, walking down aisle three, looking for peanut butter, that Monster spotted her. I felt a finger, poking me in the side and when I looked up, she nodded her head to her right. It seems Esme was out, keeping up appearances. She was pushing a cart filled with groceries and I laughed internally at the irony.

I also felt a clench in my chest, at the sight of her. My mother, in every way that counted. She had taken me in, even when her children were still a bit wary of my presence in their lives and made me feel like Renee never did. Like a daughter.

I had been so busy staring and reminiscing, that I completely missed the absence of Monster at my side. I saw her skipping over to her grandmother and I froze. What was she doing?

"Hi," I heard her say, as I slowly approached the two, "I'm new in town and I was wondering if you could tell me where the produce section is?" Esme looked at her with a warm smile and I knew I couldn't be mad at Ren. She just wanted to talk to her loving Grandma, even if she would do it as a stranger in a grocery store.

I was standing next to Monster, when Esme answered her. "Oh it's just down that aisle and then to the left." She looked at me quickly, but I saw the recognition in her eyes. She knew I was the girl her son had left because of. Great. "So, you say you just moved here? How do you like Forks so far?" How nice of her to keep up conversation, instead of trying to get rid of us.

"Oh it's very nice," she responded fondly, "though a bit small. I'm from Phoenix originally, so it's a bit strange." She laughed and then turned to me. "Oh, this is my friend, Bella. She's the Chief's daughter?" Esme nodded to say that she knew who I was, "We knew each other in Arizona, so it helps to have someone familiar in a new place."

"That does sound nice." I could see that she was now planning to back out, gracefully of course. "Well, I hope you'll both be very happy here. I should go though, I have a lot to do today." She smiled at us.

"Of course, it was nice talking to you." Ren responded and we watched her walk past us, turning at the corner and disappearing from our sight. I immediately turned to my daughter.

"What were you thinking, Renesmee? That was a very stupid and risky thing to do." I said in a low tone, making sure that she knew I meant it.

She looked down and sighed. "I just wanted to talk to her." She whispered, sadness in her voice.

I felt instantly bad for how I had spoken to her, but she needed to understand that even one tiny mistake, could alter the life we were supposed to have. I just couldn't risk my future, or hers.

"I know, honey, and it was really good to see her, but you can't do something like that again, understand?" I put my hands on her arms, forcing her to look up at me.

"Yeah," she finally said, gazing at me with wet eyes, "I guess I do." She admitted and walked solemnly back to the aisle, to get the peanut butter.

We didn't speak again for the rest of the time and when I parked in the driveway, she quickly left the truck and ran into the forest. I knew I wouldn't see her again until tomorrow morning and it hurt to know that she was in so much pain, but she had to learn. She had to be mature about this, or the consequences could potentially become very dire.

Dad came in the door, just as I was placing the last item into a cupboard and smiled when he saw me. I think I saw relief in his eyes and realized with a pinch of sadness, that I had lost a bit of his trust yesterday. I couldn't seem to do anything right these days, constantly hurting the people I love.

For the first time, since all of this happened, I truly wished for the presence of my husband. I needed his loving arms around me, comforting me and telling me that everything was okay. I don't know how I will last, if this keeps up.

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
January 22nd, 2005**

* * *

The rest of the week passed by, as uneventful as it had the first time. Or maybe I just had too much on my mind, to notice anything unusual or interesting. Like she had on Wednesday, Angela joined us at the lunch table everyday. The glares from Jessica, Lauren and the other girls did not lessen, but I didn't expect them too. I had a feeling that holding grudges were their forte.

When Monster had woken me up on Thursday morning, her mood was much brighter, though I could tell she didn't want to talk about what had happened. I was comforted by reminding myself, that it wouldn't stay this way forever. I hoped.

Mike was, of course, as persistent as ever and would constantly bring up the beach trip. I think he was worried that I might decide to change my mind, since the girls weren't exactly being very nice and they would be going as well. I took it all in stride, while at the same time trying very hard, not to get his hopes up.

I was already in love and it wasn't with him.

Saturday morning was the first time all week, that I woke up on my own. Monster had been in Olympia yesterday, having run there in a little under an hour, buying herself a car and I was to drive to the cabin in a few hours, so we could take her new ride to Seattle. She refused to go in my truck again and I understood where she was coming from. As much as I loved it, my years as a vampire had made me less tolerant for the snail-like speed it could only handle.

I had just stepped out of the bed and was on my way to the bathroom for my shower, when I heard the phone ring downstairs. As I ran down to get it, I wondered briefly who it could be. Ren was expecting me, so she was out.

"Hello," I said breathlessly, having tripped on the last step and injured my hand. Dammit.

"Hi Bella," I heard Angela's voice over the line, "I didn't wake you, did I?" So caring, that one.

"No, no, it's okay," I sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, "I was just about to get in the shower. What's up?"

"Well," she seemed to hesitate for a second, "my parents are at the lake house this weekend, with the twins, so I'm alone. I wanted to stay home, since I have some homework to do. I was just wondering," she stopped again and I realized that it was her shyness that was responsible, "what you were doing today?"

I took a few seconds to think about this, but really, my answer was obvious. I was sure Monster wouldn't mind, even if it meant having to pretend for one more day. "Actually, me and Vanessa are going to Seattle today," before she could reply in sadness, I pushed onward, "but I'm sure she would be fine with an extra person. I sorta feel bad that I didn't even think to ask you, before now." I admitted sheepishly.

"Oh no, that's okay, Bella," she was quick to pacify me, "I understand. But, if you're sure she wouldn't mind, I would love to go. I was going to ask if you wanted to study together, but I can do my homework tomorrow. What time do you leave?"

"I'll be going to her house in a little over an hour and then we'll take her car. Do you want me to come by and pick you up then, or just wait until we're in her car?" I already knew the answer. Although Angela was a sweet and kind girl, she was also human and therefore very curious. I was sure she wanted to see how the mysterious Vanessa Wolfe lived.

"Oh, you can just pick me up here, in your truck. I don't want you to go out of your way, since the turnoff for Seattle isn't anywhere near my house." Ah, so that was the excuse she was using, I thought with a smile.

"Okay. I'll be there in about an hour, bye." I waited for her dismissal and then hung up the phone, walking back up the stairs and into the bathroom.

I was quick to get ready, knowing that the faster we got to Seattle, the longer we could stay there. In Monster's new car, I was sure it would only take a couple of hours and then we would have all day there. I had already gotten the okay from Dad and he knew not to expect me home in time for dinner. Me and Ren had planned to go to a restaurant in town and I was sure Angela would be up for that.

As I searched my closet for something to wear, I spotted the dark blue shirt that Edward had always loved on me. The cashmere fabric was soft between my fingers, as I fought the tears begging to be released. Just two more days, I told myself, and then I could hear his voice and look into his eyes, without the fear of being caught staring. _You can handle two more days._ I sighed deeply and turned away from the memory inducing shirt, digging deeper in the closet.

Dressed in a pair of black khakis, a deep purple shirt and a denim vest, I packed up my bag and ran out to the car. It was a nice day and I decided to leave my jacket in the car, when we reached the city. I started the engine and made my way to Angela's house.

"Hey Bella," she said, getting comfortable in the passenger seat, "I was just about to call you, to hear if you needed directions, but it seems you did just fine." She smiled.

Crap, I completely forgot that I wasn't supposed to know where she lived. Thankfully she had a small town mentality and brushed it off, since practically everyone knew everything there was to know about Forks. I mentally sighed in relief and drove towards the forest, heading for the small cabin that had once been my home.

"Wow, Vanessa really lives far away from anything." Angela commented, when we had driven for almost half an hour, in the woods.

I knew that my family had heard and recognized the sound of my truck, since we had to drive pretty close to their house, in order to get to the road leading to the cabin, but I tried to ignore it. I couldn't help wondering though, what they would assume the reason was. Did they know that Ren lived just a few miles behind them?

Thank God that Esme didn't officially own the cabin, or they could have us arrested for trespassing.

"We're almost there," I said and minutes later, I parked next to the brand new, hot pink Ferrari. It was a two-seater, but I'm sure we could make it work.

Getting out of the car, I walked with Angela toward the front door and realized with shock, that it looked nothing like I remembered it. I guess Esme did more work on it than I ever thought and I silently reminded myself to thank her, if I ever saw my version of my mother again. We walked up the short stairs of the porch and I lifted my hand to knock on the door.

Before I could though, it swung open and there stood Monster, with a big smile on her face.

"Hey guys," she smiled and looked at the girl next to me, "Angela, I thought I saw you from the window, how nice. Are you coming with us to Seattle?" I was sure that it was the brilliant grin on my daughter's lips, that made Angela comfortable enough to speak up in the positive.

After getting the hello's out of the way, she invited us in for a quick tour, before we left for the city. It was even more different on the inside. It was extremely old fashioned, with stone walls and ancient appliances. As soon as you walked in, you had the kitchen on the left and living room on the right. There was no hallway, just a small rug to leave your shoes on.

The kitchen was something from the stone ages, it seemed, with a wood stove and dark oak cabinets. A plus I hadn't expected though, was the dishwasher and oven from what I guessed was the seventies. The living room was even tinier than the kitchen, with one two-seater, beige couch and a matching chair, along with a wooden box used as a table. The couch was pushed up against a door, but Ren was quick to mention that it was because it only led outside. Apparently there used to be a room on the other side, but it had been torn down at some point.

We moved on to the one bedroom, which was bigger than I would've thought, due to the small size of the cabin. Just as the rest of the house, the walls were stone all around, with one single window to the left of the room. There were two bedside tables on each side and in the middle stood a comfortable looking bed, with purple flower linens. Damn, her bed was bigger than mine. The door to the right opened into the small bathroom, with a very awkward looking tub. All in all, it looked like a decent place for Monster to live, until we had time to either work on it like Esme, or find something better.

"It's very nice Vanessa," Angela stated, though I could tell she was just trying to be nice, "but where do your parents sleep?" Uh oh.

"Oh," Ren's eyes widened, she hadn't expected this either. We were idiots, "well, I don't really know. When they bought it, it was without seeing it and I guess they just assumed that it was a two-bedroom. Now that you mention it, that is going to be a problem, isn't it."

Thank God that Angela was too nice to hear a lie when she was told one. Though I knew that both myself and Monster hated lying to her, when she was being so good to us. Unfortunately it was necessary and we would just have to swallow our biting guilt.

"Now," Monster hurried to change the subject, "let's go out to the car and get on the road. The faster we get there, the more time we'll have." We left the cabin and made our way to the disgustingly colored convertible. "Sorry that it isn't bigger, I wasn't thinking about space when I bought it." She laughed, as we squeezed our way into the small two-seater.

"Angela," she waited for her to look at her, since I was seated in the middle, "me and Bella were planning to eat dinner in Seattle, you don't mind getting home a bit late, do you?"

"No, of course not. It sounds like fun, actually." I saw something in Angela's eyes, that both disturbed and pleased me.

Disturbed, because it was obvious that she had never had true friends before and pleased, because now we could be those friends. I curse the day Jessica and Lauren was born. They must never have treated her very well, I don't understand why she kept hanging around them all these years.

We made it to the city in a little under two hours and I could tell that Angela was shocked. I had made sure to keep her attention occupied, so she wouldn't notice the speed and so she was surprised by how quickly we had gotten here. But like regular Angela behavior, she simply shrugged it off and followed us into the large mall.

We walked straight for the food court, since it was lunch time and we were all getting a bit hungry. Angela ordered a veggie burger, Ren the Caesars salad and I just got a plate of potato fries. We ate in companionable silence, not restarting a conversation until the food was all but devoured.

"So," as always, Monster took the lead, "where do you guys wanna go first?" I shared a look with my daughter when we realized that we wouldn't be able to use too much money today, as we had planned, since Angela would wonder where we got it from.

Then Ren shot me a victorious look and I growled under my breath. She was pretending to be the daughter of two very wealthy travelers and could buy anything she wanted. Brat.

"Well," Angela spoke up first, "I would like to go to that new bookstore they opened in the south end, if that's okay?" I decided that we needed to make sure she knew, that she could always speak her opinion in our company.

"Of course," I said, smiling at her, "why wouldn't it be? Besides, I could use some new books too. Why don't we go there first and then we can look at a new school bag for you Vanessa."

Ren smiled her agreement and we all took our paper plates to the trash can, walked out of the food court and in the direction of the brand new Barnes & Nobles. I preferred quaint little secondhand bookstores, but this would do. For now.

By the time we left the store, we had been in there for an hour and a half. We were all carrying at least two bags when we exited and decided to deposit them in the car, before moving on. There really was no reason to heft the heavy books around, if we didn't have to. When that was done, Angela announced that she had to use the ladies room and we waited for her at the entrance to the mall, so she could easily find us again. Ren bent down and whispered in my ear.

"I can't believe how old all of those books were, even though some of them were released this year. I guess it didn't really hit me, until right now, that we're 77 years in the past." She said, with an impish grin.

"I know what you mean," I whispered back, "I was hoping to get a copy of Drake's _Melodic Symphony_ , until I remembered that the author hasn't even been born yet." I grinned at the thought.

Monster snickered, as we moved to sit down on one of the benches, off to the side. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I've been dying to re-read Jacqueline Stomas' _The Winter_ , but that won't be out for another 7 years, even though it's considered a classic where we come from."

We kept up the banter, throwing book titles around that had not been written yet and Ren joked that she could make a fortune as an author, since she had the photographic memory of a vampire. I laughed, since I knew she was only kidding and went along with her antics. We were having such a good time with this, that we never heard the approach.

"Hey guys, what's so funny?" Angela smiled and it wasn't until then that I realized our current position, practically rolling around on the floor, snickering like a pair of hyenas.

We quickly sobered up and got off the floor. "Oh, it's nothing," I said, once I had myself under control, "We were just discussing some books we've read." Ren was still slightly grinning beside me.

"Right," Angela replied, a somewhat knowing look in her eyes, but as usual, she let it slide, "now, did you say something about getting Vanessa a backpack for school?"

It seemed Angela had noticed that Ren had used my bag to carry her things, but since she was sent back here only in the clothes on her body, there really hadn't been anything else we could do. We would rectify that now though, as we made our way to the large outlet store, for school supplies.

At 7pm, we left the mall and decided to forgo the car, walking through town, looking for a place to eat. We couldn't seem to agree on one, until we came to the Spanish inspired Harvest Vine, on Madison. The interior was very comfy and down to earth.

Ren went with the Almejas, which is steamed clams with chorizo and spicy tomato sauce. Angela got the Piquillos Rellenos de Brandada, which is piquillo peppers stuffed with salt-cod and potato mousse. Me, I simply went with the Cordero, which was grilled lamb loin in torrefacto onion oil with fennel and fava beans.

"So, how are you doing on your paper, Ang?" Ren began the conversation, while we waited for our food. Angela and Monster had English together and apparently they had a paper due.

"Well, I've got the outline so far, but I'll start writing it tomorrow. What about you?"

"Oh, I already finished it," Monster laughed to take out the sting, "but I'm gonna go over it tomorrow too, make sure there are no faults, y'know."

"Wow, that was fast. What topic did you pick?" Before she could answer, the waitress came with our food and we quickly dug in.

"Well," I kicked my daughter under the table. I taught her better than to speak with her mouth full. She swallowed and continued, "I decided to go with _Anna Karenina_ , since I've read it a few times before already. That's why I finished the paper so quickly." She explained. "What about you, which book did you pick?"

" _A Room With A View_ by E. M Forster. I'd never read it before, although I always wanted to. I just finished it last night."

"That's a good one," I chimed in, "I read that one when I was 12, I think, on a vacation to Miami with my mother." I remember Renee complaining that the holiday was meant for fun, not with your nose stuck in a book.

We filled the rest of the conversation with more talk of novels, since all three of us were very avid readers. Deciding to forgo dessert, we left the restaurant at 8.30pm and agreed to go the several blocks to Lake View Park. After all, it was such a nice night.

I was so tired on the drive back to Forks, that Monster offered to just drop me off at home and then pick me up again Monday for school. I could come back to the cabin with her after, to get my truck. I agreed and said goodbye to her and Angela, with a promise to see them in two days.

Like I had at the beginning of the week, I fell asleep the moment my head touched the pillow, although this time my dreams were filled with the angelic face of my husband.

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
January 24th, 2005**

* * *

"Thanks for the lift, honey, I'm really starting to think that it was a bad idea to go with the truck again. It's just so... slow."

Monster had picked me up as she said she would and even joined me for breakfast. We hadn't talked all day Sunday, since she took that time to go for a long hunt, stating that it had been time. I hated complaining about my car, I loved it, but I had to face the facts. It just didn't fit me anymore, no matter how much I wanted it too. It was time to trade up.

"I know Mom," she said with a sympathetic voice, "but at least you had the choice this time. If you want, I can go with you when you want a new one."

"Thanks," I smiled appreciatively, "now let's get to class." We got out of the car and tried our best to ignore the looks we were getting.

Monster nudged me in the side with her elbow and gestured over to the silver Volvo, parked near the last building. I had to bite my cheek to hide the smirk, when I saw the jealous look on Rosalie's face. Little did she know, that Ren's love for cars was thanks to her.

We waved goodbye at the door to her building, planning to meet up as always, just before lunch.

When the bell rang, I left my Spanish class, to find Monster waiting for me at the door. She had a huge grin on her face and I was about to find out why. When we walked out of the building, the air was full of swirling bits of white. I could hear people shouting excitedly to each other. The wind bit at my cheeks and nose.

"What do you know," I smiled back at my daughter, "It's snowing."

I looked at the little cotton fluffs that were building up along the sidewalk and swirling erratically past my face. I had learned to love snow, since becoming a vampire and even though I was back to being human now, it stuck. It was just so... magnificent. Like a magical winter wonderland. I especially loved living in Denali, since it snowed there 95% out of the year. Another plus to snow, was that it meant not having to hide out at home, for fear of exposure.

"I know, isn't it great?" Monster was practically bouncing, as we made our way to the cafeteria.

Angela caught up to us at the door and began a conversation with Ren. I simply listened politely as I walked behind them, preparing myself for what was about to come. Today was the day that my husband came back and I had already decided on the events. I would make him fall in love with me all over again, if it was the last thing I did.

As I stood in the food line, I peeked a glance at the far table and just as I had predicted, there were five people at the table. Unlike last time, this did not make me feel ill, but I could however feel the distinct butterflies in my stomach, when I thought about the upcoming Biology lesson. I followed the girls mutely to what had now become our table and took a surreptitiously glance back at my family, knowing exactly what to expect.

They were laughing. Edward, Jasper and Emmett all had their hair entirely saturated with melting snow. Alice and Rosalie were leaning away as Emmett shook his dripping hair toward them. They were enjoying the snowy day, just like everyone else, only they looked more like a scene from a movie than the rest of us. I knew it was a show, put on to ease my mind after what happened last Monday, but I couldn't help reveling in how real it looked. All thanks to my sister and her perfect visions.

"Bella, what are you looking at?" Angela called out, her eyes following mine. She had asked almost the exact same question as Jessica and I knew what was coming next.

At that precise moment, his eyes flashed over to meet mine. I dropped my head, letting my hair fall to conceal my face, feeling strangely shy all of a sudden. Probably because he didn't know me at all and yet I loved him more than anything and had for 77 years. Like last time, although now I wasn't expecting it, he did not look harsh or unfriendly. He merely looked curious, unsatisfied because my mind was silent to him. It seemed that our daughter was doing a great job, keeping her thoughts mundane.

"Wow, he's really staring at you," Angela smiled, slightly awed.

"Stop looking at him," I laughed and hit her softly on the arm. She mimicked my laugh, but did as I said immediately, turning back to her talk with Monster.

The bell rang and we split up once more, me and Angela heading for building two. Once inside the classroom, I saw with relief that my table was still empty. It gave me time to prepare for the upcoming conversation. Mr. Banner was walking around the room, handing out one microscope and a box of slides for each table. Class didn't start for a few minutes and the room buzzed with noise among the students. I sat down at my desk and took a deep breath, going over what I could remember from last time, in my head.

I heard very clearly when the chair next to me moved, as he tried to seem as human as possible, but my eyes stayed carefully focused on the table. I waited with bated breath, to hear the sound of his musical voice. It felt like centuries since I'd last heard it, though it had only been one week.

"Hello," it finally came.

He was still sitting as far away from me as the desk allowed, his chair angled toward me. His hair was dripping wet, disheveled and yet he still looked like he'd just finished shooting a commercial for hair gel. His dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile on his flawless lips. But his eyes showed me the truth. I had learned over the decades how to read him, while at the same time learning how to keep him out of my own head, so to speak. This time, I would not be an open book.

"My name is Edward Cullen," he continued, unaware of my thoughts, "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

"Yes," I replied, unlike the first time, "I am. It's nice to meet you." I tried to keep my voice as innocent as possible, so as not to flare his suspicion.

Before he had a chance to say more, Mr. Banner started the class. I tried to concentrate as he explained the lab we would be doing, quickly realizing with a groan, that I had done it a hundred times in the past. "Get started," he commanded and the room became a bit more silent. Although that just meant that people lowered their voices, not that the conversations stopped.

"Ladies first, partner?" Edward asked. I looked up to see him smiling my favorite crooked smile and found myself staring at him like an idiot. "Or I could start, if you wish." The smile faded; he was obviously wondering if I was mentally competent. I bit back the urge to slap myself in the forehead.

"Sorry, I was lost in thought," I jibed, enjoying the hint of annoyance in his topaz eyes, "I'll go ahead." This time I had not just done the lab once before, but much, much more. "Prophase." I stated and waited for him to confidently check my answer.

"Do you mind if I look?" he asked, as I began to slowly remove the slide, knowing it was coming. His hand caught mine to stop me, as he spoke. I ignored the coldness of his hands that I was used to by now and instead reveled in the familiar electric current passing through me. "I'm sorry," he muttered, probably for the cool of his skin, pulling his hand away immediately.

"Prophase," he agreed, writing it neatly in the first space on our worksheet. He swiftly switched out the first slide for the second and then glanced at it cursorily. "Anaphase," he murmured, writing it down as he spoke.

"May I?" I could've just said nothing, but I couldn't have him thinking that I was the kind of person who didn't get offended, when someone thought I wasn't smart enough. I had to make him see, that I was different from the other girls, so he would take the time to get to know me.

He smirked and pushed the microscope to me. I looked through the eyepiece, already knowing what I would find. He was right, of course. "Slide three?" I held my hand out, looking straight into his eyes. He would see that I was not scared of him. He handed it to me, being careful not to touch my skin again. Damn.

I took the most fleeting look I could get away with. "Interphase." I passed him the microscope before he could ask for it. He took a swift peek and then wrote it down, in the elegant scripture of someone from his time. Mine had gotten better over the years as well, but it was no Victorian handwriting, that was for sure.

We were finished before anyone else was close, of course and I turned slightly in my seat to look at him. There would be no hiding behind my hair this time. In fact, I had tied it up in a bun, so as not to fan my scent over to him, with a simple turn of my body. I didn't want to make him more uncomfortable than necessary. He stared back at me, that same inexplicable look of frustration in his eyes.

I decided that he wasn't going to be starting the conversation, so it was up to me. "Were you sick last week?" I said, choosing a topic that hadn't been discussed last time.

"No," he seemed to hesitate for a bit, probably shocked that I still wanted to speak to him, "I was visiting relatives out of state." At least he wasn't straight out lying.

"Hmm, that sounds nice," I honestly didn't know what more I could say, less he become wary. As a human I am not supposed to want to interact with this dangerous predator, I thought and fought the urge to roll my eyes.

Mr. Banner came back to our table then, to see why we weren't working. He looked over our shoulders to glance at the completed lab and then stared more intently to check the answers. "So, Edward," here come the accusations,"didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?" He asked, impertinently.

"Bella," Edward corrected automatically, making me smile. "Actually, she identified three of the five."

Mr. Banner looked at me now; his expression was skeptical, which only served to piss me off. I decided to wait until he spoke and then I would channel Rose. This prick would not get away with assuming that I was some half-wit, simpleton.

"Have you done this lab before?" he asked.

"No, sir," I replied, keeping my face blank and my voice calm.

He harrumphed. "I guess it's good you two are lab partners." He said and mumbled something under his breath as he walked away. Edward had once filled me in on what it was and I inwardly laughed at that thought. It was true, the others would learn more when they weren't flying on someone elses work.

"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?" Edward suddenly asked, once the teacher was back at his table.

I was looking directly at him when I responded. "Yes, it is. I love the snow, although I could do without the snowball fights." I smiled.

He seemed shocked and irritated. "You don't get much snow in Arizona, do you?" He said, trying to keep up a steady stream of conversation, so as to ward of any suspicions he thought I might have.

"No, but I've been to Alaska before. A small town named Denali, if you've heard of it?" I said, enjoying the look in his eyes. "It's such a magical place, with the white terrain." I repeated my earlier thought.

"Yes," he finally said, after a long pause, "it is quite lovely." He was flabbergasted and seemed to search his mind for a different topic, since this appeared to freak him out a bit. "If I may ask, why did you move here? I mean, you only have a little over a year left of High School."

"It's... complicated." It truly was.

"I think I can keep up," he pressed and I let him.

"My mother got remarried," I said, although that was the old reason. Now, he was my motivation.

"That doesn't sound so complex," he disagreed, but was suddenly sympathetic. "When did that happen?"

"Last September." This time, my voice did not sound sad.

"And you don't like him," Edward surmised, his tone still kind.

"No, Phil is actually really great, especially for my mom. Too young maybe, but nice enough." I decided to just put all the cards on the table, to save him from asking all of those questions that I already knew were coming. "You see, he plays minor league baseball for a living and that means he travels a lot. I wanted to give them time to themselves and so I decided to come out here, to finish school. So that's all."

"That was very... kind of you," I bristled a bit at his surprised look. What, just because I'm a teenager I can't be selfless?

"Thank you, but it was really no big deal. I wanted to get to know my dad too and it also helped that my close friend moved out here as well."

"Ah yes, Vanessa Wolfe. I heard about what happened in the cafeteria on Monday." Now he was gossiping? What wouldn't that boy do, to get into my head. "Do you mind my asking what that was all about?"

"Oh, Jessica made some crude comment about your mother actually and Vanessa is very outspoken. She didn't like the assumptions being made and stood her ground against her." Of course, Edward already knew all of this, since he had heard the whole thing as clear as if he had been standing right next to us.

"How sweet of her, I will have to thank her for that. And you're right, the children here do make hasty assumptions." I internally snickered at his comment about the 'children'. He didn't even seem to realize how often he slipped up.

His concentrated look was back and I decided to call him on it. "What's wrong?"

"I find you very difficult to read." I thought it ironic, that even though I had completely changed the conversation, he still had to utter these words.

"I've been told so before," I smiled at him cryptically. He smiled back widely, flashing a set of perfect, ultra white teeth. I knew he was trying to intimidate me, to scare me off, but I didn't give him the satisfaction. My facial features did not changed and my smile did not fall an inch. I simply kept up my stare for another two seconds and then turned my head back toward the front of the room.

I barely heard the frustrated groan he let out and had to fight very hard to keep the snicker at bay. Mr. Banner called the class to order then and I pretended to be listening intently. I chanced a sideways glance at my lab-partner and he was once again, leaning away from me, his hands gripping the edge of the table with unmistakable tension. I wonder how my scent had been whisked into his face this time. I tried to appear attentive as Mr. Banner illustrated, with transparencies on the overhead projector, what I had seen without difficulty through the microscope. However, my real attention was on my husband.

I wanted to get him reeled back into a conversation, but knew that it would be fruitless. He was holding his breath and filling his mind with images of Carlisle, to keep himself from killing me and I didn't want to make it worse. When the bell rang, Edward rushed as swiftly and gracefully from the room, as he had last Monday.

I packed up my things and although I had gotten good at it the past week, I could not ignore him any longer. Mike skipped quickly to my side and picked up my books for me. I once again imagined him with a wagging tail and bit back my snort.

"That was awful," he groaned. "They all looked exactly the same to me. You're lucky you had Cullen for a partner."

"I didn't have any trouble with it, Mike," I said, angered at the assumptions of this school. This time, I did not regret my snub, so instead of placating him, I grabbed the books he was holding and rushed out of the room, before he could say anything more.

Thank God that I had Gym with Monster, so I wouldn't have to partner with Mike this time around. She did a good job of covering me, just in case my inherent clumsiness suddenly decided to kick in. The only thing that happened, was that I 'accidentally' hit Mallory over the head with a birdie, when I was up for serve. Oops.

The rain was just a mist as we walked to the parking lot, but it was still nice to be in the warmth of the Ferrari. Monster turned on the heater, but not the engine just yet. I unzipped my jacket, put the hood down and fluffed my damp hair out, so the heater could dry it on the way home. As Ren put the car in reverse and backed out of the parking lot, I looked over at the silver Volvo. Edward was leaning against the front door, staring intently in my direction.

I gave him small wave and a smile, laughing at the expression on his face. "What?" Monster asked and I gestured to my husband. She snickered right along with me and left the school lot, driving for the cabin.

I made some real progress today and I couldn't wait for night to be over, so I could see him again.


	4. Cold Consequences

**Full Summary;** Bella and Renesmee end up back in time to the first page in the _Twilight_ book, forced to live through everything for the second time in a row, at least for Bella. But maybe, together with the help of her daughter, she can make this time a whole lot better, for everyone involved. Except, of course, the bad guys. But fate can be a funny thing and perhaps doesn't like it when you mess around in its playground. Bella needs to be careful where she treads, if she's to succeed in her dangerous plans.

* * *

Cold Consequences

* * *

 **Forks, Washington**  
 **January 25th, 2005**

* * *

When I opened my eyes in the morning, something was different. It was the light. It was still the gray-green light of a cloudy day in the forest, but it was clearer somehow. I realized that there was no fog veiling my window. I jumped to look outside and then groaned in horror. I knew instantly what day it was. The day of Tyler's accident. Well, that would certainly not be happening this time around.

A fine layer of snow covered the yard, dusted the top of my truck and whitened the road. But that wasn't the worst part. All the rain from yesterday had frozen solid, coating the needles on the trees in fantastic, gorgeous patterns and making the driveway a deadly ice slick. I had to remind Monster when she came, to slow down her speed and drive more carefully.

Being only half-vampire, meant that she could get hurt.

Dad had left for work before I got downstairs and I felt bad that I hadn't gotten a chance to work on our relationship since I got here. Things had just been so hectic with Monster, school and Edward.

Breakfast was even more uneventful than the other days, as Ren hadn't joined me today. She had actually slept last night and so not to get up too early, she ate at the cabin. She would still pick me up though. I had decided that I needed another car, although how to approach the subject without hurting Dad's feelings, I had yet to figure out. This weekend, me and Monster would go to Olympia and look at a used car lot, since I couldn't spend too much. I couldn't wait.

I heard a honk and quickly washed off my plate, grabbed my bag and ran out the door. I slid into the passenger seat of the pink Ferrari and threw my bag to my feet. "Be careful today, honey. I remember what happened the first time around."

"What?" She asked, since this was one of those things she hadn't been told of.

"There was an accident. Tyler Crowley hadn't been paying attention to the icy roads and it almost ended badly. If it wasn't for your father..." she sensed the rest of the sentence herself and gave me painfully tight hug, not liking the thought that she had almost lost me once. Though that would mean that she hadn't been born either.

"I'll be real cautious Mom, promise." She said and then turned out of my driveway.

Her speed was respectfully slow and I admired her maturity. She may look like just a seventeen year old, but it's times like these that she proves her real age. I couldn't be more proud.

Driving to school, I distracted myself from my fear that we may not be able to change anything, by thinking about my unwanted attention. Eric was not as bad as Mike, but then he hadn't been the first time around either. Maybe if the accident didn't happen, Tyler wouldn't notice me this time. I could only pray. I still didn't understand the difference between Forks and Phoenix, but I guess it's just part of life. Very strange.

When we came to the parking lot, I made sure that Monster parked as far away as possible, from the scene of the original accident. I didn't want to risk anything. I slowly got out of the car and saw Angela standing under the eave of building 3, waving. I suppose she was too afraid of slipping on the ice, to come over and meet us as per usual. I didn't blame her. Knowing how clumsy I could potentially be, Ren came over and interlocked her arm with me, steadying me if I was about to fall.

Gradually, we made our way across the parking lot. Suddenly, I heard the telltale high-pitched screech, fast becoming painfully loud. I looked to my right, startled and there he was. Tyler's dark blue van was skidding, tires locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly across the ice of the parking lot. It was going to hit the fence, made of pure steel. I felt bad that Tyler would be hurt even worse this time around, but it was too late to do anything about it right now.

Unlike most of the other students, I did not go to the hospital when the ambulance drove off with Tyler in the back. The classrooms were eerily empty, save for the few students who actually cared about their studies. But by the time third hour rolled around, the school was starting to fill up again. Guess they were sent back here by the doctors or the principal. Or maybe their parents, I thought with a mental laugh.

"I heard that he broke his left leg in the collision," Angela said, as we walked towards the cafeteria, "and also his collar bone. I feel so bad for him."

"He should've watched where he was going, especially on this day, but you're right. No one deserves that." Ren stated, pointedly glancing at the table with Jessica and Lauren.

Lunch was quieter than usual, people whispering to each other about the close call and how it could've happened to any of them. The only students that hadn't returned from the hospital it seemed, were Tyler's friends. Which is why I was surprised to see Mike at his normal table. Huh, guess it was me that brought them together. Wonderful.

I purposely did not look at the table that housed my family, deciding to forgo the morbid road and just accept the fact that I would at least get to see my husband in Biology. When the hour was over, I followed Angela out to the parking lot, said goodbye to Monster as per usual and made my way to building 2. I never saw it coming.

I heard Angela's yell, felt Ren's despair and fear over our family bond and smelled the rancid scent of gasoline in the air, but still, I never saw it coming. I laid harshly on the ice cold ground, my fingers twitching and my nose burning, from the assault of my own blood, stinging my eyes. My vision darkened and spots appeared, as I vaguely saw my daughter leaning over my still body. There were tears in her eyes and I saw her mouth moving, but I heard not a single word. I blinked furiously, trying to get back some of my consciousness, but nothing helped. All I could hope for in this moment, was that Edward hadn't been anywhere near when the car struck me.

I could feel my blood pooling all around me, as the blackness finally took over.

* * *

I woke to an incessant beeping in my ear, the sterilized smell of hydrogen peroxide, the feel of harsh fabric against my body and the sound of someone sobbing.

I opened my eyes, not surprised to see the irritatingly familiar walls of a hospital. The first thing I noticed, was that I didn't seem to have any injuries. My body ached, but not in the way it usually did when I had stitches or a broken bone. How odd.

The sobbing hadn't stopped and I surmised that whoever was in here, hadn't noticed that I was awake. I looked to the left side of the bed and found my daughter with her head in her hands, bent over my bed, her whole body shaking. It hurt to see her like this. I slowly lifted my hand and placed it on her hair, gently stroking her curls.

She sat up in shock and looked at me with wide eyes. "You're awake!" She almost yelled and I couldn't understand the violent amount of surprise in her voice. "I can't believe it." Her voice was almost a whisper this time, as she jumped onto the bed and wrapped her arms tightly around me.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm okay," I kept up a steady stream of comforting words, as she continued to shake and sob in my arms.

My own eyes teared up and I couldn't help but wonder how long I had been in the hospital. The fact that I had no obvious injuries, although I could remember the blood clearly, coupled with the exclamation of my Monster, gave me certain worries. Unfortunately, she was far too distraught to give me any form of an answer at the moment.

I leaned back in the bed, trying to relax my body and mind, while I invited Ren to climb up and join me. I could sense that she needed the contact right now. I took a deep breath, as she wrapped her arms tightly around me and lay one leg over mine. Everything was so confusing and thinking too much about it, only made my head hurt.

I desperately wanted the doctor to come in and give me some answers.

Looking out the window I could tell that it was sometime around noon. Living in nothing but small, rainy towns for 77 years had taught me that much. But what day was it?

I mentally groaned, so as not to disturb my daughter, irritated by my lack of knowledge. Didn't they have some kind of machine, so they could tell when I woke up?

Then I wondered just how long I could've been in here. It was certainly more than just a couple of days, but how much more? Days, weeks, months? Probably not years, but you never knew. Had I completely ruined my chances at changing things for the better, when I decided to avoid Tyler's van? Possibly, which absolutely broke my heart.

I felt Monster's heartbeat slow down, until I knew she was asleep. I guess she hadn't gotten much lately, busy worrying about her mother. Great, just one more thing on the list of guilt for me.

I continued stroking her hair, as I thought of the possible consequences this might have, for my future relationship with Edward. Could saving me from Tyler's van, have been an important part of our start? This time, he had been nowhere near the parking lot, during the accident, which I suppose was only a good thing for the both of us. But I needed to know just how much I had ruined, so I could take responsibility for my actions.

And if it came down to it, I would just have to straight out tell them who I was. For Renesmee.

I heard the door to my room open and Dad's head peeked in. Probably checking to see if my 'friend' was asleep or not. When he saw my conscious state, his eyes filled with unshed tears and he practically raced to my side, grabbing me carefully up in his arms. Without waking Ren, I might add.

"Jesus, Bells," he choked out in a tired voice, "I was so worried."

"I'm okay, Dad," I hoped my scratchy voice was convincing enough, since I wasn't exactly sure how I was actually doing.

Emotionally, at least.

He leaned back from the embrace and looked into my eyes, either checking for sincerity or for health, or maybe both. When he seemed to find what he was looking for, he spoke again. "Do you want me to get the doctor, sweetheart?"

I only nodded and then let out a deep breath. Maybe now I could finally find out how long I had been in here.

Unfortunately, the confusion from waking up had left some holes in my memories and I was not prepared for the man who stepped into the room.

"Hello Ms. Swan, good to see that you're up. I'm Dr. Cullen," he smiled politely, holding my chart in his pale hands, "and I've been working on your case, ever since you were brought in."

This was it. "And exactly how long ago was that?"

He looked surprised and then a bit uncomfortable. Probably not pleased with being the one to give me the bad news. "You were brought in here six weeks ago. I'm sorry that you missed out on so much time, but trust me," the smile was back, reminding me of the father I had come to love, "it was actually better this way. It gave your body the time to heal properly, without disturbing the wounds."

"I understand," my voice lowered and then I turned to Dad, "do you think you can fill me in on some of things I've missed?" I pleaded with him.

He nodded, but before he could speak, Carlisle jumped in once again. "I will have to ask that it be a bit later, Ms. Swan. I have to check on your vitals and then you should get some rest."

"But... I've been sleeping for over a month, Dr. Cullen." I was getting better at not blurting out their names.

"I know that, but your body didn't rest the way it needs and it could have negative consequences. Just please," his smile became wry, "do this one thing for me. Just sleep for a couple of hours and then you can talk to you father all you want."

I sighed, "Alright, I guess I can do that," I conceded.

He smiled in triumph, shook Dad's hand and left the room. I wanted very badly to ignore my promise and interrogate Dad, but I suddenly felt extremely beat and a yawn escaped my lips. I heard my treacherous parent chuckling beside me, but was far too exhausted to even grant him an evil glare. I looked at him with sleepy eyes and gestured for him to sit by my bed, so I could speak to him the moment I woke up again. And then I was out like a light.

I ended up sleeping a lot longer than I had anticipated and, when I finally woke up, it was to the image of Dad walking into my room, holding a tray of hospital cafeteria food. How nice of him, to remember how much I despise the stuff patients usually get.

"Thanks Dad," my voice was starting to sound a bit better, I realized with a smile.

"No problem, Bells, you just eat up and get healthy, so you can come back home."

"Of course, you think I want to stay here any longer than necessary?" I shot back, an obvious smile in my voice.

He chuckled and took the seat by my side again, when I realized that someone was missing. "Where's Vanessa?" She was no longer lying next to me, but she wasn't anywhere in the room either.

"Oh well, she refused to go home and sleep, but I finally convinced her to get some food downstairs. She should be back any minute." I could tell he had more to say, so I waited for him to get over the embarrassment he always felt, at speaking more than a few words. "She's a good friend, Bells. Hasn't left your side in all the time you've been in here."

You don't know the half of it, Dad, I thought sarcastically.

"So," I said, changing the subject, "tell me everything." When he lifted an eyebrow, I decided to elaborate. "Well, start with the accident 6 weeks ago."

He seemed to collect his thoughts for a moment. Obviously this was not easy for him to talk about. "June Richardson was on her cellphone," he bit out angrily, "and didn't see you walking across the lot. She slid on the ice when she finally spotted you, turning the wheel too quickly and swerving dangerously." His voice choked. "It all happened so fast." He whispered.

I reached my hand out and took his in mine, squeezing it until he looked up at me.

"It's okay Dad," I tried to reassure him, "I'm okay now. I know that I had you worried there for a while, but everything is going to be okay." He gave me a weak smile and I moved on. "So, what happened to June?" I didn't want her to be too severely punished, since it had obviously been an accident.

"Well, she's had her license revoked and can't retake it until she turns eighteen." He stated, as if counting off a check list. He was angrier than I first thought, it seemed. "If you... hadn't made it," the choke came back, along with the tears, "she would've been charged with reckless manslaughter. Thank God it didn't come to that." He finished, returning my earlier squeeze, with a small, grateful smile.

Before I could say more, the door opened and Monster came into the room. When she saw the moment I was sharing with Dad, she smiled softly and silently walked over to the chair on my other side. I could tell that she felt a bit envious, but we couldn't tell him that he was a Grandpa. He'd never understand and I didn't want to put him in that particular position either. With the Volturi hanging in the back of my mind, it was just too dangerous.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Ren asked, when she realized that neither me nor Dad was going to speak right now.

"Better," I smiled and took her hand in my free one, "tired, though. But I don't want to sleep anymore." I added, when Dad looked ready to protest.

He harrumphed slightly and shook his head in mild amusement. "By the way, Bells," he started, looking worried about my reaction to his next words, "your mom is flying out here in a few days. She was here for the first week, but when you didn't show any signs of waking up just yet, she left again."

I realized quickly what had him so grim. He knew I hated having anyone worry about me, but in this case it was okay. After all, this had been one of the most serious injuries I had ever had. I don't remember being in a coma before now, I have to say.

"It's okay Dad," I patted his hand, "she deserved to know this time." I smirked at him and he smiled back, relieved that I wasn't going to blow up.

"Well," now was his chance to bow out apparently, "I'm gonna go back to the station for a bit. I haven't been there much in the last month." He said, face turning red. I suppose he didn't want me to know the extent of his worry and visits to my bedside. For once though, I kept my mouth firmly shut and let him give me a quick hug, before he left.

"So," Monster said when Dad left, sitting herself on my bed, "when can I spring you?" Ah, so much like her father, she is.

"You'd have to take that up with Dr. Cullen," I said, just in case we were in earshot of Carlisle, "I only just woke up, I'm afraid." I looked at her, really looked at her and didn't like what I saw. "Y'know, you should really get some rest, you look completely haggard. Are you sure you're okay?"

She lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. "Yeah I'm fine, I was just... worried there for a while. But you're okay now, so I am too." I smiled at her mature way of handling this whole thing. "By the way," she leaned in conspiratorially, her mood lifted, "a certain someone has been sneaking into your room at night, for almost the whole time that you've been here." She finished, a giddy grin on her lips.

Well, that was certainly a surprise. I suppose I had already struck Edward's curiosity. From what he once told me, he hadn't begun with the stalker thing, until after he started talking to me again. So this was a definite improvement and I couldn't help the smile this information put on my face. I was sure it was absolutely blinding.

"Wait," I had a sudden thought, "how did you know that, Ren?" We were whispering now and besides, I was sure she would hear if one of her family members was close enough to hear us.

"Oh please Mom," she huffed as if it were nothing, "like I don't know the scent of my own father. I could so totally smell him, a few days after you were admitted." Sometimes the maturity ran out and she sounded the age she appeared.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped. Ironic, really. I've only been human again for a few months and already I'm forgetting simple things like scent. If this keeps up, I'll end up completely forgetting what it was like to be a vampire, although I lived that existence five times longer than my human one. Wonderful.

I was about to ask about school, when the door opened to reveal someone even more unexpected than Carlisle. My eyes widened in shock and I gripped Monster's hand a little tighter than I should. Thank God I was no longer a Cold One, huh?

What was she doing here?

"Hello Bella," her smile was brighter than the sun, as she danced to my side and practically jumped on my bed, "I'm Alice and we are going to be best friends." She said, tapping her head as if she had a secret.

Of course, I already knew what it was.

She finally seemed to notice the other girl in the room and suddenly looked embarrassed at her words. Right, Vanessa was supposed to be the best friend in question. Forgot that for a moment. I shook my head at the crazy pixie almost bouncing on the madras, as her mood went back to her usual exuberance.

Where was her husband when you needed him?

"Uh hi... Alice," my hesitant words were not an act, "what are you doing here?" I tried not to make it sound as if I didn't want her here. I think she understood.

"Oh well, my dad," as if, "told me that you had woken up and I thought I would bring you some of the work we've been doing in Trig." She smiled.

We had Trig together? I thought I only had two classes with a Cullen, Biology and English. She must've seen the confused look on my face, because she rolled her eyes and decided to elaborate further.

"Jasper switched his schedule around while you were out and he now has Trig at the same time as you." She smiled and hoped my face didn't give away my thoughts. My brother hadn't done that last time, could I possibly have had anything to do with his reasoning?

I couldn't see how.

"That was very sweet of you, thanks." Especially since we've never spoken. At least not according to your memories.

"It was absolutely no problem." She smiled and I tried to hide the sadness in my eyes. I missed my best friend.

"Anyways, I'll let you get back to your friend," she sent a smile Ren's way, "and maybe get cracking on the homework." She winked, laughed, placed my books on the table and danced back out the door.

She had only been in here for less than 10 minutes, but it had had a clear effect. On the both of us it seemed, as I looked to my daughter.

"Wow, I had forgotten how big of a handful she could be," Monster laughed and I quickly joined her.

I couldn't wait to get back to school.

* * *

 **Forks, Washington**  
 **March 2nd, 2005**

* * *

In my dream it was very dark and what dim light there was, seemed to be radiating from Edward's skin. I couldn't see his face, just his back as he walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't catch up to him; no matter how loud I called, he never turned.

Troubled, I woke in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep again for what seemed like a very long time. I couldn't figure out what this meant. I knew that I had had this dream before, right after the original accident, if I remember correctly, but it couldn't possibly mean the same thing. Back then, it had been about me trying to figure out his secret. But I already knew what it was, so then what?

The confusion hadn't completely dissipated, by the time Dad came in and woke me up. I had been released from the hospital last night, three days after I woke up. There had been no more visits from Alice or any of the others. I did, however, wake up one night to the feeling of being watched. This did not freak me out as much as it had the first time, since I now knew where and who it was coming from.

It seemed Edward was still watching out for me, I thought with a smile. That was always something.

To my dismay, I found myself the center of attention when I returned to school. Me and Ren walked across the parking lot, her steadying me since I was still a bit woozy from the meds and the month long nap. There were more people staring than when I arrived the first time, or when Monster had her little outburst in the cafeteria. Rosalie had not prepared me for this much attention and it was making me feel very ill at ease.

At least something good came out of all of this. Tyler Crowley was still as ignorant of my presence as he had been in the beginning. Phew. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for Mike and Eric. Not even my six week long stay at the hospital could discourage those boys, it was unbelievable. Hadn't Jessica used this time to snag Mike up, while she still could?

After returning from such a long 'vacation', I expected her to be all in my face, asking questions. Even if she had ignored me a bit, since Ren's blowup on our second day, at least she had still spoken to me in class, but now? Nothing and I wondered why. Had I unknowingly done something to hurt her feelings? She may no longer be a friend in my eyes, but I didn't want to be mean either.

All throughout lunch I chanced several peeks at her table and still, she was silent. I couldn't fathom what could've have happened, but I would soon find out.

"So," Mike came up to me, as I prepared my things at the lab table, "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

Damn.

That's why it all seemed so familiar. Mike had told her maybe and she had correctly assumed that I was the reason. For crying out loud, I wanted to say to him, I haven't seen you in six weeks. He didn't even come to visit me at the hospital.

Why won't he just let it go already?

"That's great." I made my voice bright and enthusiastic. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."

"Well..." He floundered as he examined my smile, clearly not happy with my response. "I told her I had to think about it."

Of course he did. Well, I was just going to repeat the same conversation as last time, since this was the exact moment when Edward felt jealousy for the first time. Ha, take that stupid sparkly vampire.

"Why would you do that?" I let disapproval color my tone.

His face was bright red as he looked down again. Pity did not shake my resolve this time. Idiot. "I was wondering if... well, if you might be planning to ask me."

I paused for a moment, for dramatic effect, keeping Edward in my peripheral view. His head was tilted reflexively in my direction. Jackpot. Now to show him that Mike is certainly not my type, I thought with a hidden smile.

"Mike, I think you should accept Jessica's invitation," I said, probably not the same as last time, but how am I suppose to remember a talk I had with Mike, of all people. Not exactly one of the memories I treasured, after the change.

"Did you already ask someone?" I almost snorted at the glance he shot Edward.

"No," I assured him, firmly. "I'm not going to the dance at all."

"Why not?" Mike demanded and I bristled at his tone. I was not his freaking property. Ugh. The part of me that sometimes channels Rose was starting to peek it's ugly head out.

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," I explained, not actually lying this time, since I had made sure to make plans with Monster, just in case this happened again.

"Can't you go some other weekend?" There was that tone I did not like again.

"Sorry, no," I said, not feeling like I owed him any further explanation, "so you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer. It's rude." I huffed and turned back to look at the blackboard.

He got the not-so-subtle hint. "Yeah, you're right," he mumbled and turned, dejected, to walk back to his seat. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to push the wrath and irritation out of my head. Mr. Banner began talking and so I sighed, opening my eyes.

Edward was now staring at me curiously, that same edge of frustration in his eyes, that he always got. Even after decades of marriage, I thought, biting my lip to keep the snicker inside. I succeeded and decided that two could play this game. I stared back and his gaze intensified, almost probing. Still, I did not back down.

"Ms. Swan?" the teacher called, seeking the answer to a question that I hadn't heard. Last time he had singled out

Edward, but I supposed even the small things I change, alter others. Unfortunately for the smug look on Mr. Banner's face, I may not know the question, but I still remembered the answer.

"The Krebs Cycle," I answered, without turning to look at the teacher.

Edward looked stunned, awed and slightly suspicious, before returning his face to the same, false facade he always used around humans. Ah well, it can't happen overnight. Besides, if I hadn't altered too much, he should be speaking to me again, at the end of this class.

When the bell rang, I turned my back to him to gather my things, knowing exactly what was coming next.

"Bella?" I couldn't stop the knee-jerk reaction of my heart, responding to the voice of my husband.

I turned slowly, a slightly sly smile on my lips. I, like him, made my face unreadable and the frustration in his eyes grew impeccably. I mentally snickered and then spoke.

"What," I said, this time my voice was kidding, instead of petulant, "are you speaking to me again?"

His lips twitched, fighting a smile. "No, not really," he admitted.

I rolled my eyes and my smile grew. "Then what do you want, Edward?" I asked, loving the way his name still sounded on my lips.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really."

"I don't know what you mean," I lied, not wanting to give too much away just yet.

"It's better if we're not friends," he elaborated, "trust me."

It was extremely difficult for me, to not allow my eyes to roll again, so instead I made them narrow in pretense. I needed him to think that I was annoyed with him, so his interest would stay. If he thought I was just like all the other girls at this school, my plan would never work. I knew that this time, he was referring to the fact that he had suddenly stopped talking to me, or at least it had seemed so in the few times I had seen him before and after the accident. So the following words would be difficult to find, if I wished to keep his undivided frustration and attention.

"Hmm," I said, as I tried to figure out where to go from here, since the original conversation wouldn't work. He hadn't saved me from the van this time, "and why should I trust your words on this. What makes you different from all the other teenage boys in this school?"

His eyebrows fell and he looked sad all of a sudden. I didn't like it one bit. Especially not since I was the one who did it. "Please Bella, just trust me on this. You should stay away from me."

I wasn't ready to hear this right now, the memory of him leaving too fresh in my mind. I turned my head sharply away from him, clenching my jaw against all the tears threatening to fall out in rivers. I gathered my books together, then stood and walked to the door. Of course, I could never do anything half-way, so the toe of my boot caught the door jamb and I dropped my books. I stood for a moment, wondering why I hadn't remembered this, although small as it was. Then I sighed and bent down to pick them up. He was there though, he'd already stacked them into a neat pile. He handed them to me, his face still sad yet slightly resolved as well.

"Thank you," I whispered, no longer able to keep the tears at bay, as a single drop rolled down my cheek and fell on his hand.

He lifted up one finger and brushed it away. "You're welcome," his voice was just as low as mine and even though he hadn't said it, I heard the hidden apology.

I straightened up swiftly, suddenly aware of the people milling the hall behind me, turned away from him again and headed off to Gym without looking back.

Gym was brutal. We'd moved on to basketball and though I was usually not so bad this second time around, today just wasn't my day. I was far too distracted by my own thoughts and so I fell down a lot. Sometimes I took people with me. I tried to concentrate on my feet, but Edward's face kept creeping back into my thoughts just when I really needed my balance.

It was an even bigger relief than usual, to leave. I almost ran for the parking lot, desperate to get into the Ferrari and go to the cabin, as I had planned with Monster. There were just so many people I wanted to avoid. One of them was waiting for me at the hot pink car. Great.

I wanted to strangle the smug look off of my daughter's face.

"Hey, Eric," I called out, when I was just a few feet away. Here we go.

"Hi, Bella," he shuffled his feet slightly.

"What's up?" I said, as I walked over to stand beside Ren, trying to pretend as if I didn't know what was coming.

"Uh, I was just wondering... if you would go to the spring dance with me?" His voice broke on the last word.

"I thought it was girls' choice?" I said, not nice enough right now to soften the blow. I knew Mike had told him that I was going to Seattle.

"Well, yeah," he admitted, shamefaced. Serves him right.

I tried to make my smile warm when I replied. "Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day."

"Oh," he said, without surprise. I knew it. "Well, maybe next time."

I didn't say anything, there would be no false hope this time around. I heard a low chuckle and felt a jab in my side from Monster. I looked up to see Edward walking past the back of the Ferrari, looking straight forward, his lips pressed together. I yanked the door open and jumped inside, slamming it loudly behind me. I was getting really sick of his mood swings, even more than the first time.

Ren got into the driver's side and turned on the engine, backing out of the lot and onto the road in front of the school.

Unfortunately, Edward was blocking the exit and so we were forced to wait there, for the rest of our family to join him. But wait, there was no Tyler this time around, so what was he expecting to see?

I heard a knock on my window and just before I looked over to see who it was, I heard Monster's snicker. Brat.

Austin Marks was standing there, biting his lip and miming for me to lower my window. Now that I think about it, he had been staring at me a lot today. Great, Tyler is out, but instead this guy has taken over. How did he even know who I was, suddenly? I cranked the window down, not wanting to give the boy a reason to stick his head inside the car.

Seeing his own car behind me, I used the same line I had on Tyler. "Sorry Austin, I'm stuck behind Cullen." I was

annoyed, obviously the Fates liked to see me squirm.

"Oh yeah, I know," he said, though not as cocky as Tyler, "I just wanted to... ask you something." Great, here it comes.

"Will you maybe... ask me to the spring dance?" His confidence rose and I hated having to plummet his hopes. I had never really gotten to know Austin the first time around, so I couldn't judge him as I did Mike, Eric and Tyler.

"I'm not going to be in town, Austin." My voice softened a bit, not wanting to make this uncomfortable for him. He obviously wasn't used to asking girls out. I remembered suddenly that he was a friend of Ben's. That must be how he knows me, since Angela visited me in the hospital, according to Monster.

Ren had been kind enough to push forward the relationship between those two shy kids, so Angela wouldn't waste precious time on Eric.

"Oh, yeah, I guess I heard that." Excuse me? Are all boys the same?

"Then why ask me, Austin?" My voice was a bit colder this time, but only slightly. At least he wasn't as annoying as Tyler.

"I thought maybe you were just using it as an excuse to not go with Mike." He blushed and lowered his head.

"Sorry Austin," and I meant it, he seemed like a nice guy, "I really am going out of town."

Monster decided to save me, finally. "Yeah, she's going with me to look for new furniture, since I just moved here."

This seemed to lift his spirits a bit, learning that it was indeed not a lie, though I did hate to give him false hope. "Okay... I guess I'll see you around." He walked back to his car and got in.

I looked forward to see Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper all sliding into the Volvo. In his rear-view mirror, Edward's eyes were on me. This time there was no laughter, but the frustrated look was back. Aha. He thought I might be interested in Austin. This should be fun.

This time I definitely would've rammed his shiny car, if I had been in my truck that is. I don't think Monster would appreciate the ruin of her brand new, beloved Ferrari. Damn.

"Forget it Mom," Ren whispered, leaning over the console. How did she always seem to know what I was thinking?

After hanging out for a few hours at the cabin, Monster dropped me off at the house and I immediately started on dinner. Dad would be home soon. When we finally sat down to eat, I decided to approach him with my idea for the trip back to Seattle. I knew this time I wouldn't be going alone or in my truck, but I had just gotten out of the hospital and he worried.

"Dad?" I asked, when he was just about finished with the meal.

"Yeah, Bella?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to Seattle for the day, a week from Saturday... if that's okay?" I quickly added, feeling strange to be underage again.

"Why? You were just there?" He sounded surprised.

"No Dad, that was over a month ago. Besides, Vanessa needs to order some new furniture for her house and I need to get out of here for a day." I wasn't exactly lying, although I was secretly hoping that my plans would be changing tomorrow, as they had the last time.

"Well, I guess you can. That car of hers can probably handle the trip much better than your truck."

"Yeah, I know." I had yet to approach him with my plan to buy a new one. "Thanks Dad."

He smiled, but then seemed to remember something. "Will you be back in time for the dance?" I groaned under my breath. Why did Forks have to be so small?

"No, I don't dance Dad." He should know that by now.

"Oh, right." He said, face reddening in embarrassment.

The next morning, when Ren pulled into the parking lot, I deliberately made her park as far away as possible from the silver Volvo. I wanted to see how far he was willing to go, to keep up the strange conversations we had, while still attempting to push me away. Getting out of the car, I fumbled with my bag and almost dropped it into a deep puddle, when a white arm flashed out and caught it before it hit the water. I jerked upright, even though I was prepared for something like this happening and saw my husband standing there in front of me, holding my messenger bag.

"How do you do that?" I said, with a sly look. No need to be bitchy Bella right now.

"Do what?" He held out my bag as he spoke and I slowly took it from him, throwing the strap over my shoulder.

"Appear out of thin air."

"Bella, it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant." His voice was quiet as usual.

I scowled at his perfect face. I was becoming tired of this endless repeat of an old game and I wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms, confessing my undying love for him. Right.

"Why the traffic jam last night?" I asked, desperate to change the subject to anything menial, so as not to act on my wishes.

"That was for Austin's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance." He snickered.

I shook my head at him, in pretend disbelief. "I can't believe you did that." I stomped ahead of him, my emotions suddenly getting the better of me. I needed to get away from him, right now, before I did or said something that I would regret.

It was too soon for confessions.

"Wait," he called out, but I didn't stop. I couldn't. My head was spinning and I felt nauseous. I was not strong enough to handle this, as I had thought. "I'm sorry if I upset you, Bella, truly I am."

I couldn't help the words that spilled out of my mouth, although I wasn't sure I even meant them. "Why won't you leave me alone?" I mumbled under my breath, but of course he heard.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," he chuckled. There were the mood swings again. I still hadn't gotten used to them, even though we had been married for 75 years.

I spun around, shocking him. "Do you have a multiple personality disorder?" I demanded, at the end of my rope.

He sighed and ran a hand through his already unruly hair. "Bella. Please." He begged me with his eyes and my features softened, allowing him to go on. "I was wondering. I overheard you say you were going to Seattle next weekend... I know you're going with your friend..." I can't remember the last time he had such a hard time saying something.

"What are you asking me Edward?"

He shocked me, by looking straight into my eyes. At that instance, looking into the golden sea that was Edward, I realized something. Just because I had come back from the future, didn't mean that I was the only one struggling. Unaware of it, my changes to this time had ended up only frustrating him more than original. I had to make it right.

"Would you possibly be free that weekend?"

I wanted to ask him precisely what he meant, but was afraid of pushing him too far. So I took a deep breath and decided to be the one to take the first step, so to speak.

"I think I can rearrange my plans, maybe go with Vanessa this weekend, or the one in a a few weeks. What did you have in mind, Edward?" I made sure to say his name, since I knew he liked hearing it.

He stepped closer to me and I realized that I had been right in my earlier assumption. Thanks to almost no bitchy Bella this time around, he felt braver than usual. I could almost feel his breath on my face, as he reached his hands out in the air and I knew he wanted to touch me. He didn't though, instead he looked down for a second, before meeting my eyes again.

"Would you like to go to Seattle with me next weekend, Bella?"

There, he said it. He officially asked me out on a date. And as I answered him, I couldn't have been on a higher cloud.

"I'd love to." I was sure that my smile was blinding him.

He grinned that half smile that I loved so much and backed slowly away, nodding his head as if to assure himself that I had indeed just agreed. I laughed at his silly antics and walked towards my own building.

The butterflies in my stomach were multiplying, but at least I was finally getting somewhere.


	5. Savage State

**Full Summary;** Bella and Renesmee end up back in time to the first page in the _Twilight_ book, forced to live through everything for the second time in a row, at least for Bella. But maybe, together with the help of her daughter, she can make this time a whole lot better, for everyone involved. Except, of course, the bad guys. But fate can be a funny thing and perhaps doesn't like it when you mess around in its playground. Bella needs to be careful where she treads, if she's to succeed in her dangerous plans.

* * *

Savage State

* * *

 **Forks, Washington**  
 **March 3rd, 2005**

* * *

I made my way to English in a giddy daze and didn't even realize when I first walked in, that class had already begun.

"Thank you for joining us, Ms. Swan," Mr. Mason said, in a disparaging tone.

I hid my face behind my hair, so he wouldn't see my narrowed eyes. I was grateful, as I reached my seat, to see that Mike was no longer sitting next to me. I had already felt more than enough guilt the first time around and now, I was done. He just wasn't worth the trouble, which was a bit sad, since I sensed that he could be a good friend if he would just stop with the flirting.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. It was difficult to believe that Edward had actually said the words, asked me out, so early in my arrival. His eyes had looked so troubled and sad, that I couldn't wait to get this relationship underway. I wanted desperately to bring the light back.

As I walked towards the cafeteria with Monster, I quietly told her that she would be sitting with just Angela today, at least if what I thought would happen, happened. Just as I had predicted, I walked into the lunchroom, to see Edward sitting on his own, a few tables from my usual one. I smiled and made my way to the line to get some food. In a few minutes, I was once more standing in front of him, behind the empty chair across from him.

"Why don't you sit with me today?" he asked, smiling.

"This is nice," I finally said, after taking my seat.

"Well..." He paused and then the rest of the words followed in a rush. "I decided that as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."

I was shocked by his words. At this point, the second time around, he had not done much to give away his inhuman nature and abilities, so why this confession? I could almost feel his frustration and realized suddenly that it didn't solely have to do with my mute mind. He wanted me to know what he was, he didn't want to keep pretending and he probably also wanted to find out how I would react to his Vampiric state.

"You know, that is a strange thing to say," I eventually pointed out.

"I know." He smiled again and then he changed the subject. "I think your friends are confused that you're sitting here, with me." He laughed shortly.

I turned around and saw Angela's frown and furrowed eyebrows. I hadn't had much interaction with Edward, so I understood where she was coming from. Monster, however, was faking her expression, since it was one that her father was expecting from someone who didn't know the truth. Or could easily hear our conversation.

She must be thrilled, to actually be a part of our beginning and not just hearing a story.

"Yes, well, they aren't the only ones," I hinted with a small smile.

"I wanted to get to know you, is that so terrible?" He was still smiling, but it had an edge. As if he was doing something he wasn't supposed to.

"I suppose not."

"You look worried." He laughed.

"No," I said, honestly, "Surprised, actually... what brought this on?"

"I told you. I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." He was still smiling, but his ocher eyes were serious.

"Giving up?" I repeated in partial mock confusion. A part of me truly did not understand.

"Yes. Giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now and let the chips fall where they may." His smiled faded as he explained and a hard edge crept into his voice.

Suddenly, my breath caught. A memory popped into my head, of a conversation I had once had with my husband. He told me that the night before this talk, was when he finally admitted fully to himself, that he loved me with all that he was and ever will be.

This was the moment I had been waiting for, how could I not have seen it?

"So, in plain English, are we friends now?"

"Friends..." he mused, dubious.

I knew better than to question his meaning now and instead I smiled, with my whole face. I leaned in over the table and decided to be a bit bold. "Yes, I know. It doesn't seem like a strong enough word, does it." I quenched the urge to wink at him, but kept the smile in place.

He looked shocked for a moment and then his own beautiful smile, spread across his face. I looked in his eyes and saw it. The light wasn't fully there yet, but I could see the starting glint. Finally, I was doing something right.

Then the smile slowly faded. "You really should stay away from me." Oh for crying out loud.

"You say that a lot," I pointed out, trying to ignore the sudden trembling in my stomach, as I clenched my fists in slight anger under the table.

"Yes, because you're not listening to me. I'm still waiting for you to believe it. If you're smart, you'll avoid me."

I narrowed my eyes and decided to slightly reuse my old line. "Apparently my intelligence is somewhat lacking in your eyes."

He apologized with his eyes. I chose to give him a break, knowing that this couldn't possibly be easy for him. Throwing his entire being, everything he was, away, for a feeling he had never felt before. For love.

"So, as long as I'm being... not smart, we'll be friends?" This time, I did wink, as the word friends slipped off my tongue.

"That sounds about right," he said, in a strangely mischievous tone.

I looked down at my hands, wrapped around the lemonade bottle, not sure where to go from here. Although I couldn't help the soft snort escaping my lips, when I looked at the lid. It didn't look as worn as the one my husband kept in a box, in our room, but I knew it was the same. The one that inspired him to continue with my lullaby. That thought brought a serene smile, to follow the snort.

"What are you thinking?" he asked curiously. The frustration was back, but had somewhat lessened.

"I'm trying to figure you out." I said, deliberately changing my words so as not to ruin the mood we had going for us right now.

I had apparently done the right thing, because his smile only fell a tiny bit and there was a small smile in his voice when he spoke. "And are you having any luck with that?"

"Not too much," I admitted and it was true in many ways. For however long we may have been married, I don't think I could ever truly figure him out. The mystery was a part of why I loved him, though.

"What _have_ you decided, then?" He said, a hint of laughter in his topaz orbs.

"Well," I started, wondering if he really wanted to hear how I saw him, "I think that you're hiding the real you, behind some facade you feel the need to put on." Before he could protest, I kept going. "I know that you're smart, but more so than what you show in class. You're beautiful, but not aware of it and so you're not conceited. You're kind, passionate and pleasant to be around." The shocked look was back, but when he still hadn't spoken after several minutes, I decided to turn the tables on him. "What are you thinking?" I asked him, heavy on the irony.

"I can't seem to figure you out, either." He said, the frustrated tone back in his voice. I bit back the urge to smirk. The first time around, he had told me that he was good at reading people, but I knew now how to hide my true emotions on my face.

I laughed out loud, letting my head fall back. "Well, it seems we found something we have in common." I smiled wryly.

Suddenly, his mood changed, though not too severely. He looked... smug. "Your boyfriend seems to think that I'm moving in on his territory. He's debating whether or not to come break us apart." He snickered at the end.

"I don't know who you're talking about," I said, with a smile that defied my words, "but I'm sure you're right." I rolled my eyes to show him my annoyance at the attention.

Now that I knew he had realized his feelings for me, I had no more need for Mike. No more need to try and force the feelings on the table, by way of jealousy.

"I most certainly am," he chuckled, "I told you, I'm good at reading people."

"Except me, of course." I smiled, thankful once again for his inability to get into my head.

"Yes. Except for you." His mood shifted suddenly; his eyes turned brooding. "I wonder why that is."

I had to look away from the intensity of his stare, lest he find out my real reasons for wanting my mind to stay mute. I concentrated on unscrewing the infamous lid of my lemonade, taking a swig and staring at the table without really seeing it.

"Aren't you hungry?" He asked, curiosity in his voice. It had been so long, he had forgotten how often humans had to eat.

"No." I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full... of butterflies. "You?" I said, hoping that my face didn't betray my knowledge.

"No, I'm not hungry." I tried hard not to laugh at his obvious private joke.

I was hit with a sudden burst of inspiration. "Can you do me a favor?"

"That depends on what you want." He said, he voice suddenly wary.

"It's not much," I assured him, "I just wondered... if you could warn me beforehand, the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good. Just so I'm prepared." I didn't have to work hard to make my voice sad, as I looked down at my lemonade bottle, tracing the circle of the opening with my pinkie finger.

Suddenly I saw a shadow move over the table as he leaned in, putting his index finger under my chin and pulling my eyes up to meet his. "That sounds fair," his voice was soft and his eyes slightly sad.

"Thanks." I breathed out, in a mere whisper.

"Then can I have one answer in return?" he demanded, though his voice was softer than Mike's had been yesterday.

I knew better this time than to give him an open ended response. "That depends on what you want." I mockingly mimicked his earlier reply, though my smile took the sting out.

"Tell me..." he hesitated and I could see a wariness in his eyes, "who your friend is."

Oh crap.

Could it be? Had he somehow figured it out? No, I didn't believe that, he was just suspicious and why shouldn't he be.

Monster had a scent unlike any other. Not human, not vampire and certainly not shape-shifter. Her heart beat faster than the average human, regardless of adrenaline or not. And then I wondered if maybe she wasn't as good at hiding her thoughts as she had made me believe. How was I suppose to answer this?

"I don't know what you mean, Edward." I stressed his name, hoping he wouldn't see through the lie. "I met Vanessa in Phoenix, we grew up together." Almost true, she did grow up with me.

He leaned slowly back in his seat, testing me out. Looked deeply into my eyes, searching for something to prove or disprove my words. I have no idea what he found, because he changed the subject.

"You should get to class," he said and a second later the bell rang. Show-off.

"I'm not going to class today," I said, mentally grinning at the fact that I was narrating his part of the original conversation.

"Why not?" He asked, genuinely intrigued.

"It's healthy to ditch class now and then." I smiled at him and continued. "What about you?"

"I think... I'd have to agree with you on that." He gracefully stood up from his chair and surprisingly, held out his hand for me to take. Oh and he wasn't wearing gloves.

"Where are we going?" I asked, truly interested. This was brand new territory, for the both of us.

He simply looked back at me and smiled. As we walked toward the cafeteria doors, he thought I didn't notice him putting my bottle lid in his pocket. I swallowed a laugh and allowed myself to enjoy the feel of his hand in mine. Finally.

Before I knew it, we were outside in the parking lot and he pulled me towards the Volvo. I wondered if he was planning on going somewhere or just sitting in his car. Perhaps he wanted to try to desensitize himself to my blood, as he had originally. When we reached the vehicle, he dropped my hand, told me to wait for a few minutes and then made his way towards the office.

As the door shut behind him, I finally let out a small laugh. He was going to get us out of both Biology and Gym, so we could have more time together.

I pulled my jacket tighter around me, as it was getting a bit chilly, the cool air biting at my cheeks. I leaned up against the bumper of the Volvo, thinking that we had finally come to the first defining moment in our relationship, this second time around. My smile wouldn't drop, even as I heard the crunch of snow under heavy boots, as Edward made his way back to me. I looked up to see that gorgeous crooked smile on his lips, as he put a cool hand on the small of my back and leaded me to the passenger seat. Where he, of course, opened the door for me, as the gentleman that he was.

I waited for him to get in as well, since he was still pretending to be human around me. After the heater had been started and he had surreptitiously rolled part of his window down, he backed out of the lot and drove down the long winding road. I had no idea where we were going and I didn't care.

"So," he finally broke the silence in the car, "how come you decided to ditch class today?" He asked, curiosity coating his soft voice.

"Blood typing." I said simply, not quite able to stop the cringe from showing on my face.

"So you don't like blood?" He asked, amusement clear in his tone.

"It smells like rust and salt." And I used to live off of it.

"People can't smell blood," he contradicted.

"Well, I can. It makes me sick, literally." I made an euch face, I was sure.

When he didn't say anything for a while, I looked to the side to see him staring at me with an unfathomable expression.

Once again, I decided to turn the tables on him. Don't ask me why, but sometimes I enjoyed watching him squirm.

"How about you? Why did you ditch?" I asked, hiding my smile again.

He sighed and I could tell he was struggling with whether or not to tell me the truth. "I wanted... to spend time with you. Alone." It sounded like he was confessing to a crime, but I suppose in his eyes he was. He saw being along with me as extremely dangerous. For me, those words started a strange tingle in me, that spread quickly out into every pore.

"You make it sound dirty," I laughed, trying to dispel the grim mood and bring the laughter back, "as if it's wrong. Edward," I felt the urge to pull at his chin, to force the eye contact, "there is nothing wrong with want. Why can't you see that?" I whispered the last part.

He was looking down and I was too distracted to realize that any sane human, would be telling him to keep his eyes on the road. "You don't see me the way you should, Bella." He whispered so low, that I barely heard him.

I huffed out my indignation. "You're doing it again, Edward." My slightly angered tone finally brought his eyes back to mine. "Trying to get me to stay away from you. It won't work. It's too late." This time he did not deny my words, though his face was filled with pained shock.

Neither of us spoke for several minutes and I was becoming very uncomfortable. I reached forward to turn on the radio, knowing that the song that would come on, would bring a new subject on the table for us. And hopefully change the atmosphere to a lighter one. I fiddled with the controls, turning the heater up a bit and the music down, so it could still be heard and yet we could still talk. I smiled at the recognition, even though I knew it was coming.

"Clair de Lune." I stated, caught in a blissful memory of my husband playing it on the grand in the living room.

"You know Debussy?" He finally found his voice, now hinted with a touch of surprise.

"Not well," I admitted. "My mother plays a lot of classical music around the house. I only know my favorites." Like the lullaby you wrote me.

"It's one of my favorites, too." He stared out through the rain, lost in thought.

I listened to the music, relaxing against the light gray leather seat. It was impossible not to respond to the familiar, soothing melody. The rain blurred everything outside the window into gray and green smudges. I began to realize that we were heading for my house. Apparently the alone time had become too much for him, whether it be my words or my scent.

"What is your mother like?" He asked me suddenly, though I should've been expecting it.

Having gained an abundance of confidence in the years I had spent with Rose, Alice, Esme and the Denali sisters, my answer changed this time. I thought my mother was a beautiful woman, but I now knew better than to compare myself to her. We were far too different for that and I had been wrong in my first assessment of this question. I didn't look like Renee, I looked like Dad, through and through.

"She looks like me, though her eyes are blue and her hair a bit lighter." I started, continuing softly. I really did miss her.

"She's outgoing and brave, irresponsible and slightly eccentric. She's..." I didn't know how to go on, without tearing up.

"How old are you, Bella?" And that was the crux of it, wasn't it?

"I'm seventeen," I responded, hoping to come off as sincere as possible.

"You don't seem seventeen." His tone was reproachful, more so than the last time. I did not laugh this time. I knew he was suspicious of me and I didn't blame him. But it just wasn't time yet.

"My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and I that I get more middle-aged every year." I sighed, in a depressing tone. "Well, someone has to be the adult." I paused for a second. "You don't seem much like a junior in high school yourself." I pointed out, trying to make him see that I wasn't the only one with secrets. It wasn't fair of him to judge me of something that he was doing as well.

He made a face and changed the subject. "So, why did your mother marry Phil?"

"My mother... she's very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. At any rate, she's crazy about him." I smiled and shook my head. Phil was a good man. He had stayed with her right up until the very end, through the chemo and the medical bills and the verdict from the doctors that she could not be saved. He never remarried again, until he himself died of old age.

"Do you approve?" He asked.

"Yes. He makes her happy and he really is good for her." I voiced my previous thoughts.

"That's very kind of you, to be so accepting... I wonder," he mused and I knew what was coming up.

"What?"

"Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?" His eyes became intent, searching mine.

I thought back to how perceptive Renee had been, when I visited her in Florida with Edward. And then again at the wedding. "Yes. She would want that same happiness for me, regardless of who it came from." I said, looking directly into his eyes as I spoke.

"So, now are you going to tell me about your family?" I asked, to distract him from the seriousness of my former words.

"It's got to be a much more interesting story than mine."

He was instantly cautious. "What do you want to know?"

My voice was just a whisper. I didn't want to waste time on questions I had asked the first time. "Do you remember your real parents?" I had asked this question before, but for some reason I wanted him to know, that I was interested in every aspect of his existence.

"Not really, not... clearly. Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now."

"And you love them." I wasn't a question. Not the first time and definitely not now. They were my parents too and God how I missed them.

"Yes," he smiled, "I couldn't imagine two better people."

"You're very lucky" I stated.

"I know I am."

The mood was becoming increasingly depressing and I knew I had to give him an out. There would be time for talking on Monday, since I knew he was going hunting with Emmett tomorrow. I sighed inwardly, desperate for the conversation to keep going, but also knowing that it couldn't. Besides, any minute now, Dad would be home and I didn't want him to ask too many questions just yet.

"And your brother and sister?" As expected, he glanced at the clock on the dashboard.

"My brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain, waiting for me."

"I guess you have to go." I said sadly. I missed him already.

"And you probably want to get inside, before Chief Swan gets home, so you don't have to tell him that you ditched." He grinned at me.

"I'm sure he's already heard. There are no secrets in Forks." I sighed, an extra ounce of irony this time around. He laughed, but there was an obvious edge to it.

"Have fun at the beach... good weather for sunbathing." I didn't call him on the knowledge of the trip, since it had been moved up a later date, from when Edward overheard my talk with Mike.

"You ditching tomorrow as well." I gently teased him, knowing the truth.

"Yes. Emmett and I are starting the weekend early."

"Well," I refrained from asking what he was doing, wanting to keep the mood light, "have fun." I prepared to exit the car, slower than usual since I hoped the last part of the day would stay the same as last time.

"Will you do something for me this weekend?" He turned to look me straight in the face, utilizing the full power of his burning gold eyes. I simply nodded, unable to speak. "Don't be offended, it's not that I don't think you can take care of yourself. But... try to stay safe. If anything happened to you again..." I knew he was referring to the car accident and instead of becoming indignant this time, I simply smiled at him softly.

"I'll see what I can do," I teased him, though with an ounce of seriousness in my voice. I exited the car and ran quickly for shelter from the rain, under the porch. I turned to give him a small wave and he returned it with a smile.

Then within less than a second, he was gone.

I turned around, walked through the door and hung up my coat. I could hear the violent raps of the raindrops on the roof, feeling glad that I was no longer a little girl, afraid of the storm. I moved into the kitchen, to make myself a quick snack, since all I had for lunch was a bottle of lemonade. I made a simple sandwich, not in the mood for more and went upstairs to do some homework.

It couldn't have been more than a half hour later, when I heard the telltale sign of the cruiser pulling into the driveway. I closed my book, remembering what part I was at and then ran down to welcome him. I was not prepared for what I found.

As I looked out over the yard, I saw Dad moving around the car and opening the passenger side door. Out stepped Renee and suddenly I remembered what I'd been told in the hospital. That she would be flying out one of these days. I wonder why Dad hadn't said anything this morning. Did he not know then?

I opened the door for them, when Dad came up the porch carrying Mom's luggage and I felt a strange sort of tension. Not the usual kind, between my two parents. This one almost seemed to be between me, and then them. I realized why, when Dad opened his mouth, finally.

He crossed his arms over his chest and gave me the full extent of his Chief stare. "Bella." He sounded more than angry, he sounded pissed off. "I'm going to ask you a question and you better tell me the truth this time." What had I done?

"Who is Vanessa Wolfe?" Oh...

I looked at Mom and saw a disappointed and slightly confused look on her face. I bit my lip to keep from sobbing, so hard that I drew blood. How was I possibly going to explain this? I tried desperately not to break down, as I racked my

brain for an answer, any answer. None came and they were becoming increasingly impatient.

"Well?" I turned my eyes to Dad and then I completely lost it.

I fell to the floor in agony, my nails digging into the wood, as helpless tears ran down my cheeks in furious rivers. I sobbed out in searing pain, choking on my own tongue and shaking with every part of my body. I had not felt this intense anguish since Edward had left me in the woods and yet at the same time, the two couldn't compare.

I had already lost my parents physically, I could not lose them emotionally as well.

"Please," I cried out, the red hot poker of despair blinding my eyes, "I'm so sorry..." I couldn't take it anymore and I fell completely to the floor, my entire body shivering as I stared up into nothing.

Why couldn't I make them understand?

Suddenly the sensation of floating took over and the small part of my mind that was still active without pain, realized that I was being carried. Dad has his arms around me and was whispering soothing words softly into my ear. I felt Mom walking behind him, sobbing herself, as Dad slowly put me down on my bed and began stroking my hair gently.

"I'm sorry honey," he whispered, "that I yelled at you. I was a bit tense. I know that there is probably a good excuse for this. Please, calm down." I felt the bed dip, as Mom sat down on my other side, running her hand down my arm.

"Yes, your father's right, sweetheart. We can talk about this, calmly, in the morning, but for now you need to relax. We both love you so much and didn't mean to hurt you in any way." She soothed.

I tried to take in their comforting words, letting them flow into my being and calm me down. Finally, the sobbing stopped long enough for me to get my breathing back under control and I felt my whole body slowly relax. Not long after I had come back to the room, I felt the utter exhaustion taking me over. Within seconds, I was out cold.

* * *

 **Forks, Washington**  
 **March 4th, 2005**

* * *

The clock blinked big red numbers, as I woke up in the dark. _02:34_. A figure moved in the corner and at first I thought that it might be Edward, but there was no way he would let me see him so obviously, so I quickly ruled that out. Then the shadow stepped into the light of the moon, after seeing me awake and I looked into the bloodshot eyes of my father.

"Dad," I croaked out, reaching for his hand. I clearly remembered what had happened, before I fell into sleep.

He came over slowly, sitting on the right side of my bed. He went back to his behavior before I had fallen asleep, stroking my hair and almost choking on his emotions. I felt instantly horrible, once more. Not only had I kept important secrets from him, but I had also worried and scared him, when he confronted me with said secret.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," The sobbing was back and I suddenly felt like a little girl, wanting her parents forgiveness.

"Shh, Bells. I need you to calm down." He whispered and pulled me into his arms.

I did as he said, knowing that this wouldn't help me in trying to convince him of my maturity. I needed to find a way for him to get Renee back home, because there was no way that she could handle the truth. Dad, however, was a different story.

"Dad," I said, in a low voice, waiting for him to lean in, "I will tell you everything that I know, the whole truth, I promise. But," he seemed less than pleased by the fact that I had demands, "first you have to get Mom back home." When I saw him start to protest, I continued, my eyes deadly serious. "She will never understand what I have to say. Never. It's better if she doesn't know."

He leaned back so he sat straight up and seemed to chew over my words. He knew Mom almost as well as I did, especially since I knew she hadn't changed much since they were married. He knew that underneath the eccentric nature, lay a very insecure woman who had to have things a certain way. A world of vampires, shape-shifters and hybrid children would be too far beyond her. But I already knew that Dad could handle it.

"Alright, honey," he finally conceded, "I'll do what I can. Now why don't you get some more sleep?" He patted my head and left the room.

I knew I wouldn't be getting any more rest now, so I quietly slipped out of my room when I knew Dad was back in bed and down the stairs. I quickly checked in on Mom, sleeping on the couch and then tiptoed into the kitchen, picking up the phone and dialing. I could really have used a cordless right now, but I guess I had to just accept my limitations at the moment. It rang two times only, so apparently she wasn't sleeping tonight. I'm glad I didn't wake her up.

"Ren? Come over, now." I said and then hurriedly hung up, when I heard Mom shifting in bed.

"Honey, is that you?" She called out sleepily.

I stood completely still against the counter and kept my breathing calm and low. I hated that I had to hide from her, but until I could come up with a good explanation, meaning a good lie, I couldn't face her. I didn't want to break down again and accidentally tell her everything.

When I knew she was back to sleep, I crept back up into my room and waited for my daughter. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long and ten minutes after I had gotten back under the covers, she flew up the tree and in through my window. As she came to sit beside me, I quickly filled her in on all that had happened, although without mentioning my breakdown.

There really was no need to upset her further.

"So," she said, sounding excited, "I get to tell Grandpa who I am?" She smiled.

I got why she was ecstatic, really I did, but it wasn't time for joy just yet. Though Dad had taken it fairly well the first time, we had no idea how he would handle it now. Especially since now, there was no pressure for him to take it okay, or he wouldn't ever see me again, as it had been then. I was extremely worried about his upcoming reaction and knew I needed to draw it out, so I could find a decent and calm way to tell it.

But I wouldn't lie to him, not again.

"You can't be there when I tell him, honey. I need to get his full attention and besides, you are the reason he was so upset with me. It might not help anything, if you show up. But, I'll call you once he knows everything, okay?" I really needed her to understand this.

She pouted slightly, but since she was mimicking her aunt and not her father, I knew she didn't really mean it. I gave her the biggest smile I could handle right now and pulled her into my arms. Then, my door suddenly opened and there stood Dad. Oops.

"What's going on in here?" His face was back to registering anger.

"Eh Dad..." I had no idea what to say. Monster had a deer-in-headlights look on her face, as well.

He sighed deeply and pinched himself in the forehead. "You've got school tomorrow and then the beach trip on Saturday. I want to know everything on Sunday, is that clear Isabella?"

I could only nod as he asserted his authority. I wondered how he would react to the knowledge that I'm older than him?

Not by much, of course, but still. Weird, right?

He nodded, looked at Ren again, shook his head and then left the room. Suddenly, I couldn't keep it in anymore and I watched as Monster looked at me like I had gone insane, as I began to giggle uncontrollably. The whole situation was just so unreal and I couldn't believe that of all the things I had expected, this wasn't one of them. I knew our fake story of Vanessa had been weak at best, but it had been last minute. And then, when everything with Edward and my coma had happened, neither of us had considered refining the tale.

And this was the outcome.

When morning came, the laughter was long over and Monster was sleeping softly. I lay beside her, rubbing her back and singing to her sweetly. I knew I wasn't her father, but I guess it was close enough. I hummed Esme's song, my lullaby and the melodies Edward had written with our daughter in mind. Those were her favorites, of course. I heard movement downstairs and looked at the clock. _06:38_. I guess Mom was up, since I hadn't heard Dad's door open. Of course, he hadn't gotten as much sleep as her either.

I gently untangled myself from my daughter, quickly put on some warmer clothes and left the room. Before going downstairs, I made a small detour to Dad's room, so he wouldn't be late for work. I told him not to worry about Mom, I would take care of anything. He seemed relieved that he wouldn't have to be the one lying to her. Lucky bastard.

With that, I went back into my room.

I was stalling, I knew, as I stood under the no longer calming spray of the shower. I needed time to think. Not about the story, since Ren and I had already worked that out in the early hours of the morning, but I needed to prepare myself.

Before moving to Forks, both times, I had never once lied to Mom. I think we've already established that I was never your average teenager and besides, she was my best friend. This, what was happening now? It did not make me feel good.

Unfortunately, it was necessary.

I stood in front of the mirror, towel wrapped around my body and looked at my reflection. I had done this when I first came as well, but I could see how many things had changed.

I looked so... tired. There was no better word for it and I knew that it had nothing to do with the little sleep I had gotten last night. It did, however, have everything to do with my situation. If I looked closely, I could see the ninety-three year old woman gazing back at me. My age was in my eyes and the maturity showed. No matter how much I pretended to be a teenager again, I couldn't fool myself.

I just hoped I could fool Mom.

I breathed deeply, sighing, knowing I couldn't stall any longer. I went back into my room, barely noticed the empty bed that told me that Monster had left, and walked to my closet. She would be back soon, to pick me up for school. I hardly looked, as I picked out my clothes, put them on, brushed my hair into an untidy bun and then made my way downstairs and into the kitchen, where Mom was waiting with a steaming cup of coffee.

"That looks nice, is it new?" She commented, gesturing to my pale blue shirt.

"Uh, yes. I bought it in Seattle about a month ago. I haven't had a chance to wear it yet." At that comment, her calm mask fell.

"Oh honey," she said, coming over to embrace me, "I was so worried about you. You wouldn't wake up to tell me that you were okay." She cried out.

I patted her on the back, feeling strangely uncomfortable at the moment. I was used to her emotional displays, but I already had so much on my mind, that this just became too much. I gently pushed her away and we sat down across from each other at the table. I knew that in order to get this out, I needed to get my thoughts sorted and so I started off easy.

"How's Phil?" I nudged softly. I enjoyed the smile these words made.

"He's doing good, we both are. He's in talks with the _Suns_ , which would mean moving to Florida, but we're both actually very excited about it. We'll see how it goes." She smiled.

I knew exactly how it would go and knew that she would be very happy there.

"That sounds great Mom, I'm very happy for you. What about you, how are the kids?" Mom was a kindergarten teacher in Phoenix.

"Oh they're just great. Timmy's parents just got divorced though, so I'm keeping an extra eye on him. Samantha actually drew you another picture, but I forgot to bring it with me." She frowned.

"That's okay Mom, you can bring it some other time. You'll give them my love, wont you?" I smiled. I really did care about those cuties. Samantha always drew me pictures and they all knew who I was, the moment I stepped in the door.

"Of course, honey." Her smile was back. "Charlie told me about buying you a car? That was very nice of him. Are you happy with it?"

"Yes, it's great and it fits me so well, you know. Sturdy, old and solid." I smiled. I really did love my truck, it was just too slow for the me I had become over the years.

"That's nice." She smiled, but it fell slightly and I knew that it was time. I only thanked whatever entity was responsible for Mom, being unable to scold properly. Even if I did deserve it. "Honey," she began, slight anger in her voice, though nothing compared to Dad, "Why would you lie to everyone, including me and your father, about your relationship with this girl?" Before I could answer, she continued. "I mean, I met her and she seems very nice, a good friend, which is exactly why I don't understand."

Now for the lie, even if that thought put my stomach in turmoil. "It's a little embarrassing Mom. I was afraid that you wouldn't approve, Dad either." I waited until I knew I had her undivided attention. "You see, I did meet Vanessa in Phoenix, but it was on the internet. We had talked for a while on the web and when we both moved to Forks, we had never actually met before. I didn't want you guys to worry too much and I know that Dad always warned me about how people can lie online. Can you understand me, even just a little bit?"

She answered immediately. "Of course I understand, honey," and then she frowned, "but what I don't get is why you reacted the way you did last night. I was so worried, sweetheart."

This time, I wouldn't have to lie. "Mom, I have never lied to you before in my life and knowing that you were aware of it, made me feel really horrible. I hated that I did that to you, and Dad. I'm so sorry."

"Oh, honey," she got off her chair and walked to me, putting her arms around me in a kneeling position.

I couldn't stop the tears this time and didn't want to.

I heard the creak of wood behind me and knew Dad was up. He just waited for the emotional display to finish, of course and then made his presence known. The tension was back, but this time it was coming from my parents and Mom quickly excused herself to go make her bed back into a sofa. When she was out of earshot, Dad sat down opposite me in her seat and gave me a hard look.

"Not only do I expect a good explanation on Sunday, but you also better have a damn good reason for lying to your mother, Bells." I knew he threw the last nickname on, to show me that his anger wasn't as bad as he made it out to be.

"Now," he stood up again, "I have to get to work. Don't worry, I'll get some breakfast on the way. I'll see you after school." He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, said goodbye to Mom and then left.

I began to prepare some food for the both of us, wanting to occupy my hands and in turn thoughts, until I could be alone to process them properly. I didn't know when Mom would be going back to Phoenix, but I didn't want to ask in case she thought that I was trying to get rid of her.

A knock came on the door, half an hour later, when I was rinsing out the plates and silverware. Mom went to get it and when she walked back into the kitchen, it was with Monster in tow.

"Look who I found outside." She said, her smile genuine now that she thought she had the truth. "Vanessa," she turned to her granddaughter, "I'm very happy that you're here for Bella and you seem like a good friend. But," I knew that was coming, "I want you both to be honest from now on. I understand that you met in an unconventional way, but don't hide that. Okay?"

Ren just nodded and tried to appear completely innocent. She was a bit emotional at the moment, I knew, since this was only the third or fourth time she had seen her grandmother, in the last couple of weeks. I saw tears fill her eyes and quickly grabbed Mom's attention, so she wouldn't catch on.

If she didn't go home soon, this was going to be exhausting.

I said goodbye to Mom, with a promise to come straight home after school and then followed Monster outside and into the Ferrari. I couldn't even look forward to classes today, since there would be no Edward, but at least it got me out of the house. I still needed to find the best way to tell Dad on Sunday.

I had a feeling that things were about to get very interesting.


	6. Enlightened Encounters

**Enlightened Encounters**

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
March 4th, 2005**

* * *

"So, what did Edward Cullen want yesterday?" Jessica asked in Trig.

Oh, so now she was talking to me again?

"I don't know," I answered, "he never really got to the point."

"You certainly looked like you were enjoying yourself," she somewhat accused.

"Did I?" I kept my expression blank.

"You know, I've never seen him sit with anyone but his family before. That was weird."

"Weird," I agreed, keeping up the pretense. She seemed annoyed, flipping her dark curls impatiently. I knew she'd been hoping to hear something that would make a good story for her to pass on. She'd have to wait a long time for that.

When I walked into the cafeteria with Monster and Angela, I couldn't keep from looking at his table, where Rosalie, Alice and Jasper sat talking, heads close together. And I couldn't stop the gloom that engulfed me, as I realized that I wouldn't get to see him until Wednesday, since the start of the week would be sunny. Even if the stalker would see me before then.

At my usual table, we had been joined by Mike, as he discussed the upcoming trip to First Beach. He seemed to put a great deal of trust in the local weatherman who promised sun tomorrow, as he spoke in an animated tone. I, of course, knew that the sun would in fact peek itself out, but still couldn't find the joy. The only thing I was looking forward to tomorrow, was seeing my best friend and son-in-law again.

Although I had yet to tell Monster that part.

The rest of the day passed by in a quick haze and without Edward here, it wasn't really worth mentioning. That night at dinner, Dad was overly enthusiastic about my trip to La Push, probably trying to change the solemn mood. After we had finished eating, I said goodbye to Mom with a tight hug and waved, as Dad drove away with her in the cruiser. He would be back in a couple of hours, since he was driving her to Port Angeles.

I truly did mean to sleep in this time, but the unusual brightness woke me up. I opened my eyes to see the clear yellow light streaming through my window. I threw off the covers and with an expectant smile, walked over and pushed the curtains aside. Just as I had predicted, there was the sun. It was in the wrong place in the sky, too low and it didn't seem to be as close as it should be, but it was there. Clouds ringed the horizon, but a large patch of blue was visible in the middle. I lingered by the window for a little while, enjoying the warm day.

I was just getting out of the shower, when I heard the honk of the hot pink Ferrari, outside my house. I rolled my eyes and ran downstairs in my towel, letting Monster and Angela in. I told them to just chill for a moment on the couch, while I got ready. Since they had gotten here earlier than planned, I was not going to rush just to please them. We wouldn't be meeting Mike and the others at the store this time, so we could show up whenever we felt like. I hated being dependent on others.

I didn't bother doing anything special with my hair, simply throwing it up into a high ponytail. I grabbed my brand new, white lace shorts, paired it with a white, long sleeved shirt and topped it off with a tan hide, slightly long vest. I had the matching boots, but they wouldn't do very well on sand. All in all, it was an outfit that would make Alice proud, I thought with a smile, before I ran back downstairs.

"Okay, I'm ready," I smiled. Angela and Ren were sitting on the couch, talking quietly.

"Great, let's go," Monster jumped up and practically pushed the both of us out the door and into her car.

Wow, I wonder how she would've acted if she actually knew that she would finally be seeing her husband again?

We all piled into the Ferrari and sped off towards La Push. Monster needed no directions, since it was the place that held her second home. Or I guess third, if you count the Cullen place. Angela was very animated during the trip and I wondered if maybe she wasn't as shy as she made herself out to be. Perhaps she just needed to surround herself with true friends, who made her feel comfortable in her own skin, in order to let herself be free.

It felt good to be one of those friends.

"So," Angela turned to me, as she was in the middle this time, "Vanessa says that you guys are going to Olympia tomorrow, to look for a car? I thought your Dad got you one when you moved here?" She inquired kindly.

"Yeah, he did," I answered, "but it's just not working for me, I guess. It's so slow," I whined, getting a laugh out of her.

"I know what you mean. Ever since I rode with you guys to Seattle, my own car seems pretty meek in comparison," she smiled back and then the conversation was started, lasting the rest of the trip.

As Ren parked on the sand, I recognized Mike's Suburban and Tyler's Chevrolet. I could see the group standing around a bonfire, as the three of us got out of the car and made our way across the dirt. Eric was there, standing with Ben and Conner. Jessica sat on a log with Lauren and Katie Marshall. They all gave us dirty looks, whispering amongst themselves. I knew they had a problem with Ren because of her outburst, and me because of Edward's attention, but Angela? Probably something as simple as the fact that she was choosing us over them. Conceited much?

Mike still hadn't learned, as he came running up the moment he spotted me. "You came!" he called, delighted. "And I said it would be sunny today, didn't I?"

"I told you I was coming," I reminded him, a bit sourly.

"Yeah, but still.." he said and I had a feeling he was thinking of Edward at that moment, "anyways, come on over." He gestured to me, completely ignoring my daughter and Angela. Jerk.

Not wanting to risk him making a scene I followed as he said, being sure to wait for my friends. I knew Jake wouldn't show up for a while and so I decided to wait until later, to pull Monster aside and tell her what was going to happen. As good an actress as she had become, it would be better not to shock her. She might make a mistake that we just can't afford.

I let Mike make introductions, even if I already knew all the names since I saw them everyday, slightly ignoring him and looking out over the beach. The view was still as breathtaking as the last time I had been here. The water was dark gray, even in the sunlight, white-capped and heaving to the rocky shore. Islands rose out of the steel harbor waters with sheer cliff sides, reaching to uneven summits and crowned with austere, soaring firs.

The beach had only a thin border of actual sand at the water's edge, after which it grew into millions of large, smooth stones that looked uniformly gray from a distance, but close up were every shade a stone could be. Terra-cotta, sea green, lavender, blue gray, dull gold. The tide line was strewn with huge driftwood trees, bleached bone white in the salt waves, some piled together against the edge of the forest fringe, some lying solitary just out of reach of the waves.

There was a brisk wind coming off the waves, cool and briny. Pelicans floated on the swells while seagulls and a lone eagle wheeled above them. The clouds still circled the sky, threatening to invade at any moment, but for now, the sun shone bravely in it's halo of blue sky.

I tuned back into the conversation at the end and followed the others down to the bonfire. Mike tried to show me the driftwood fire, but I successfully avoided his attempts, by pushing the attention on to Jessica. She was more than happy to take over. I sat directly across from them, in between Ren and Angela, who brought me into their own conversation as I got seated.

After a half hour of chatter, some of the boys wanted to hike to the nearby tidal pools, but this time there was no dilemma.

Angela stayed behind with Ben, while I convinced Monster to walk with me, a few meters behind the others. Jacob would be arriving soon and this would be the only time I had, before then, to tell her as much as I felt was necessary.

We stayed quiet on the hike, enjoying the sight of the green light of the forest and the sun still peeking through the dark clouds. Eventually we broke through the emerald confines of the forest and found the rocky shore again. It was low tide and a tidal river flowed past us on it's way to the sea. Along its pebbled banks, shallow pools that never completely drained, were teeming with life.

While the others were fearlessly leaping over rocks and perching precariously on the edges, I took Monster's arm and we walked to the side, to have some privacy. I found a very stable-looking rock on the fringe of one of the largest pools and sat there cautiously, joined quickly by Ren. The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current, twisted shells scurried about the edges, obscuring the crabs within them, starfish struck motionless to the rocks and each other, while one small black eel with white racing stripes, wove through the bright green weeds, waiting for the sea to return.

"I can feel that you want to talk to me, Mom." Monster whispered softly in my ear, a hand on my arm.

"Hmm," I replied, trying to find the best way to start, "you're right. I guess I just don't know how to say it."

"Just let it out. Whatever it is, it can't be so bad that you can't even tell me." She smiled. She had no idea.

I let out a deep breath, before speaking. "When we go back to the bonfire... Jake will be there."

She was silent for a while and I had a feeling that I knew what she was thinking. This Jacob wouldn't know who she was and he also wouldn't imprint on her for another year. That much, she already knew. I just had to fill in the blanks, without upsetting her. After a few minutes, with the only sounds being the kids surrounding us, she finally spoke up again.

"And?" was her only word, though I could easily detect her hidden emotions.

"And... he'll act a bit out of character." Was all I could seem to get out.

"That's it, Mom? Seriously, what is going on here? Of course he'll be different, he's only like 15 right now." She looked at me, incredulously.

I sighed even deeper now and buried my head in my hands. "Before you were born, there were... issues, between Jake and myself. And later between Jake and your father."

This was also difficult for her to grasp, since the only animosity she has ever felt between the two males in her life, was in the beginning. Monster was only months old, when my husband and best friend struck up a friendship, that would last for a long, long time. Something I always felt was coming, even if they wouldn't admit to it at the time.

"Okay, so they didn't like each other. They _are_ supposed to be natural enemies, Mom." She still wasn't getting it. My last resort was just outright saying it, but I couldn't do that just yet. It was too...

"Listen to me, Renesmee, very closely," again, the use of her real name got her attention, "Your husband had certain... thoughts, back then." Her eyes were still confused. "About me, honey."

It was as if a light went off, as she suddenly understood perfectly what I was saying. Though I was sure she wished she hadn't. With slightly robotic moves, she turned to look back out over the tidal pools, though I had a feeling she did not focus on anything. I gave her the time she needed, lending her my silent support and hoping that her questions wouldn't be ones I couldn't, or didn't want, to answer.

"Mom," she finally said, after minutes of silence, though still not looking at me, "did you... you didn't do anything to... encourage him, did you?" Her face was grim.

"NO!" I shouted, lowering my voice when I felt the stares on our backs. "No, honey, of course I didn't. All I saw was your father," I smiled. When I realized I wasn't actually being completely truthful, my face fell.

"Mom?" she gently shook me, "What aren't you telling me?" So intuitive.

"Remember that time I told you about? When your dad left me for a few months?" I had understated it, of course.

"Sure, Mom. Uncle Jasper tried to hurt you on your birthday and Dad felt so guilty that he felt the need to give you a chance, at a normal, human life. I'm glad he didn't," she laughed, but it didn't last long, when she saw that my face stayed the same. "Why, Mom, what happened?"

"Well, during that period, the only thing keeping me sane, was Jacob. His friendship meant the world to me and even when he persistently tried to pursue more," her face showed disgust at this, "I still didn't have the heart to let him go, no matter if it was the right thing to do."

"Okay, and?" She repeated her earlier question.

"Once your father came back, I didn't see Jake as often anymore and it hurt. A lot." I think she sensed where I was going with this. "The morning before the fight with the newborn army, I finally admitted to myself, what Jake had been trying to convince me off." This was it, I thought and took a deep breath. "That I was in love with him as well."

She looked so shocked that I wondered if maybe I had been wrong, assuming that she knew the outcome of the conversation. Or maybe this would be her reaction, regardless of earlier knowledge or not. I mean, I can't imagine Edward telling me, that he used to be in love with Renee, so I could somewhat understand where she was coming from.

Only slightly though, thank God.

"So, you're..." she waved her hands frantically in the air.

"Oh God no, honey, the feelings evaporated once you were born, as if they had never been there. Except for the friendship, of course. I actually have this theory..." I said and she seemed interested suddenly. Whether it was for my theory or for the change of subject, I didn't know.

"Go on, Mom," she was finally smiling again, if only a small one.

"Well, it goes like this. Somehow, I was always meant to have you. So when Jake met me again after I moved back, the part of him that was wolf, yet undeveloped, imprinted on the part of me that would one day, be you. I believe that all of those 'feelings' stemmed from the fact, that Fate had you planned all along."

She was smiling by the end of it and I could see that she agreed with me. Although, that could just be her will to agree, talking. Either way, it cheered her up. Until she remembered something crucial.

"Mom," her eyes were grave and a bit sad, "does this mean I have to watch him be all... lovey dovey over you?" I tried very hard not to laugh at the fear in her eyes, since it wasn't a humorous situation.

"I honestly don't know, honey. We'll just have to wait and see." I responded, brushing her curls with my fingers. She leaned in to my touch and put her head on my shoulder.

"I don't want him to like you, Mom, it's... icky." This time I couldn't stop the laugh.

"I know, Monster, I feel the same way. But look at it this way. Now that you're here, I may not have to give birth to you again and then he'll imprint on you immediately after he phases." This cheered her up, but not enough. "And in the meantime," I started, hoping this would help, "you can try to get the human Jake to love you first. That's never been done before, of course, proven by Jared and Kim, but I think that _you_ would be just the girl to do it."

There was the Monster I knew and loved. She sat back up straight, threw an arm around my back and hugged me gently.

"Thanks, Mom. You always know just what to say, to make me feel better." Hey, isn't that my job as a parent?

Especially since I was a single one at the moment.

We sat there for a few more minutes, until the boys announced that they were hungry. We got up stiffly to follow them back, making a better attempt at staying within the group this time. When we got back to First Beach, the group we'd left behind had, as I predicted, multiplied. As we got closer, we could see the shining, straight black hair and copper skin of the newcomers, teenagers from the reservation come to socialize.

I recognized Sam immediately, but it took a few seconds to place Jared, since I hadn't seen him for another year or so, the first time. At least not while knowing it was him. I realized that they were the only two, so far. I deliberately did not look for my son-in-law, waiting until he approached me himself, as he had last time. Monster and I had planned that part out, on the walk back from the tidal pools. Timing was important here, if he was to fall for his future imprint, instead of me.

It would certainly save us a lot of three-way drama in the coming years.

The food was already being passed around and the boys hurried to claim a share, while Eric introduced us as we each entered the driftwood circle. Ren and I were the last to arrive and as Eric said our names, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, the form of Jacob glancing up in interest. I pretended to ignore the attention and followed Monster over to where Angela was sitting with Ben and Conner.

Austin brought us sandwiches and an array of sodas to choose from, while Sam rattled off the names of the seven

others with him. I only recognized himself, Jared, Quil, Embry and, of course, Jacob. It was relaxing to sit with my small group of friends, they were all a restful bunch and I found myself interested in what Austin had to say.

Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter.

At a lull in the conversation, I pondered about the way time worked here in Forks. Much the same as the first time, really, with Edward being the focal point of my whole world. Sure, now Ren was a part of that as well, yet it still wasn't quite the same. My memories of my husband, even the new ones, were etched clearer in my mind, than what happened two seconds ago with my human friends. It slightly unnerved me.

During lunch the clouds started to advance, slinking across the blue sky, darting in front of the sun momentarily, casting long shadows across the beach and blackening the waves. As they finished eating, people began to drift away into twos and threes. Some walked down to the edge of the waves, trying to skip rocks across the choppy surface. Others were gathering a second expedition to the tide pools. Mike, with Jessica shadowing him, headed up to the one shop in the village. Some of the local kids went with them, others went along on the hike. By the time they all had scattered, I was sitting with Ren on our driftwood log, across from Lauren and Tyler, occupying themselves by the CD player someone had thought to bring.

The log beside them held Jacob, Quil and Embry.

They were smiling and laughing, sometimes glancing our way and it made me slightly uncomfortable. I really hoped they were discussing my daughter, who was currently nudging me in the side. I turned to see the brilliant smile she was trying unsuccessfully to hide, at the sight of the man she loved more than life. I couldn't help but imitate her grin, silently praying that our plan would work.

"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" I heard his voice before I noticed his approach.

He sat himself down beside me, completely ignoring Ren on my other side. "Bella," I sighed and quickly interjected, "and this is my friend Vanessa." I smiled hugely, trying to hint at what I wanted. He glanced at her and said a quiet hello, turning his attention back on me. Great.

"I'm Jacob Black." He held his hand out in a friendly gesture. "You bought my dad's truck."

"Oh," I said, in pretend surprise, shaking his sleek hand. "You're Billy's son. I probably should remember you." Yeah, I really should, I thought ironically.

"Nah, I'm the youngest of the family. You would remember my older sisters."

"Rachel and Rebecca," I said, thinking of my daughter's two beautiful sisters-in-law. I had only met Rachel again after moving here, since Paul imprinted on her and she became a part of the secret.

He nodded and I refrained from asking if they were here. "So, how do you like the truck?" he asked.

I'm sure a grimace was on my face when I answered. "I really love it, but I'm getting a new one tomorrow. It's just too slow."

He laughed, in complete understanding. "I know, right? I was so relieved when Charlie bought it. My dad wouldn't let me work on building another car, when we had a perfectly good vehicle right there."

I laughed with him. "Well, then I'm glad I took it off your hands. Now, I just gotta find a way to get rid of it again." Without hurting Dad's feelings in the process.

He nodded. "I'll let you know if I hear of someone wanting to buy it. Or maybe just take it for free." He laughed.

"Yeah, unfortunately, since my dad spent money on it, I'll feel way too much guilt if I give it away."

"Well, maybe you'll get lucky. I mean, it really isn't that bad of a car. Honestly, I don't think a tank could take out that old monster," he laughed again.

"I hope you're right," I agreed and nudged Monster. If she wanted him, she needed to take the initiative.

"So, you build cars?" She asked and I watched as his face became animated, though he still made sure to include me in the conversation.

"When I have free time and parts. Either of you wouldn't know where I could get my hands on a master cylinder for a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit?" he added jokingly. Of course, it would only be a few months until Billy would bribe him with just that missing part.

"Sorry," Ren laughed with a flirt, "I don't have one lying around, I'm afraid." Ren definitely knew what she was talking about, whereas I, was still confused. That part of Rose had _not_ rubbed off on me.

He flashed a brilliant smile, though it was hard to tell which one of us it was guided towards. However, his little show of flirtation caught someone elses attention as well and I grumbled a few expletive words under my breath.

"You know Bella, Jacob?" Lauren asked, in what I imagined was an insolent tone, from across the fire.

"We've sorta known each other since I was born," he laughed, smiling at me again.

"How nice." She said, not sounding sincere at all, her pale, fishy eyes narrowed. "Bella," she called again, watching my face carefully, "I was just saying to Tyler that it was too bad none of the Cullens could come out today. Didn't anyone think to invite them?" Her expression of concern was unconvincing, at best.

Before Sam had a chance to, I spoke up. "I did actually invite Edward, Lauren, but he had to go on a camping trip with his brother." I said, innocence in my tone.

She looked shocked, but before she could speak, the Alpha wolf finally chimed in. "You mean Dr. Carlisle Cullen's family?" he asked, much to Lauren's irritation. She had been hoping to get another chance at riling me up.

"Yes, do you know them?" she asked condescendingly, turning halfway toward him.

"The Cullens don't come here," he said, in a tone that closed the subject, ignoring her question.

Tyler, trying to win back her attention, asked Lauren's opinion on a CD he held. She was successfully distracted. I nudged Monster in the side, telling her that now was it. This was her moment to try and divert the attention on to her. Just as she was getting my subtle poke, Jacob interrupted my thought process.

"So, is Forks driving you insane yet?"

"Oh, no, it's actually not that bad," I laughed and then, because that's just the kinda guy Jake is, he asked Ren the same question.

"I'm actually loving it here," she smiled at him, "I'm originally from New York," where did that come from? "so the weather isn't as big of a change for me, as it is for Bella," she laughed, getting him to join her. I nudged her again and she finally got to work. "Do you wanna go for a walk on the beach?" She asked, trying to be flirtatious.

Jacob didn't jump up eagerly as he had with me, but he did agree, which was a welcome start. When he turned to me, I simply told him that I wasn't in the mood for a walk and although his spirits deflated a bit, he still left with Monster. She raised her hand in a thumbs-up move behind her back, as they walked away from the bonfire. I crossed my legs Indian style and looked out over the sea.

Thankfully Lauren's attention was still on Tyler and the music.

I noticed a lone figure, sitting out by the waters edge, dipping their feet in the wet. Deciding to put some of the bravery I had acquired over the years to good use, I got off the log and walked down the sand. When I got there and finally saw who it was, I was even happier that I had done it. This is another fresh start, just waiting to happen.

"You're Leah, right?" I said, waiting for her to turn to me.

"Yeah..." she said quietly, but it was okay. I knew it would take a bit for me to reach her.

I smiled and sat down beside her. "I'm Bella Swan. Our dads go fishing together?"

"Right, you're the Chief's daughter. I heard you were coming here." She said in a bored tone, continuing to look out over the sea.

I sighed. "Look, if you want me to leave..."

"No," it was her turn to sigh, "it's fine. I guess I'm just not much company these days."

"I can get like that sometimes too." I agreed with her. "Is it anything I can help with?" I whispered, not hiding the part of my voice that was sympathizing.

She looked at me, slightly shocked. "You know, don't you." She whispered back, eyes filling with tears. "I didn't think news traveled that far," she laughed, grimly.

"Don't worry, Leah. It's just me. I can't tell you how I know, I just do." I tried to show her my honesty through my eyes.

She nodded, with what seemed like a relieved smile on her face. "Thanks, Bella." She took a deep breath. "I really just don't... understand. One day we were so happy and talking about marriage once school was over and then..." the tears finally fell and I had a feeling that without me here, she never would have let herself feel it. She would've just become the cynical Leah that I know from my time.

I put my arm around her, not saying anything. After all, what could I possibly say to make this situation any better?

Nothing, that's what. So instead, I just let her go on after an emotional pause.

"And then Emily of all people?" Her voice was still a whisper, but I heard the heat in her tone. "She wasn't just my cousin, but my best friend and now... I can't even look at her."

When she felt my comforting hand, patting her back, she seemed to take it as an invitation to finally show her true emotions in what I'm guessing is the first time since it all happened. She slid closer to me and even though she didn't put her head on my shoulder as Ren had done earlier, I could feel the bond between us growing infinitesimally. It was a definite start.

"How do you feel about Sam?" I decided to join the conversation again.

She sniffled slightly. "I still love him, of course. But a part of me really, really... hates him, too. Is that wrong of me?" She asked, looking up at me with big, wet, black eyes of despair.

"No," I stroked her hair softly, "no it's not. I don't think anyone would blame you for feeling that, least of all Sam. He knows what he's done." Even if he can't tell you the real reason.

"But why? If he had to fall for someone else, which was bad enough, why her? Anyone but her..." She was full out crying now. "And even if she returned the feelings, why would she show it. If it was me... friends... no, family, is supposed to come first, Bella!" she practically shouted.

I had the image of a loving Sam, holding a scarred Emily in his arms and yet, for the first time ever, I couldn't help but feel a bit of animosity towards the couple. Couldn't they have handled all of this better than they did? Were they so busy with the wolf business and the attack on Emily, that they completely overlooked the girl so obviously in pain? And if that was the case, that was a really weak excuse. It was disrespectful, to be honest.

I wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, but what kind of reassurances did I really have for her? In my time, she still hadn't imprinted. Okay, so neither had her brother, but he wasn't dealing with a broken heart. It helped when she switched over to Jake's Pack, but she was never truly the same girl again. At least from what I was told, since I never met that girl.

When she had calmed down again, I spoke. "I can't tell you what either of them were thinking, I wish I could. You might have to come to terms with never finding out," except I knew one day she would, what I didn't know was if that was actually such a good thing, "but Leah. Even from what little I have seen of you, you seem like a strong, independent girl.

You've gotta prove to Sam, Emily and everyone else, that you have not been broken by this." Even if that isn't the truth.

She sniffled still, but I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "You really think I can do that, Bella?" I was glad I had caught her, before the cynicism set in completely. My Leah would never have been this responsive.

"Yes, I truly do." I smiled at her.

She pulled me in for a surprising hug. "Thank you. You've actually helped me, despite the fact that we don't really know each other."

"Well, maybe we can change that," I said and held out my hand, "I'm Isabella Swan, but I prefer Bella."

She laughed and laid her hand in mine. "Hi Bella, I'm Leah Clearwater." I had finally succeeded in raising her spirits.

And it was just in time, too, as I saw Mike heading my way. I sighed out and Leah caught it, looking back to see what had caught my attention. In that moment, as she snickered at my reaction, I saw a glimpse of the Leah I knew. Maybe this was good, it could be some sort of merging of the two. She would need them both, to properly get through this, I was sure.

"There you are, Bella," Mike called in relief, waving his arm over his head.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Leah asked, ironically.

"Yes," I whispered, "can't you see how perfect a fit we are." I said, rolling my eyes. It got me another grin and giggle.

"Y'know," she seemed to hesitate, "my mom's making some of my dad's famous fish fry for dinner. Do you wanna join us?" I saw the hope for friendship in her eyes.

"Of course," I smiled at her, "I just have to tell the people I came with."

We both got off the sand and brushed ourselves off, walking in the direction of the dwindling bonfire. Several people were packing up, since the weather had cooled down a bit. Mike had reached us now, with Jessica still a few paces back. I could see his eyes wandering over my body and shivered at the thought. I was really glad I couldn't read minds right now.

"Where have you been?" he asked, though the answer couldn't have been more obvious.

"I was just talking with my friend, Leah here." I said, smiling warmly at my new companion.

"Well," Mike paused, shaking himself out of his daydream. Ew. "We're packing up. It looks like it's going to rain soon." We all looked up at the glowering sky. It certainly did look like rain.

"Okay, thanks for the heads up. I'm just gonna go get the girls." I walked swiftly past him. "I'll see you in school on Monday, Mike." I called out, trying not to laugh at his dumbstruck look.

What, I came here with my friend, did he really think that I was going to leave with him?

Probably.

I was glad to have brought an extra shirt with me, for just such an occasion, since I knew it would rain later that day. I pulled up my hood as we tramped across the rocks toward the parking lot, where I saw Angela and Monster waiting, with Jacob it seemed. A few drops were beginning to fall, making black spots on the stones where they landed. When we finally reached our destination, I quickly announced my changed plans.

"Oh," Ren said, surprised, "how will you get home, then?" She seemed genuinely interested, since she knew how much I had always wanted to get on the good side of Leah. If ours even had one. There was no wariness in her voice. "I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind dropping her off at home." Leah chimed in, thank God, since it looked like Jake was about to say something. He didn't even have a car, for crying out loud.

"Okay, well then I guess I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled, "When should I come pick you up?"

"Hmm," I wondered how long my talk with Dad would last, "why don't I call you when it's time." I told her and she quickly interpreted my meaning.

"Sure," she smiled and waved at me, ushering Angela into the Ferrari. "Jake, I know you probably live nearby, but I could give you a ride if you want?" He seemed to hesitate, looking between me and Monster.

Right there she lived up to her name. Playing on the boy's love for cars, poor guy never stood a chance. I snickered quietly when the three drove away and turned back to Leah, gesturing for her to lead the way. I can't actually remember having ever been at the Clearwater home, any of the times, so this was new territory for me. How fun. Oh, that wasn't sarcastic, by the way.

"So," Leah spoke, as we walked through a small trail in the forest by the beach, "where are you going with your friend?" She asked, sounding curious.

"Oh, we're going to Olympia. I need a new car," I laughed and apparently news travels fast in La Push, because she

knew exactly what I meant.

"So, how far is it?" I asked, when we had been walking for a good ten minutes. The air was getting chillier by the minute and my legs were bare.

"Oh we're almost there," she smiled and sure enough, we pushed through the brushes and came to a small house.

Well, maybe not that small, since I was sure that it was bigger than Jake's and Emily's.

"Leah, there you are, I was getting worried. Who's you friend?" Sue called out, until we came closer. "Isabella, is that you," she smiled and took my hands in hers, "I haven't seen you in years. Come on in girls, dinner's almost ready." Then she turned to me again. "What a coincidence, your father is joining us tonight as well."

I smiled at that, until I remembered that he wasn't too happy with me these days. Please, let this be a drama-free zone tonight. He knows I'll tell him everything tomorrow, anyways. I just thanked God that Dad was a quiet man, who didn't let his emotions show in front of company.

I followed Leah and Sue through the front door and into the entry hall, which was covered in a flowery wallpaper and had a small antique table, pushed up against the wall across from the door. Walking into the kitchen, it quickly became obvious that Sue had decorated. It was all in soft white colors. The dining table and chairs, the cabinets and drawers and of course, the walls. Only the counter tops were a shocking black granite, that fit in perfect with the motif.

Harry came into the room, followed by Dad, carrying two matching chairs and placing them around the table. I guess they already saw me coming, somehow. I smiled at Dad and gave him a small wave. He returned the smile and it gave me some hope, that maybe I hadn't ruined everything after all.

"Harry, go tell your son that dinners ready," Sue pushed at him and then turned to Leah, Dad and myself, "and you three, sit wherever you want. There are no assigned seating in this house." She smiled.

I was about to pull a chair out, when Leah grabbed my arm and gestured for me to come sit by her on the window side of the room. I realized, by the smile on Dad's face, why his mood had lightened. He seemed pleased that I had befriended Leah, but whether it was for my sake or hers, I couldn't quite figure out. Maybe a little of both.

I almost choked on my surprise, when a small boy came walking into the room and I realized that it was Seth. He was so young, I thought with a small smile. It was adorable to see, really. Though he probably wouldn't like hearing that. I hid my snort behind a cough.

When we were all seated at the table, Sue came over from the counter and served us each a plate of the famous fish fry, with a side of french fries, coleslaw and a small salad. I suppose Sue was trying to bring even just a little bit of green into the household. The men, and boy, eagerly dug in, while the chatter seemed endless. It was the cozy sort of atmosphere I had never really been a part of before.

For most of my life, it was just me and Mom. When I hadn't cooked, we went to a restaurant she just had to try, or we spent the night at the hospital for food poisoning. When Phil came along, it was either take-out or eating in front of the TV when a game was on. Then it became just me and Dad and then I became a vampire, where eating involved a hunting trip to the woods.

This was definitely new ground for me and I quickly found that I loved it.

"So, Bella," Sue said when there was a lull in the conversation, "how are you enjoying Forks so far?" I didn't think it was ironic, simply unavoidable, that I had already been asked this particular question once today.

"More than I thought I would," I smiled at Dad wryly, "it's actually not as bad as my childhood memories paint it to be. I've met some nice people," I winked at Leah, "and school is good too."

"Well, that's great. I know Charlie is happy to have you back here again." Sue smiled, while Dad flushed in response.

Typically him, really.

"Come now, Sue, don't embarrass the man," Harry scolded playfully and the topic turned to something different.

When the plates were sufficiently emptied, Sue shooed off our attempts to help with the dishes and Leah took me through the living room, to her own. As we passed through, I noticed that this was also a bright room, with white walls and even white floors. This, however, had been matched with an egg-white couch, a beige striped seat and a wooden chair. It was quite... quaint. I liked it.

Leah's room was not what I had been expecting, but then, I didn't really _know_ what I thought I would see. Unlike the average teenage girl, there were no posters on the walls, though who was I to judge when I was the same. Instead, she had framed photos of what looked to be various family members. There were some bald spots as well and I didn't comment, thinking it was probably where she used to keep the ones of Sam or Emily.

Her bed was as small as mine, with pale red linens. A small table sat beside it, with a book on top and reading the title told me we had more in common than we thought. I wondered suddenly if she would enjoy _Melodic Symphony_? I would have to make sure to recommend it, when it was released in the future.

"I know it's not much, but..." Leah sounded shy all of a sudden.

"No, it's fine," I reassured her, reusing my earlier thought, "quaint. I like it." I smiled.

She returned it with a small grin and I realized that she wasn't used to this whole, making new friends thing. Or at least she hadn't been in a long time. Maybe that was one of the reasons why her cousin had been her best friend, besides the obvious fact that Emily is a sweet girl. Maybe she just didn't connect well with strangers.

Sound familiar?

"Come on, let's sit down," she patted the seat beside her, "our dads will be busy with the game for a while." I laughed and joined her on the tiny bed. Then, things took a turn for the more serious, as her face became thoughtful. "Bella," she began, "I can't even begin to explain how it feels, to have met you today. I know it sounds stupid, we've only just met, but..."

"It's okay, Leah, you can say it. I'm sure I wont think it's stupid." I nudged her gently.

She sighed. "I feel like I can be myself with you. Not the bubbly girl I was with Sam, or the depressed and angry one I've been lately, but... the real me." Then she whispered softly, "I'm just not sure who that is anymore."

"You'll figure it out," I soothed, "and I'll do whatever I can to help."

She reminded me of Edward and his mood swings, as she perked right up and asked if I wanted to see her collection of leaves. Something this town definitely had more than enough of. I agreed and for the next half hour, I listened to her

animatedly tell me the difference of all the items in her book. I found myself actually interested in something, I never thought I would think twice about.

I had started this today, with the thought of helping her and yet ended up helping myself as well in the process. I was sure that she would be a better friend than even I had ever imagined.

Just as she was finishing up the book, Dad knocked on the door and said that it was time to go. I gave Leah a hug, promising to see her again soon and left the room. I said a quick goodbye to Seth as I passed his room, Harry who was by the TV and Sue in the kitchen, who decided to follow us out. It wasn't until I got into the cruiser, that I finally felt the effects of my long day. I would've probably fallen asleep, right then and there, if it hadn't been for Dad's insistence to keep up a conversation on the way home.

"So, Bells," he said, while I internally groaned, "you and Leah, huh? I think it would be good for her, to have a new friend.

She hasn't been doing so well lately." Dad always spoke more, when it involved people he directly cared about. He had known Leah since she was born.

"Yeah, well, she's a sweet girl," I yawned, "and I think I'll benefit from the friendship as well." I said with complete honesty.

He just nodded and I thought that might have been the end. I was wrong. "Listen, Bells," his voice was wary, "I know we have that talk tomorrow and I'm not canceling it, don't even think that," he said in a hard voice, "but Harry wanted to go fishing and I really didn't have a good enough reason to bow out..."

"It's okay Dad," now my eyes were blinking shut, "I have to go to Olympia tomorrow anyway, with Vanessa. I was planning on doing it after our talk, but I'll just go while your fishing and then we'll talk when you come back. Besides, I have no idea how long it'll take anyway, so it's probably better if we save it for the end of the day."

Wow, I'm amazed I could get so much out, with how tired I felt. I barely heard Dad's positive agreement, though I did see his nod. The soothing rumbles of the cruiser did wonders for my sleep addled brain and just before I fell into the fog, I could've sworn I saw a white figure in the distance.

Just at the border line.


	7. Relative Revelations

**Relative Revelations**

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
March 6th, 2005**

* * *

It was bright in my dream. Too bright. I tried, unsuccessfully, to cover my eyes, but my hand wouldn't move an inch. I could hear voices in the distance, yet I couldn't distinguish the words from the hum of noise. It was as if I were listening to the sound of a hummingbird's wings, flapping majestically in the wind. Everything was moving too fast, apart from myself. I seemed so be stuck solidly in a vat of concrete, weighing me to the earth.

The blinding white still continued to surround me, blazing me with it's unending fire. My throat burned, as if flames were caressing my skin and still I felt no pain. The hum of voices came infinitesimally closer, moving as a single entity, to my place in this unknown territory. I felt the unmistakable wetting of my eyes, though no tears fell. Suddenly, I heard a growl in the distance, advancing on the humming entity and I feared for it's safety.

The fire burned brighter, the light stung my eyes and the horribly carnal sound rose to deafening heights. I thrashed and flailed against the invisible bonds holding me down, desperate to help the strange being in the far away. Then, as abruptly as the inhuman howl had appeared, it vanished. I almost let out a breath of relief, when something else, something much darker took it's place. And this time, it was not interested in the entity I wanted to protect. Instead, it headed straight for me.

As I opened my mouth to scream, dozens of arachnids crawled forth from the confines of my lips and then I woke up.

My whole body was drenched in sweat, hair clinging to my shoulders and forehead, as I sat up gasping for air. My hands tightly clenched the bed sheet, until my knuckles were as white as the place in my dream. Or maybe nightmare was a better term? The fire in my throat was still there, even in my awakened state and I realized that I had been screaming aloud, for however long. As I untangled myself from the covers and made my way downstairs for some water, I wondered why Dad hadn't come in to wake me.

Until I saw the lack of a cruiser in the driveway. I forgot how early he sometimes starts his fishing trips. The clock above the kitchen cabinet read _05:44_ , so it couldn't have been too long ago that he left. I shrugged in response to my own pondering, not feeling quite awake yet and also knowing that I wouldn't be falling back to sleep any time soon. So I settled for relaxing on the couch, until it was time to call Monster.

I brought a pitcher of water with me, as I went into the living room and sat down on the small sofa. I crossed my legs and lay them on the table, deciding that I needed to decipher the dream or I would never be able to loosen up enough to go on with my day. It had just been so... disturbing.

Especially if you take a look at the other dreams I had, while staying in Forks the first time around.

I envisioned Jacob, phasing into a russet colored wolf and warning me to stay away from Edward. I saw Mike trying to lead me away from my husband as well. And, I saw the love of my life glimmering in the early light of morning. This was all before I received actual knowledge and it did enough to upset me the first time around. This time?

I would rather not have a dozen spiders inside my mouth, thank you very much, I shuddered.

I wrapped my arms around my knees, pulling them up to my chest. I had to find a way to work out the mystifying puzzle that was my dream. But how? Okay, I'll pull it apart first, bit by bit. Starting with the strange, white, brightness. Obviously a metaphor? But for what. Brightness can also mean enlightenment, so maybe there is something I'm supposed to see. Something I have overlooked, on this second round. It could easily make sense, since I had been busy looking for things I already knew was coming. The coma I was in proved that I should also be on the outlook for the completely unexpected. It could also be a symbol for the obvious. Something that is in the light, so clear that you don't see it.

The voices in the distance. The hum of an entity. Were those two the same or different? To me, it felt as if I was being called. But by whom, or what? It felt peaceful though and I remember feeling extremely protective of whatever it was, so I don't think it was malevolent. The hum could be the voices moving so close to each other, that I couldn't tell one from the other. Or maybe I was wrong, and one had nothing to do with the other.

The speed. I remembered that it felt like, when you see a movie in quick fast forward. The leaves on the trees surrounding me were blowing so hurriedly in the wind, that everything became an emerald colored blur. Was that a symbol for time? Could it even be anything else? Maybe I was looking at it like I did the light, too obviously. Again, it didn't have to be a metaphor for time or the travel I had made through it. But then, why was I unable to move in the dream? Was the situation presented to me, beyond my reach and that was a demonstration of how helpless I was?

I lifted my fingers to my temples, rubbing softly. All of this was giving me a thundering headache and I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't think about this anymore, at least not right now. Maybe Monster could help me decipher it later.

I looked at the clock over the TV set and decided that it was late enough, that I could call Ren. I got off the couch slowly, stretching out my tired legs. I knew that today was going to be another long day and regretted not getting enough sleep, but there was nothing I could do about it now. I would just have to turn in early tonight, so I would be rested for school tomorrow.

"Hey Mom," Monster said, when she picked up. Obviously there was no doubt who it was, since I was the only one who had the number.

"Hey honey, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah sure, let me just lock up and everything, then I'll come right over." I could hear the worry in her voice. Apparently, I wasn't as good at hiding my distress as I thought.

"Great, I'll see you in a little while."

I hung up and went back upstairs to get dressed. I pulled a pair of black dress slacks out of my closet and matched it with a long, green sweater. Or maybe it was a cardigan? Alice hasn't taught me as much as I'm sure she would've hoped, if I can't even tell the two apart. I wore a pair of low heels, in the mood for something a bit nicer than what I wear to school. I brushed my hair into a ponytail, resting over my left shoulder and then I ran back down to the kitchen.

I decided to just wait outside for her, so we could get on the road. I grabbed my wallet and stuffed it into my messenger bag, that I had emptied yesterday for school books. Then I got my keys, took my jacket, just in case, and left the house, locking the door behind me. Just as I was about to sit down on the porch, my daughter pulled up to the curve and waved from the driver's seat.

I ran quickly down the steps and crawled into the tiny car. It was a bit chillier today than it had been at the beach and Ren had put the top up this time, thankfully. She was, however, wearing sunglasses and I rolled my eyes at the image.

Apparently she was keeping an open and positive mind, about whether or not the weather would shift to a sunnier atmosphere.

"Hey Mom," she smiled at me, "how did you sleep?" I must have bags under my eyes.

"Not too good," I admitted, frowning slightly, "I had a... nightmare." I whispered.

"Huh," she said, knowing that it was my first one since I had become human again. "Well, what was it about?" she sounded genuinely curious, without a hint of teasing in her voice.

"If it's okay with you, I'd rather not talk about it right now," I pleaded, "I've been thinking about it all morning. Maybe later, when we're having lunch or something."

"Sure," she was quick to agree, "that's fine. I just... worry, y'know."

"Yeah," I brushed my fingers through her curls, "I know, honey. Thank you."

She smiled and turned her attention back on the road. I knew that with her driving, it wouldn't be long before we would arrive in Olympia. I couldn't wait to find myself a new, used car, so I wouldn't have to keep driving with Monster to school everyday. It wasn't just that she had to go out of her way to pick me up, I knew she didn't really mind that. It was the fact that it was pink! I really wasn't a very girlie girl, never had been, so I felt a bit uncomfortable in it.

I wanted one that wasn't too different from my truck, one that fit me and my personality. I crossed my fingers that I would get lucky today.

When we reached the city of Olympia, the clock read _10:13_. We had plenty of time to spend here and started off at the Grass Lake Nature Park, after stopping for sandwiches on the way. We found an empty bench and just decided to enjoy the view for a while, before we went off in a search for a used cars dealership.

"So," I began, when we had sat in silence for a few minutes, "how did it go last night? With Jake, I mean." I wasn't blind to the smile that lit up her face with that question.

"Well, he was a bit quiet at first, probably because you had bowed out of the walk," she winked at me, "but I got him to loosen up a bit. Before long, he was asking all the questions, wanting to know stuff about me." She finished with a brilliant grin.

"That's great, Monster, I knew you could get through to him." I congratulated her.

"Oh it's not over yet. I have a feeling he'll keep coming after you, but I just have to be persistent." It was good to see that she no longer frowned at the idea of her husband liking me. Now, she just saw it as a welcome challenge. Go figure.

"Now that's the spirit?" I laughed, not sure how to approach her new plan. I guess if it kept my son-in-law off my back, romantically speaking, I should be rooting for it to work.

"What about you, Mom?" I could tell how pleased she was, being in an atmosphere where she didn't have to pretend I was someone I wasn't.

"What about me what?" I quirked my eyebrows, slightly confused.

"Y'know, the thing with Leah last night?" She elaborated.

"Oh," I nodded my head in understanding, "that. Well, I saw her sitting alone at the water's edge. Of course, I didn't know it was her at first."

Monster sighed. "Yeah, that sounds like you Mom." She said, pride in her voice.

I shrugged it off and continued. "Anyway, when I saw who it was I realized that I might have found another thing to change, while I'm here. She was very open, actually."

"Of course she was, Mom." She stated, as if I should know something I didn't.

"What do you mean, honey?"

She looked incredulous for a second and then her expression cleared. "Jake never told you any details, did he? About that particular triangle relationship."

"No, he was a lot like your father in that sense. Not wanting to tell someone elses story. I think the only two reasons he _did_ tell me were because he wanted me to understand the full length of what imprinting was and because he knew that none of the three parties involved would be telling me themselves. I suppose he didn't want me to constantly be in a confused state, whenever I was around one of them."

"Huh, well I guess that makes sense." She got a faraway look in her eyes, as she chewed this over.

"Monster," I pushed her slightly with my shoulder to get her attention, "you were about to tell me something?" I reminded her gently.

"Oh, right," she exclaimed, as if she had just remembered that herself, "well, it was that whole thing with the threesome of disaster. Jake filled me in on all of the details one day, while we were out hunting together. Him in human form, of course."

Jake had become Ren's favorite hunting partner, practically since the moment she was born. He wasn't always in wolf form, sometimes preferring conversation on the long hike through the various forests of our homes.

"Anyway," she said, after I was concentrating on her again, "this is why I think that Leah being more receptive to you was not that strange. You see, it's only been about three months since Sam phased for the very first time. In fact, it's only been two weeks since Emily was accidentally hurt."

I felt a sudden pain coursing through my veins as I thought about her words. If it hadn't been for my unfortunate coma, I might have been able to do something to stop it. To stop Sam from having to live with the guilt for the rest of his life. To keep Emily from having to remember it, every single time she looked at her own reflection. I was so caught up in my plan to get my family back, that I completely overlooked the people who meant almost as much to me. My second family. I felt horrible.

"Why didn't you stop it, Ren?" I asked her, in a soft voice. I hadn't the strength to raise it at the moment.

She looked at me, guiltily. "I tried, Mom. I didn't remember it until it was too late. I raced into the woods, but..."

I didn't push further, feeling even worse for assuming that my daughter wouldn't care enough to act. These people were more her family than they were mine. A sort of in-laws, really. Her and Jake would travel to La Push often, regardless of where we lived and spend several days with the other pack. And Billy, of course, before he passed away.

"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean to assume..."

"It's okay, Mom, I get it. Now, let me get to the point." She said, and I knew I was forgiven. "As I said, everything happened only recently. Leah hasn't had time to truly grow into the cynical girl we know. And, the final push didn't come until she phased herself. I mean, it's one thing to have your boyfriend drop you for someone else, but then to find out that the other woman is actually his soul mate, the one being meant for him? That's gotta be awful." She finished in a sad tone.

I simply nodded my agreement, too lost in thought to make any sort of reply. I remembered the look on Leah's face last night and knew instantly that Monster was right. This was a girl that I could work with. She hadn't been molded into the girl I knew, the one so filled with anguish that she wanted the whole world to suffer with her. I felt hope now, more so than I had last night. I felt that I truly could do some good for her and I vowed to do everything in my power to make sure she wouldn't change too much, once she finally phased. Because I knew it would come. As many things as I knew I could change, fate and destiny were not a part of it. It would run its course and instead of altering it, I would simply be there, to lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on.

"Mom," she interrupted my thoughts, "will you tell me about your nightmare now?" The worry was back in her voice.

I sighed and then proceeded to fill her in on everything. The dream and the few conclusions I had come to, after I woke up. She looked a bit freaked out, but was very supportive, lending her own ideas to the metaphors of what I had experienced. In the end, she ended up agreeing with me on most of my own theories. She promised to tell me if she thought of something else and in the meantime she wanted me to push the nightmare out of my head. She said that worrying too much wouldn't help any. She was probably right.

"C'mon, let's go find me a car." I said, wanting to leave this solemn mood behind. For now.

She smiled and got off the bench, reaching out a hand for me to take. When I was standing, she slipped her arm through my elbow and together we made out way back to the parking lot. We had checked the internet for many different dealerships in the Olympia area, but we decided to go to the one that sounded most promising. So, as we buckled in and Ren started the engine, we drove swiftly through the unfamiliar streets, heading for Titus-Will.

"Oh my god, Bella," Monster shouted from across the lot, "look at this. Are we in luck today or what?" She laughed as I approached.

I knew what she meant the moment I reached her. It was absolutely perfect. It was almost the spitting image of my truck, except it was newer and a four-door. It was beautiful and it would be mine. It was love at first sight. The label told me that it was a Nissan Frontier SE RWD, whatever that meant and the price was almost exactly the amount I had saved up, before coming here. That meant not having to dip a finger in the TOD account. I really didn't want to take any more than necessary.

"Wow, Monster, you're right, it's perfect," I said with a huge smile, softly stroking the beautiful paint job.

She giggled in response and ran off, probably getting a salesman so we could get it over with. I still had that dreadful conversation with my father, on the horizon. I took a deep breath, pushed that particular thought out of my mind and continued to admire what I was sure would be my new truck. It wasn't as sturdy as the old one, but then they didn't make them like that anymore. Not counting that ridiculously overpriced and overprotected car Edward gave me before the change, of course.

"Hello," a man came up to me, shaking my hand, "this young woman told me that you were interested in buying a car?"

A smile slowly spread across my face as I replied in the positive and took another loving glance at my newest object of want.

An hour later, I walked out of there the proud owner of my very own truck. The very first and most expensive thing I have ever bought with my own money. After all, becoming a Cullen meant not ever having to work a day in my long existence again, thanks to Alice's nifty gift. So this, this was something to be treasured. I never got accustomed to having someone spend money on me, but I accepted it, knowing how happy it made my husband to shower me in gifts. But no one could take this from me, this feeling I got from purchasing my very own car. It made me feel grown up, independent. And I very much liked that.

"Okay, you can stop smiling now, Mom. You're gonna break your jaw if you keep this up." Ren joked from beside me, rolling her eyes.

I pushed her shoulder lightly. "Shut up and let me enjoy this, Monster."

"I guess this means I'll be driving home alone?" She said it in the form of a question, though it was more of a statement.

I had waved the salesman off, when he offered to have it delivered to my home. There was no way I wasn't driving my own baby home.

"Yep, it sure does," I smiled and then laughed as she rolled her eyes, again.

I suppose she wasn't used to seeing me act so silly, considering that I was the mother, the responsible, serious one. I didn't care. This feeling was so freeing, and I never realized how much I had missed being the child. Just because I was forever stuck at 18, didn't mean that I stayed a teenager inside. Throw in a daughter and I haven't had a chance to be a kid in a very long time. I wanted to enjoy it for as long as I could.

"Mom," I realized that Ren was snapping her fingers in front of my face, "did you hear what I said?" She huffed indignantly.

"Ehm, sorry honey. What was it?" I said, embarrassed.

She sighed in irritation. "I said," she made sure to use severe pronunciation, "that we should probably go now, since you've got that talk with Grandpa. And you've gotta get enough sleep tonight, for school tomorrow." Crap, I was not looking forward to going home.

On the plus side, I would be driving my new car. I would just make sure to stay below the speed limit, so that I could cherish the ride. And stall, of course.

"Okay, honey," I pulled her in for a hug, "I'll see you in the morning, in the parking lot." I finished with another brilliant smile. I loved not having to depend on her anymore.

"Sure thing, Mom," she squeezed me back, "good luck on your talk. Try not to freak Grandpa out too much." She teased and gave me a peck on the cheek.

I watched as she made her way over to her car, get in the driver's seat and start the engine. Waiting until she was completely out of sight, I turned to my own truck. The smile came back instantly, as I pressed the button for the automatic lock and got into the soft, leather seats of my new baby. I slowly caressed the fabric and finally realized why Ren had rolled her eyes at me, when I caught my reflection in the small mirror. I looked absolutely ridiculous and a bit mad.

Like an evil scientist, stroking the fur of a white cat while he told the hero his elaborate plan for world domination.

I took a deep breath, calmed myself down and screwed the smile off. When I felt somewhat back to my normal self, I turned on the ignition and backed out of the dealership. I switched the radio on to a soothing jazz station, letting the lulling tone of Billie Holiday further calm me, as I made my way down the long road, heading for home.

Four tranquil hours later, I was pulling into the driveway of my small house. As soon as I turned the engine off, Dad came running out of the house, eyes wide with shock. My previous smile returned, though not as bright, as I was too worried about his reaction. I really hoped his feelings wouldn't be hurt.

"Hey Dad," I said, as I got out and closed the door behind me, "what do you think?" I was sure the hope was in my voice.

"Wow, Bells. I... don't know what to say, actually. Is this why you went to Olympia?" He inquired, but I didn't hear any anger or hurt in his voice. Yet.

"Yeah," I sighed and decided to get straight to the point, "it is. Look, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, Dad, but the truck," I pointed at the rusting behemoth parked next to my new car, "just wasn't me, y'know? I hope you'll understand."

He was lost in thought for a few seconds, before he replied. "I do understand, honey, I just wish you would've told me about it. I can tell that you've been worrying about my reaction." I blushed for the first time since arriving back here and lowered my head in response.

"Yeah, I guess I was. It's just... you seemed so proud when you told me that you had bought me a car. I didn't want you to think that it was a waste of your money." Then I realized something. "Actually, Dad, I think once we've had our talk, you'll be able to understand better, why I did this."

This brought his thoughts back to why we were both home so early on a Sunday and he silently nodded and turned back for the house, expecting me to follow behind. I did, pressing the lock button and soon we were sitting in the living room, him in his chair and me on the couch. I gave him a look, showing him how serious this talk was going to be and he moved over to sit beside me. I crossed my legs over each other, so that I was facing him directly and then took a deep breath.

Here we go.

"Dad, do you remember those stories you used to hear? Down at the reservation when you, Billy and Harry were boys?" I really hoped he did, it would save me a lot of trouble.

"The Legends of the Tribe?" He asked and I nodded emphatically.

He went silent and I could tell that he was thinking about his childhood. I knew, thanks to my relationship with Billy in the future, that Dad had actually once been such a large part of the Quileutes, that the Elders had made sure he knew the stories as well. I suppose he became an honorary member and they wanted him to be protected, in case the Cold Ones came back.

"I remember..." he finally began, after a long time of silence, "something about a man, a general of sorts. His... body was stolen." He looked at me for confirmation and I decided to be a bit more vocal.

"Yeah, you're thinking about Keheleha, the Spirit Chief." I had been told the legends again after my turning and so my perfect memory was not faulty. I could see that he wanted to know how I knew all of this, but there were more important things to discuss right now. "What else do you remember, Dad?" I pushed him, hoping to do what Jake had done with me. That way I wouldn't be betraying either of my families.

He sighed. "I don't know, honey."

"Try Dad, please. For me..." I added in a whisper and he saw how important this was for me.

"Alright," he agreed, "I'll try." I no longer had to wonder where I got a certain trait, when I witnessed Dad softly chewing on his bottom lip, as he thought. "There was a man. I think it was decades or centuries after that Spirit Chief." He was close now. "The Tribe could... turn into wolves, right?" I nodded and waited for him to continue. "Okay, well... there was a threat to their village."

"Exactly." I raised my voice in excitement. He looked at me and seemed to realized that this was what I had been waiting for. "Dad, what did the Quileutes call this threat?" I gently guided him in the right direction. That wasn't wrong of me, was it?

"Hmm, I don't know. Something..." he sighed, "no, I don't remember." He rubbed a hand over his face and I knew that I needed to give him a break.

"They were called The Cold Ones, Dad." A light went off in his eyes and I knew that I had started the waterfall. Now, the rest was up to him.

"Right, of course. Because of the coolness of their pale, white skin. Thanks, honey." He smiled. "Alright, lets see. They were inhumanly beautiful... something about blood-red eyes... impenetrable skin..." he seemed to be shivering, "evil... I remember that now. They were evil, killing everyone in the village." His voice shook now and I knew he had fitted the final piece. "Vampires." He whispered and then looked at me in fright.

"Yes, Dad," I whispered back just as quietly, "that's true. Their eyes revealed their true nature."

He nodded now, seemingly a bit animated. "Yes and that's where the Quileutes came in. They were... Protectors. It's what the wolves did, protected the land from The Cold Ones." He rubbed a hand over his neck. I knew he was finally wondering where I was going with all of this.

"Think about them, Dad. The Cold Ones. Picture them in your head, as they were explained to you back then." I pleaded, wanting him to put two and two together.

I watched quietly as he leaned back against the armrest, having copied my position earlier. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brows, taking my request seriously. I saw the emotions flitting around on his face, waiting for the _click_ to come. I didn't have to wait long. Suddenly, he sat up straight, his eyes popped open, but it didn't look like he was actually focused on anything in the room. He seemed far away and I flinched at the fear and anger I could easily read. He was responding this way about my family. About something I had once been and would be again.

"This was why Billy and the others acted the way they did," he whispered, still not looking at anything in particular, "when _they_ first moved here." Oh Dad, not you too. They have a name, dammit.

"Say it, Dad." I didn't mean to sound so... cold, but that was my family he was talking about.

He lifted his eyes to mine and continued to whisper. "The Cullens are vampires."

I knew I needed to stop him, before he jumped to the wrong conclusions. "Focus on their eye color Dad. Focus on the treaty that the Quileutes made with Carlisle." I begged him.

He breathed deeply, but did what I asked of him. "Billy's grandfather, Ephraim Black," I knew he was saying this out loud more for his sake than mine, "met the Cullens when he was the Leader of his Tribe. He listened to Carlisle, believing that they were different, because their eyes were a strange shade of gold, instead of the usual red."

I knew that the shock of discovering the Cullens secret had torn down any wall that was holding back his memories. He remembered everything now. I wondered how this had never happened before but quickly realized that it was probably because he didn't want to remember. Because if he did, it meant admitting that his only child was in love and married to a mythical creature. As much as Dad is like me, I knew that would be too much for him to handle.

Well, too bad, because now he had to know. I knew it was only fair. I didn't want to keep lying to him and I supposed a part of me wanted him to know the truth about me. Was that really too much to ask for?

"Where do you fit into all of this, Bells?" He was still whispering but this time, his voice was filled with questions and a small bit of pain. I knew he was fearing my answer.

"As difficult as it was for you to accept the Quileutes Legends," I sighed deeply, "what I have to say will be even harder to swallow. I really don't want you to think I'm crazy or lying, again, but I guess I'll understand if that happens. It's not really normal, what I have to say." I looked down into my lap and fidgeted with my hands.

"Whatever you say, I promise to keep an open mind, honey." Dad said in a strong voice and I knew he meant it. The question was, would he say the same if he knew the words about to leave my mouth?

"Okay," I replied and breathed heavily, "here goes nothing. Dad, I'm not exactly... seventeen years old." I had to start with baby steps, if I wanted to have a chance at his understanding.

"What do you mean?" He asked, furrowing his brows and looking at strangely. Great, it was already beginning.

I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know how to explain it, Dad, so I guess I'll just say it." I finally focused on his face and made my own appear as serious as possible, leaving no doubt about whether or not I was kidding. "I've already lived through all of this once." I made sure my words were clear, every one of them, so there would be no mistaking the truth of it.

Dad was a smart man and he instantly figured out what I was talking about. His brows lifted up into his hairline, his eyes widened to impossible levels, his skin paled slightly and I could see his hands shaking in his lap. It wasn't my intention to scare him, but there really was no way around it. His world had just been turned upside down, with the knowledge that all those Legends were real and now this? I worried for his health, to be true. I mean, look at what had happened to Harry in my time.

"How long." He asked, though his voice sounded hollow.

"Dad, is that really important..." I begged, not wanting to shock him too much, all at once.

"How long." He stressed the words now, eyes completely serious.

I couldn't look at him when I answered, so I averted my eyes back to my lap. "Seventy-seven years," I whispered and tried desperately to ignore the gasp I heard coming from him.

"But how... is that even possible?" I looked at him now, wondering where he was going with this. "Does that mean that you were an old woman, when this happened?" He inquired softly.

I wanted to cry. There was no doubt in his voice, he absolutely believed me and I had never loved him more, than in that exact moment. I quickly smothered the need to pull him into a tight hug, knowing that now wasn't the time for that. I needed to help him through this difficult situation that I had put him in. But first of all, I needed to make him understand, as to the best of my ability.

"Remember The Cold Ones, Dad..." I whispered, once more facing my lap, instead of him. Coward.

When, what felt like minutes, passed by, I finally returned my eyes to my father and did not like what I found. Silent tears ran down his cheeks and his mouth hung open in a complete state of stupor, while his brown orbs held immense pain. The kind I had never seen in them before, not even when Harry died or when he found out that he might not ever see me again, right after I was turned.

"Those bastards..." he finally whispered and I jumped slightly at the enormous amount of hatred in his voice.

"No, Dad," I quickly grabbed his arm, as it seemed he was about to storm over to the Cullens to confront them about something that hadn't even happened yet, "don't blame them. It was something I wanted. I was happy, Dad. Truly." I pleaded with him to understand, as I had for the entire conversation.

He was back to shocked, but I suppose it was better than burning anger. "What do you mean, you wanted it? Why would you want that, honey?" He seemed completely flabbergasted at my response.

This time, I kept my eyes on his. "Because I love Edward Cullen, more than anything." I said and to prove it, I presented him with the ID from the future, that had been in Ren's coat when we were sent back. Not only did it prove that I had indeed traveled through time, but it also said Isabella Marie Cullen.

"You're married," he whispered, after several seconds of staring at the small piece of laminated paper. I only nodded in reply. "Wow, Bells... that's... I can't believe..." his voice seemed to have left him.

Now, to the reason we were having this talk in the first place. "Y'know," I said in a small whisper, "I have a daughter too."

His head quickly snapped up and his shock hadn't been this extreme since it all started. And yet, I could see a tiny glint in his eyes, that looked suspiciously like happiness. I know he hadn't been expecting to become a Grandpa so early, but he wouldn't deny himself the joy of that feeling, just because we were both so young. Then I watched, as he seemed to put two and two together.

"Vanessa Wolfe?" He asked, silently begging me to prove him wrong.

"Actually," I started, sorry that I couldn't help him, "her real name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen... and she has your hair, Dad." I tried to help him along with the acceptance, with that last bit.

I never found out what he was about to say, as he choked on his words. He got a faraway look on his face and I had a feeling that he was picturing the girl he had seen last night, in his head. A small smile slowly spread across his lips as the thought of having a granddaughter and I wondered if now was the time to call on Monster.

"Dad," I said and waited until he was focusing on me again, "do you want me to call her? Have her come over? She can help me fill you in on the rest of the story." I said, though we both knew that that wasn't my reason.

He smiled and nodded. I left him with his thoughts and went into the kitchen, dialing the number for my daughter's cell. She answered within seconds and as soon as I told her that her Grandpa wanted to meet her she hung up on me. I laughed, knowing that she would be her shortly. I also had a feeling that she would not be driving, since that would only take more time than running here. I decided to wait for her in the hallway, giving Dad a chance to get used to all of this, before he was once more presented with Ren. This time, knowing the truth about who she is.

As I stood in the tiny foyer, I felt a presence beside me. It seemed that Dad had lost his patience and decided to join me in waiting for her. There was something in his eyes, that I couldn't quite decipher properly. Until he spoke.

"I can't believe you're a mother, Bells. I'm so proud of you and I'm sure you're a great Mom." He smiled, looking so fatherly it warmed my heart.

"Thanks, Dad." I said with a teary smile.

I wanted to hug him, but Ren chose that moment to burst through the door. She stopped as soon as she stood in front of Dad, speechless and tears in her eyes. They stood like that for a while, just staring at each other. I could see Dad running his eyes over her form, as if he was burning the image of her into his memory. Or maybe he was looking for signs of how much she looked like me. I gathered from the shock in his eyes, that he found what he was searching for.

"Grandpa," she whispered and then threw herself into his arms.

"Renesmee," he replied, squeezing her tightly and I knew, that from now on no matter what I had to tell him, he would accept it. He was too happy not to.

Five minutes later found us back sitting on the couch. This time my daughter sat in between us, since Dad couldn't seem to take his hands off her, constantly holding her arms or running his fingers through the curls she had gotten from him, in much the same way as I always did when I wanted to calm her down. I, of course, already knew that he would instantly take to being a grandfather, but it still surprised me, how well he was taking all of this. A happy kind of surprise, though.

"So," Dad began, finally moving his eyes to mine, "tell me everything, from the beginning." His voice was firm, but I didn't mind. I had always planned on explaining it all, since deciding to come clean.

I took in a deep breath and then began. "Well, I suppose it all started the first time I moved here. I met Edward in school and even though we started off a bit on the wrong foot, I felt strangely drawn to him. I later learned that he had felt the same." I knew I probably shouldn't go into too much detail about our romance in front of my father, but he asked for it all and he would just have to deal with the consequences of that. "It didn't really become anything more than surreptitious glances, until the day he saved my life, the first time."

"June Richardson?" Dad asked, keeping it short and to the point.

This would be hard. "No, actually that didn't happen the first time." His eyes widened but thankfully he kept his comments to himself. It would make it easier for me to get it all out. "Originally, it had happened at the start of the day instead and the car that had collided with me was Tyler Crowley's van. Except, it never hit me."

"Why not?" He asked, truly intrigued, as if I were telling some story from a book.

"Because Edward didn't want me to be hurt, Dad. He ran all the way from the other end of the parking lot, in less than two seconds and grabbed me up in his arms. Then, he put out his hand, stopping the impact of the van, two times." I reminded Dad of the nature of my husband.

He nodded to himself slightly, probably still in shock from the overload of information. I waited for him to calm down and ask his next question. "Then what happened?"

"Well, things started somewhat quickly after that and for five months we were very happy. Then, something happened and shortly after my 18th birthday, he left to protect me." I knew this was an important part for me to mention, so Dad could see that Edward really did want what was best for me. "Due to some misunderstandings, he came back about six months later and we worked through our issues. Not long after Graduation, we got married at the Cullen home."

Dad glanced at his granddaughter swiftly and I knew the question he wasn't asking.

"It happened on the honeymoon. We had been there for about seventeen days, when I noticed something odd. Vampires weren't supposed to be able to procreate, or at least that's what we thought, so Renesmee came as a surprise," I smiled and winked at my daughter, "but definitely a good one. We hurried back to the house here in Forks and within a month, Ren was born." I finished with a huge grin, matching the one on Monster.

Dad's own smile was smaller, as he was still taking it all in, but I knew he would accept in time. He already loved his granddaughter, I could tell. He didn't say anything, knowing that I wasn't done yet, but what was coming next would be difficult for me to say. I didn't want him to disapprove, though I was sure he would.

"Once Renesmee was out, Edward hurried to change me. It was only days after I had woken up as a Cold One, that you came to see me. When you realized that we would leave Forks if you couldn't accept the changes, you decided to acknowledge what had happened, though you refused to hear any details," I laughed, knowing he was probably wanting that same thing right now.

He harrumphed slightly. "Well, I think I'm taking it pretty well," he muttered and I put a hand on his arm, to calm him.

"Yes, Dad," I agreed with him, "you're right. This talk is going much better than I thought it would." I gave him a soft smile, showing my complete honesty. "Now, do you have anymore questions? And, no," I said, when I saw the look on his face, "I will not be telling you how or when or if you die, got it!" I made my voice firm.

He looked slightly perturbed at being caught, but held his tongue on that subject. However, I could tell that he still had more he wanted to know. I would answer everything I could, to the best of my ability and as long as the truth wouldn't be too hurtful or shocking. I wouldn't want him to end up like Harry did in my time, after all.

"Bells," he seemed agitated for some reason, "you told me to remember the Quileute Legends, in order to start this conversation. Now, does that mean that the other stories are true as well?"

I sighed, why did he have to be so smart. "I really can't tell you that, Dad." I said, determined to keep at least some of my promises. Besides, as I said, Dad is a smart man and from my words I was sure he would figure it out himself.

He nodded to himself and was once more lost in thought. I glanced at Monster to see a small smile playing on her lips and I knew she was thinking the same thing that I was. Billy Black was about to be in trouble, once Dad put two and two together when it came to the wolves and as much as I loved the father of my best friend, I couldn't wait for the blowout.

After everything he had done to try and break me up with Edward, he deserved it.

"So," Dad finally spoke up again, "the wolves are real. But which of the Quileutes?" I knew he wasn't really asking me, since he fully respected that I couldn't tell him. But I decided that it couldn't hurt to inform him of the situation in my time, since that was a secret only myself and Ren kept. So in a way, I guess I wouldn't be betraying anyone.

Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

"In my time," Dad looked up, a mischievous glint in his eyes, when he realized what I was doing, "there were two Packs. Each had more than five wolves to its number. They're all very tall and muscular, looking more like 25 year old's than the age they were when they first phased."

I stopped there, feeling like I had helped him enough. I knew that he would now keep his eyes open, whenever he was in La Push and it wouldn't take him long to count Sam and Jared as part of the Pack. And then Paul, when he joined and so on and so on. I mentally patted myself on the back. I had actually done it. I had gotten through the difficult task of informing Dad about every secret I had ever kept from him and he was taking it rather well. I was very proud and enormously happy.

"Dad," but now came the even harder part, "you do know that you can't tell anyone, right? I mean, when the Cullens are around, you have to act ignorant to their secret. Same with when you are in La Push. If they know that you are in on the secret, they'll eventually put the pieces together and I'm not ready for anyone to know about me and Ren just yet." I pleaded for his understanding.

"What about Edward?" He asked the question that I myself had been wondering about, since reappearing in the past.

"I don't know," I sighed, "but for now, I'm not saying anything. I guess... I'm afraid that somehow, it'll ruin everything. I need things to go smoothly." I saw a disapproving look in his eyes and decided to elaborate. "I will tell him eventually, of course. I mean, he deserves to know that he has a daughter. It just wont be happening for a while. I hope you understand. Both of you." I finished, looking to Monster as well.

"I understand, Mom," she smiled and grabbed my hand, "I don't think I'm ready for that myself, either. Not right now, at least." I returned the smile and then glanced at Dad, imploring him with my eyes.

"I don't like it," he said with authority and then sighed, "but I suppose you're old enough, to know what you're doing."

"Thanks, Dad," I said, reaching over for a short hug. I could feel his embarrassment, but did not allow it to become awkward. He would just have to get used to the new Bella.

"Well, now," he said after I let him go again, "I have a lot of thinking to do. This is a lot to take in, in just a few hours. If you'll both excuse me." He left the house and I heard the cruiser pull out of the driveway.

I had no idea where he was going, but I knew that he was right. This was something he needed to do by himself.

However, tomorrow I would have to fill him in on the different gifts of my family, so he could better control himself around them. I knew that Edward had always had a hard time reading Dad, but just in case, he had to make sure that the thoughts at his forefront, were not about me or Ren. At least not the truth about us.

As for Alice, I have no idea why she hasn't seen anything yet. And I know she hasn't, otherwise she would've confronted us by now. But I was sure those questions would soon be answered, as long as my relationship with my husband moved along as planned. If it did, it wouldn't be long before I was introduced to the rest of my family and maybe then, things could finally start to take off.

I needed something to go right, for once.


	8. Intense Imaginations

**Intense Imaginations**

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
March 6th, 2005**

* * *

I told Dad that I had a lot of homework to catch up on and I didn't want anything to eat. I wanted to give him a chance to work through everything and I needed to take some time to think about my nightmare the night before. There was a basketball game on that he was excited about and I knew that while he needed to think things over, he also needed some normality back in his life.

He had come back about half an hour ago, from his mysterious drive. I still had no idea where he had been, but I knew better than to ask. This was private and I would let it stay that way. After how well he had taken everything, I knew I had to give him something in return.

Monster had returned home, not long after Dad had come back. She stayed to make sure she got a goodbye from him and a goodnight, but she had her own homework to finish, before school tomorrow. She was also planning on using tonight for sleep. I knew that a part of Dad was sad that she was living so far away and I understood where he was coming from. I didn't like the thought of her on her own either, even if she had been living with her husband in my time.

Things were different now, after all.

Once in my room, I locked the door. I dug through my desk until I found my old headphones and I plugged them into my little CD player. I missed my mp7 player. I picked up the CD that Phil had given to me for Christmas, remembering how helpful it had been last time. It was one of my favorite bands and they used just enough bass and shrieking for me to use them for this purpose. I popped it into place and lay down on my bed. I put on the headphones, hit play and turned up the volume until it almost hurt my ears. I closed my eyes, but the light still intruded and so I added a pillow over the top half of my face.

I let the music flow over me, as I pictured the nightmare in my head, once again. With the singer's voice blaring in my head, I would be better able to get the feel of the emotions I had felt during the dream. Don't ask me why, that's just the way it was. And it worked. The shattering beats made it possible for me to empty my head and think only of the nightmare. I listened to the CD again and again, imagining the disturbing dream in my mind, until I fell asleep.

 _I opened my eyes to a familiar place. Aware in some corner of my consciousness that I was dreaming, I recognized the bright light of the previous nightmare. It was different this time, though. I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks somewhere nearby. I was trying to follow the sound, hoping to find some answers, but then Jake was there, tugging on my hand, pulling me back toward the sudden blackness to the right of the light. I didn't panic, as I looked at the tall, muscular, burning warm body of my best friend._

 _"Jake, what's wrong?" I asked. His face was twisted with anger and fear, as he yanked with all his strength against my resistance; I didn't want to go into the dark._

 _"Run, Bells, you have to run!" he whispered, intense._

 _"This way, love," I recognized the voice of my husband, calling out of the gloomy darkness, but I couldn't see him._

 _"Why?" I asked both of them, still pulling against Jake's grasp, desperate now to find the ocean._

 _But then Jacob let go of my hand and yelped, suddenly shaking, falling to the dim forest floor. He twitched on the ground as I watched in horror. "Jake!" I screamed, but he was gone. In his place was the russet colored version of his wolf, staring into the brightness with black eyes. He faced away from me, nose pointing towards the shore, the hair on the back of his shoulders bristling, low growls issuing from between his exposed fangs._

 _"Bella, run," Edward painfully whispered again from behind me. But I didn't turn. I was watching a light coming toward me, from the beach._

 _And then, the stranger from my future stepped out from the trees, his skin covered in a slight sheen of orange, as if on fire, his blue eyes shining inhumanly and dangerously. He held up one hand and beckoned me to come to him. The wolf growled at my feet. Unwillingly, I took a step forward, drawn to the mysterious man. He smiled then, white teeth shocking against his tanned and burning skin._

 _"Trust me," he purred. I took another step._

 _The wolf launched himself across the space between me and the stranger, fangs aiming for the jugular. I watched in horror as the man lifted his arms slowly, preparing for the coming attack and I knew. I knew Jake would not survive._

"No!" I screamed, wrenching upright and out of my bed.

My sudden movement caused the headphones to pull the CD player off the bedside table and it clattered to the wooden floor. My light was still on and I was sitting fully dressed on the bed, with my shoes on. I glanced, disoriented, at the clock on my dresser. _05:33_. I groaned, fell back and rolled over onto my face, kicking off my boots. I was too uncomfortable to get anywhere near sleep, though. I rolled back over and unbuttoned my slacks, yanking them off awkwardly as I tried to stay horizontal.

I could feel the braid Monster had made last night, an uncomfortable ridge along the back of my skull. I turned onto my side and ripped the rubber band out, quickly combing through the plaits with my fingers. I pulled the pillow back over my eyes. It was all no use, of course. My subconscious had dredged up exactly the images that I had thought I wanted to see, but I had been wrong. It had been too much, when the truth of my nightmare had been revealed, but now, I was going to have to face it.

I sat up and my head spun for a minute as the blood flowed downward. First things first, I thought to myself, happy to put it off as long as possible. I grabbed my bathroom bag. The shower didn't last nearly as long as I had hoped it would, though. Even taking the time to blow-dry my hair, I was soon out of things to do in the bathroom. Wrapped in a towel, I crossed back to my room. I went to look out my window and the cruiser was gone. Apparently he had headed off to work early.

I dressed slowly in my most comfortable jeans and loose sweater, then made my bed. Something I never did. I couldn't put it off any longer, so I went downstairs and pulled on my jacket. I still had a few hours before school started and I remembered the place I had used last time, to sort through my dreams. It wouldn't take long to get there and I pulled on my boots, grabbed the keys and stomped out the door. I hated it, but it was unavoidable. I had to figure out my nightmare.

It was overcast, but I knew the sun would be out in time for school. I ignored my new truck and started east on foot, angling across Dad's yard toward the ever-encroaching forest. It didn't take long until I was deep enough for the house and the road to be invisible, for the only sound to be the squish of the damp earth under my feet and the sudden cries of the jays. There was a thin ribbon of a trail that led through the forest here and I followed it quietly.

My sense of direction was hopeless, even if I was going somewhere I had been before; I could get lost in much less helpful surroundings. The trail wound deeper and deeper into the forest, mostly east as far as I could tell. It snaked around the Sitka spruces and the hemlocks, the yews and the maples. I only vaguely knew the names of the trees around me and all I knew was due to Esme pointing them out to me, when I helped her in the garden. I no longer had photographic memory, after all.

There were many I didn't know and others I couldn't be sure about because they were so covered in green parasites. I followed the trail as long as my fear pushed me forward. As that started to ebb, I slowed. A few drops of moisture trickled down from the canopy above me, but I couldn't be certain if it was beginning to rain or if it was simply pools left over from yesterday, held high in the leaves above me, slowly dripping their way back to the earth. Just because it would be sunny in a few hours, didn't rule out rain right now.

I finally came across the recently fallen tree, resting against the trunk of one of her sisters, creating the sheltered little bench I remembered, just a few safe feet off the trail. I stepped over the ferns and sat carefully, making sure my jacket was between the damp seat and my clothes wherever they touched and leaned my hooded head back against the living tree. This was the right place to have come. The forest was deep green and a lot like the scene from my latest nightmare.

Now that there was no longer the sound of my soggy footsteps, the silence was piercing. The birds were quiet too, the drops increasing in frequency, so it must be raining above now. The ferns stood higher than my head, now that I was seated and I knew someone could walk by on the path, three feet away and not see me. Here in the trees it was much easier to consider the reality of my nightmare. I forced myself to focus on the two most vital questions I had to answer, but I did so unwillingly. It made everything too real for my liking.

First, I had to decide if the manifestation of my Jake and Edward were a figment of my imagination, or the future trying to make contact with me.

Immediately my mind responded with a thundering negative.

It was silly to entertain such ridiculous notions. But what, then? I asked myself. There was no rational explanation for how I was here now, at this moment. So why shouldn't it be possible, for my family to attempt to reach me, here in the past. I listed in my head, the things that were notable about the dream. The first one, was my son-in-law. It was definitely the Jake that I knew, even without him phasing that had been clear. The way he looked at me, spoke to me, attempted to protect me. That was the best friend that I had missed.

Edward. I did not get to see his beautiful face in the dream, but his voice was clear. He was begging for me to come to him, to come back home maybe, but how? I remember the clear anguish undisguised in his tone and felt a stab of pain at the thought. How could I not have considered how he must be dealing with all of this?

To be honest, I had just expected the future I came from, to have been erased when I returned here, waiting for my choices to rewrite it. But maybe I was wrong and they were all wondering where me and Ren were.

The thought brought my fingers up to rub at my temples, feeling the headache gaining strength. So then, maybe. That would have to be my answer for now.

And then, the most important question of all. Did I still have to fear the stranger, responsible for my time travel?

And not just me, but my family, both in the future and here. I know that he had seemed surprised by what had happened, but that didn't necessarily mean that he wasn't aware of what had occurred. Could he travel through time as well? And if not, would he leave my family alone, once he learned that getting to me would be impossible? If the stranger had deadly intentions – I could hardly make myself think the words – then what should I do?

Involving someone else was definitely out. As much maturity as Monster had shown, she was still my little girl and I would not put her in danger if I didn't have to. Dad was new to all of this and had no way of protecting himself, so that was out as well. My family didn't know anything in this time and the same went for the Pack, which only consisted of two at the moment anyway.

Only two options seemed practical. The first was to ignore it, until it presented itself as a problem. Live out my second life as I had already planned and wait for the attack that may or may not come. To pretend that I hadn't been in contact with that strange man, put him out of my mind. Truly start over. I was gripped in sudden revulsion and despair, as I considered that alternative.

My mind rejected it immediately, quickly skipping on to the next option.

I could do nothing different on the outside, yet keep myself prepared for the chance of an attack. Have Monster do a perimeter check every once in a while, since she had his scent imprinted in her mind. Make sure he could not catch us off guard. Always keep the memory of him and his attack, at the back of my mind, never truly letting myself forget him.

That way, the chance of survival, for both me and my daughter, as well as my two families, would be that much higher.

Yes, that did sound more like me. My body did not reject this and I knew I had come to the right conclusion. The moral one.

There was one thing I was sure of, if I was sure of anything. The dark and dangerous stranger in my dream last night was a reflection of my fear of the unknown, as opposed to a fear of him. I had been through too much in both my human and Vampiric life, to truly see one, lone man as a real threat, no matter how malevolent he appeared.

Even so, when I'd screamed out in terror at the shape-shifters lunge, it wasn't for fear of the outcome of the attack, but the thought of what the man's power might do to my best friend. As much as I had accepted this second chance, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Especially not when I had been perfectly happy with my existence, prior to the attack. I couldn't imagine that man, putting someone else I loved through the same thing.

And I knew in tha,t I had my answer. I didn't know if there was ever a choice, really. I was too frightened of the consequences, to just sit still and do nothing. Now that I knew, if I knew, I could do my best with what little I had. Because when I thought of him, the glow of his power, the magnetic force of the emerald, I wanted nothing more than to stop him for good, before he hurt my husband or my brothers and sisters. Even if it meant...

And now I finally understood Edward's reasons for leaving me. The need to protect the people I loved, overrode the need to stay with my husband forever. I would give up everything to keep my family safe, even my own life... but I couldn't think about it.

Not here, alone in the wet forest. Not while the rain made it dim as twilight under the canopy and pattered like footsteps across the matted earthen floor. I shivered and rose quickly from my place of concealment, worried that somehow the path would have disappeared with the rain. But it was there, safe and clear, winding its way out of the dripping green maze. I followed it hastily, my hood pulled close around my face, as I nearly ran through the trees. I began to glimpse some open spaces through the webbed branches and then I could hear a car passing on the street, and I was free, Dad's lawn stretched out in front of me, the house beckoning me, promising warmth and dry socks.

It was just past seven when I got back inside. I went upstairs and collected my finished homework, packing it up in my bag. Realizing that I had not completed the paper that was due today, I sat down at my desk, grabbed my pen and quickly put the final touches on it. The whole process took about twenty minutes and when I was done, stuffing the rest of my things into my messenger bag, I saw the bright yellow light out of the corner of my eye.

I skipped to the window, stunned to see that there was hardly a cloud in the sky, though it had been pouring less than an hour ago. I opened the window, smiling when it opened silently, knowing the cause of that, and sucked in the relatively dry air. It was nearly warm and hardly windy at all. My blood was electric in my veins.

When I came back downstairs, I saw that Dad was in the kitchen, finishing some bacon and toast for breakfast. I had been wrong, he hadn't gone to work early. So where had he been?

"Morning Dad," I said, causing him to jump and turn to look at me. I guess he hadn't heard my approach.

"Eh, morning, Bells," he responded, after catching his breath, "how was your night?" The question seemed innocent enough, but I wondered if he hadn't heard some tossing and turning. Perhaps some sleep talking.

"It was alright..." I decided that in order to change our relationship, honesty was key, "I had a nightmare though," he saw that I was not in the mood to discuss it and changed the subject.

"Nice day out," he commented.

"Yes," I agreed with a grin, happy for the change, "it is, isn't it."

He smiled back, his brown eyes crinkling around the edges. When Dad smiled, it was easier to see why he and Mom had jumped too quickly into an early marriage. Most of the young romantic he'd been in those days had faded before I'd known him, as the curly brown hair – the same color, if not the same texture, as mine – had dwindled, slowly revealing more and more of the shiny skin of his forehead. But when he smiled I could see a little of the man who had run away with Renee when she was just two years older than I was now.

I ate breakfast cheerily for the weather, though it meant no Cullens, watching the dust moats stirring in the sunlight that streamed in the back window. Dad said goodbye while I was still eating, patting my arm as he passed me and soon I heard the cruiser pull away from the house.

I hesitated on my way out the door, hand on my rain jacket. I couldn't remember if I had needed it the first time around and decided not to tempt fate. With a sigh, I folded it over my arm and stepped out into the brightest light I'd seen since arriving back here.

With the press of a button, I easily rolled down both windows of my new truck, letting the somewhat warm air in as I drove. I was one of the first ones to school, despite my morning visit to the woods; I hadn't even checked the clock on my way out the door. I parked and headed toward the seldom-used picnic benches on the south side of the cafeteria. The benches were still a little damp, so I sat on my jacket, glad to have a use for it.

My homework for the next couple of days was done, but there were a few Trig problems I had to work out before the end of the week. There would be a test on Thursday. I had no problem with the math itself, thanks to decades of repetitive school, but I still had to do the work. I took out my book industriously, but halfway through rechecking the first problem, I was daydreaming, watching the sunlight play on the red-barked trees. I sketched inattentively along the margins of my homework. After a few minutes, I suddenly realized I'd drawn five pairs of bright eyes, staring out of the page at me. I scrubbed them out with the eraser.

"Bella!" I heard someone call, and it sounded like Mike.

I looked around to realize that the school had become populated while I'd been sitting there, absentminded. Everyone was in t-shirts, some even in shorts though the temperature couldn't be over sixty. Mike was coming toward me in khaki shorts and a striped Rugby shirt, waving. He still hadn't learned.

"Hi, Mike," I called slowly, trying to inject my voice with irritation. Obviously, subtlety wasn't getting the message across.

He came to sit by me, the tidy spikes of his hair shining golden in the light, his grin stretching across his face. He was so delighted to see me, I couldn't help but feel the irritation grow infinitesimally. Didn't he notice the frown on my face or did he just not care?

"I never noticed before, your hair has red in it," he commented, reaching out a hand to catch a strand in his fingers.

Before he had a chance, though, I brushed it back in mock-ignorance.

"Only in the sun." I became even more uncomfortable, as he seemed entranced by the color of my hair, blowing in the slight wind.

"Great day, isn't it?"

"My kind of day," I agreed, reluctantly. I wanted him to realize that I wasn't interested, but I didn't want to be too rude.

Maybe he could still become a good friend, if he would just see.

"What did you do yesterday?" His tone was just a bit too proprietary.

"I went to Olympia with Vanessa and got a new car," I said, pointing at my baby in the parking lot, "spent some time with my dad and finished my essay for English." I said, trying to keep the smugness out of my voice.

He hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Oh yeah, that's due Thursday, right?"

"Um, Wednesday, actually." I replied.

"Wednesday?" He frowned. "That's not good... What are you writing yours on?"

"Whether Shakespeare's treatment of the female characters is misogynistic." He stared at me like I'd just spoken in pig Latin.

"I guess I'll have to get to work on that tonight," he said, deflated. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go out."

"Oh," I was taken off guard, not remembering this from the first time around.

"Well, we could go to dinner or something... and I could work on it later." He smiled at me hopefully.

"Mike..." I hated the person he brought out in me, so I pushed her back down. "I don't think that would be the best idea."

His face fell. "Why?" he asked, his eyes guarded. My thoughts flickered to Edward and I knew that that's where his thoughts were as well.

"I think... and if you ever repeat what I'm saying right now I will cheerfully beat you to death," I threatened, "but I think that would hurt Jessica's feelings."

He was bewildered, obviously not thinking in that direction at all. "Jessica?"

"Really, Mike, are you blind?"

"Oh," he exhaled, clearly dazed. I took advantage of that to make my escape.

"It's time for class and I can't be late." I gathered my books up and stuffed them in my bag.

We walked in silence to building three and his expression was distracted. I hoped whatever thoughts he was immersed in, were leading him in the right direction.

When I saw Jessica in Trig, she was bubbling with enthusiasm. She and Lauren were going to Port Angeles tonight to go dress shopping for the dance and she wanted me to come too, even though I didn't need one. I accepted, knowing it would be canceled when Mike asked Jessica out, later today. She talked of nothing but the dance on the way to Spanish, continuing as if without an interruption when class finally ended, five minutes late and we were on our way to lunch.

At the cafeteria doors we split up, as I walked to my usual table where Monster was waiting with food at the ready. I smiled at her and looked at the empty seat, silently asking where Angela was. She tipped her head toward the food-line, where I saw the tall figure of my friend, talking to her boyfriend. I wondered if they would be sitting with us today or with Ben's friends. My question was answered when the couple split up and Angela headed towards our table.

Angela asked a few quiet questions about the Macbeth paper, which I answered as naturally as I could, while my mind was stuck on dark thoughts. She too, invited me and Ren to come to Port Angeles with her, since she was in need of a dress as well. However, she planned the trip for tomorrow and that did not calm my spirits. I immediately accepted and then gestured to Monster that I had important things to discuss with her.

There were many things I had kept from my daughter, but I couldn't avoid this any longer. Not with those four men still on the loose.

The rest of the day passed slowly, dismally. In Gym, we had a lecture on the rules of badminton, the next torture they had lined up for me. But at least I wasn't as bad as I had been the first time and it also meant I got to sit and listen instead of attempting the actual game. The best part was that the coach didn't finish, so I got another day off tomorrow. Never mind that the day after that, they would arm me with a racket before unleashing me on the rest of the class.

I was glad to leave campus, so I would be free to plan out what would happen tomorrow, hopefully with Ren's help. I was not surprised, when just after arriving home, Jessica called to cancel our plans for the evening. I tried to be happy that Mike had asked her out to dinner, I really was relieved that he had finally taken the hints, but my enthusiasm sounded false in my own ears. She rescheduled our shopping trip for tomorrow night, but I told her I already had plans.

As I waited for Monster to finish her hunting trip and Dad to return from work, I tried to find a distraction from my thoughts. I had fish marinating for dinner, with a salad and bread, so there was nothing to do there. I spent a focused half hour on my newest homework, but then I was through with that too. I checked my e-mail, reading the backlog of letters from Mom, getting snippier as they progressed to the present. I sighed and typed a quick response.

 _Mom,_

 _Sorry. I've been out. I went to the b each with some friends and I had a paper to write. Yesterday I was in Olympia with Vanessa and I b ought a new car. A truck, like the other one, but newer._

 _It's sunny outside today, I know, I'm shocked too, so I'm going to go outside and soak up as much vitamin D as I can._

 _You just saw me a few days ago, calm down._

 _Say hi to Phil._

 _I love you,_

 _Bella._

I decided to kill an hour with non-school-related reading. I had a small collection of books that came with me to Forks, the shabbiest volume being a compilation of the works of Jane Austen. Though it wasn't as worn as the one I had in the future, to my husbands dismay. I selected that one and headed out to the backyard, grabbing a ragged old quilt from the linen cupboard at the top of the stairs, on my way down.

Outside in Dad's small, square yard, I folded the quilt in half and laid it out of reach of the tree's shadows on the thick lawn that would always be slightly wet, no matter how long the sun shone. I lay on my stomach, crossing my ankles in the air, flipping through the different novels in the book, trying to decide which would occupy my mind the most thoroughly. My favorites were Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility, only this time, they could not capture my attention as I wished.

I snapped the book shut, annoyed, and rolled over onto my back. I pushed my sleeves up as high as they would go and closed my eyes. I would think of nothing but the warmth on my skin, I told myself severely. The breeze was still light, but it blew tendrils of my hair around my face and that tickled a bit. I pulled all my hair over my head, letting it fan out on the quilt above me and focused again on the heat that touched my eyelids, my cheekbones, my nose, my lips, my forearms, my neck, soaked through my light shirt...

The next thing I was conscious of, was the feel of someone shaking me, speaking softly into my ear. I sat up in surprise, realizing the light was almost gone, behind the trees and I had fallen asleep. I looked around, muddled, with the sudden feeling that I wasn't alone. And it didn't have anything to do with the young girl, currently kneeling beside me, looking at me with worry.

"Bella," she said and I realized that my husband must be nearby, watching and listening, "I've been trying to wake you for minutes now. Are you okay?" I saw how deep that question actually went, in her eyes.

"Yeah," I replied groggily, "I'm fine. Help me get this stuff inside, okay." I couldn't put it off any longer.

"Sure," she said and bunched up the blanket as I grabbed my book and sweater.

We walked into the house and I busied myself with the food cooking, while she put the quilt away in the upstairs cupboard. I was waiting for the sign from her, that Edward had headed back home, though I wasn't sure how long that would take. Things would be so much easier, once I could tell him that I knew his secret.

"So," Ren said, as she came back into the kitchen, "what was with you at lunch, Mom?" I knew she was letting me know that we were free to speak now.

I sighed and my shoulders hunched. "There is something we need to talk about. Something no one told you about, because we didn't want to scare you."

Of course, that only put a glint of fear in her brown eyes. "What are you talking about, Mom?"

"You remember what Aunt Rose told you, about how she came into her existence?" I didn't want to go into too much detail.

"Yes," she said, her voice shaking, "why?" Her eyes were intent, frightened.

"Well," I began, not sure how to formulate myself, "the same thing... almost happened to me. Tomorrow, actually." I saw her questioning look. "Your Dad saved me, just in time, honey."

"Oh God, Mom," she let out a deep breath and came up to hug me from behind, as I stood in front of the stove, "I can't believe it. What happened exactly?" I knew she was mature enough to handle it, but the motherly instinct in me still wanted to protect her from the truth.

"I went dress shopping with Jessica and Angela. I wanted to find a bookstore and we agreed to meet up at the restaurant later, as I went off alone. After realizing that I wouldn't be finding anything useful in the store, I decided to go further, wondering if Jessica hadn't had another one in mind, when she gave me directions. Suddenly, I realized that I was lost."

I could feel Monster's heart beating even faster than usually, as her chest was pressed up against my back in comfort. I patted the arm wrapped around my stomach and turned in her embrace. Putting my hands on her shoulders, I guided her to one of the kitchen chairs, sat her down, took the seat across from her and then continued.

"On my way back what I thought was the way I came, I walked past four men. They seemed a bit intoxicated, but I didn't think too much on it. Until I noticed that two of them were following me." Ren let out a small whine, but otherwise kept quiet. "Before long they had me boxed in and I realized that they had been herding me, guiding me exactly where they wanted me to go. The four of them surrounded me, but before they could do more than talk, the revved engine of a car could be heard." She sighed in relief, seeing that I was out of danger in the story.

"Your Dad saved me and we took off for the restaurant where Jessica and Angela were waiting." I waited for her to let my words sink in, in case she had any questions.

"What happened to the men, Mom?" I was glad that I could actually answer this one.

"Well, a few years after I married your Dad, he told me the truth about that night, while I had been sleeping in my bed here." She smiled at the thought of her father protecting me, even when I didn't know it. "He went to Carlisle and the two went back to Port Angeles, so Edward could show him where the men were. Then, too overwhelmed by certain... thoughts, Edward left Carlisle to handle it." I knew she understood what I wasn't saying. "Carlisle injected the men with some tranquilizer and then dropped them off at a police station. Apparently they were wanted in a few other states and they ended up getting life, for murder." I said solemnly, thinking about those poor women.

Monster patted my hand across the table. "Don't worry, Mom, we wont let them cause anymore trouble. Grandpa will be home soon, but when it's time for bed, we'll make some plans for tomorrow." She tried to comfort my fear with her words.

"What about Angela?" I asked.

"We'll go out as planned and then find an excuse to leave her for a little while. Making sure she is out of the danger area, of course." She said firmly, the thought of our friend being hurt not sitting well with her.

I smiled at the protectiveness she felt for Angela, knowing it matched my own. The tall, quiet girl, had quickly become like family to us and I knew it would hurt even more to leave her behind, than it had the first time around.

I heard the sound of Dad's cruiser turning onto the bricks of the driveway and sat straight up in my chair in surprise. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten, as I looked out the window and saw that it was now completely dark. I jumped up and went back to the stove, asking Ren to set the plates, knowing she would be joining us tonight. Some of it was for Dad's sake, so he could spend some more time with his granddaughter, but mostly, it was for me and my piece of mind.

Dad was hanging up his gun belt and stepping out of his boots, when I called out to him. "Sorry, Dad, dinner's not ready yet, I fell asleep outside." I stifled a yawn, feeling tired after the day I had had, filled with worries.

"Don't worry about it," he said, "I wanted to catch the score on the game, anyway." He turned straight for the living room, without peeking into the kitchen.

He was pleasantly surprised, when I called that dinner was ready and he came in to see Monster sitting next to his usual seat. She smiled hugely at him and gave him a small hug when he sat down. I served the food and the conversation was quiet, but not the uncomfortable kind. Even if Ren and I had other, more horrifying things on our minds.

The three of us sat down to watch TV after dinner, leaving the channel on some movie that Monster had never seen before. Dad seemed okay with missing the game, as he watched Ren's reactions to the comedy we had found. Every time she laughed, his smile grew just a little bit more. I hid my own behind my hand, glad to see him this way. It was something I hadn't seen the first time around, until I had introduced him to his granddaughter, so obviously only she could bring that out in him.

I wasn't jealous. Really.

"Dad," I said, during a commercial, "Ren and I are going to help Angela find a dress for the dance tomorrow night in Port Angeles, is that okay?" We both knew I was an adult inside, but I wanted to keep as much normality in the house as possible.

"Angela Weber?" he asked.

"Yes," I sighed, not understanding the need to protect me from my schoolmates.

He was confused. "But neither of you are going to the dance, right?"

"No, Dad, but we're helping her find a dress. You know, giving her constructive criticism." I wouldn't have to explain this to a woman.

"Well, okay." He seemed to realize that he was out of his depth with the girlie stuff. "It's a school night, though."

"We're leaving right after school, so we can get back early. You'll be okay for dinner, right?"

"Bells, I fed myself for seventeen years before you got here," he reminded me.

"I don't know how you survived," I muttered, then added more clearly, "I'll leave some things for cold-cut sandwiches in the fridge, okay? Right on top."

He reluctantly agreed and I rose from the couch, wanting to get to bed early in case I had another nightmare tonight. I needed all the sleep I could get. I glanced at Ren, wondering if I should let Dad in on what would happen tomorrow night.

Dad seemed to catch the silent exchange and stared me down with a superior look. Guess that answered that question.

"Dad," I said in a solemn voice, "the last time, something happened. Or... almost happened. There are four men in Port Angeles, who..." I couldn't finish, but he got what I wasn't saying.

"Did something happen to you, Bells?" He asked, pain clear in his eyes.

"No, Grandpa, Dad saved her before it was too late. But we don't want them to hurt anyone else, instead." My daughter spoke up and I mentally thanked her.

"Is that why you're going to Port Angeles, honey," he asked Monster, "to do something about it?"

"No, Dad," I cut in, "it really did start because Angela asked us to come with her. That's when I remembered what had almost happened. But Ren is right, we can't just do nothing."

He sighed and then seemed lost in thought for a moment. After a pause, he spoke again. "Alright. You girls go along with Angela as planned and then we'll meet up there later. It'll be more convincing if I'm the one who brings them in." He said with authority.

"Okay, Grandpa." Monster agreed. "Mom and I will discuss what to do tonight and then we'll fill you in on the plans in the morning, is that okay?"

I think he realized that we knew more about this than he did, because he conceded without complaint and let us go upstairs. I felt a bit better, knowing we had a Police Chief on our side. His testimony would even help in court, I knew, so those horrible men could get the time they deserved for their awful crimes. I smiled, knowing that once again, something was going right.

It was sunny again in the morning. I awakened with renewed hope, from the plans that had been made the night before. They were simple, giving them a better chance of working. I dressed for the warmer weather in a deep blue V-neck blouse, the one my husband had loved so much. I felt more emotionally capable of dealing with the memories now, than I had when I first came back, due to the progress I was making in that particular relationship.

Telling Dad the plan for tonight made me late for school. I barely had time to get to class. I parked in the last row and hurried to English, arriving breathless before the final bell. It was the same as yesterday. Repetitive classes, gossiping students and quiet lunch hour. Angela was a bit excited for the trip, since we had had so much fun together in Seattle and Jessica told me about her date with Mike in Spanish. Other than that, there was nothing special to report.

After school, I followed Angela home in my truck, knowing that mine would get better mileage than hers and then we passed the station to pick up Monster. The story I had told Angela was that she was worried about her parents, since she hadn't heard from them in a while. In reality, her and Dad was finishing up the final touches to our plan. That actually included the part about her fake parents.

Dad had put his foot down and said that his young granddaughter wasn't going to continue living on her own. So now, we had to come up with a reason for Dad to adopt her. Maybe some horrid accident on one of her parents travels or something to that extent. On the outside I agreed with Ren's words that she could handle herself, but inside? Inside I was thrilled. I missed having my daughter around, whenever I needed her.

Like Alice and Jake, she was my best friend.

When we reached the station, I told Angela to wait outside, as I raced inside quickly to pick up Monster. I waved at the receptionist and went down past the row of desks, to the Chief's office. The door was closed and the blinds shut, so I knew that they were still talking. I knocked softly on the door and entered. Dad's irritated expression changed, once he saw who it was.

"Hey Dad," I gave him a smile, "I'm here to get Ren."

"Sure, honey," he returned my grin, "we were just talking about the plans for her relocation." He said in strong words.

Obviously Monster was still resisting.

"I don't understand why this is necessary, Grandpa," she whined, "I'm older than I look, I can take care of myself. I mean, for crying out loud, I'm married." She said, pulling the necklace that held her ring out from under her shirt. That was not the right move.

"You're what!" Dad exclaimed, causing me to roll my eyes. Here we go.

"What, Grandpa?" She was shocked. She didn't know him as well as I did, apparently.

"Married? But... you're so young." He said, forgetting for a moment that her mind was older than her body.

"No I'm not, I'm older than you." She said, still a bit confused. I swallowed my laugh.

His eyes widened. "Right, forgot about that," he sighed, "still. Married?" He was now looking at me.

"Hey don't look at me like that, Dad. She waited twenty years before marrying the man she had been dating for just as long, so it's not like she didn't know what she was doing. Besides, Jake's great, you know that." Oops, I thought, as my eyes widened when I realized what I'd just revealed.

"Jake?" He said, rising from his chair. "Jacob Black?" His voice was reaching dangerous planes now.

"Relax, Grandpa," Ren pleaded, "it's fine. Didn't you always wonder what it would be like to have him as a son-in-law? I'm sure you and Billy have discussed that before. So this is a bit different, but still..." I wasn't sure how much good her words were doing.

He sighed and slumped back into his chair. "So," he said, defeated, "I suppose this means that Jake is one of those wolves, huh?" He seemed tired all of a sudden.

"Not for another year, but yeah." I answered and he just nodded in response.

I glanced at Ren, sensing that this was our cue to leave. But first, we had to get our plans clear, so nothing would go wrong. I went around the desk and put a hand on Dad's back, trying to soothe his taut nerves. He sighed one last time and then looked back up at me, a small smile on his face. I realized that he wasn't taking it all as well as I had thought, he just had a good poker face.

I wish he wouldn't hide things like that from me.

"So," I said, turning my glance onto Monster, "what did you guys figure out? Any changes to the plan?" Dad was the one who answered.

"Not much, your plan wasn't too bad." He said, a proud smile on his lips. I had learned from the best, after all. "At some point, just before sundown, you'll excuse yourselves from Angela and walk toward the place where you remember them being." I could tell he didn't like leaving it in our hands. "I stay near, but not in an obvious way, since Edward will be watching you." I was surprised by the lack of hostility in his voice. Apparently, he was okay with the stalkerish nature of my husband, if it was saving my life.

"Then," Ren took over now, "we'll let them lure us behind the warehouse as originally, wait for Dad to save us and then drive off. That's when Grandpa will sweep in and save the day," she finished with a small laugh.

Dad grumbled something about kids disrespecting their elders under his breath, which made me laugh as well. I gave him a hug, he was getting better at that too, grabbed Ren and left the office. We walked, arm in arm, through the small station and out to the parking lot, where Angela was waiting patiently for our arrival.

As we got into our seats, Monster started up a conversation with Angela, both seated in the back, intentionally leaving me to my thoughts. Tonight would be one of slightly epic proportions. This would be the final test, to see if there was anything I could truly change. When I changed the non-impact with Tyler's van, the consequences ended up being much worse than I could've anticipated.

Hopefully that wouldn't be the case tonight.

My hopes increased exponentially as we actually drove out of the town limits.


	9. Ominous Outcomes

**Ominous Outcomes**

* * *

 **Washington Highway  
March 8th, 2005**

* * *

Used to the speed of a vampire, I drove much faster than Dad would've accepted, so we made it to Port Angeles by four.

It had been a while since our trip to Seattle and the estrogen rush was invigorating. We listened to whiny rock songs while Angela talked about how things were going between her and Ben. Apparently he had taken her out for dinner in Port Angeles this weekend and had been a real gentleman. She blushed as she described him holding the door open for her and pulling out her chair. I smiled, thinking how much I was used to that from my husband.

Port Angeles was a beautiful little tourist trap, much more polished and quaint than Forks. But Angela already knew it well, so she didn't plan to waste time on the picturesque boardwalk by the bay. I drove straight to the one big department store in town, making sure to wait for Angela's instructions so she wouldn't be suspicious, which was a few streets from the bay area's visitor-friendly face.

The dance was billed as semi-formal and Angela wasn't exactly sure what that meant. She was surprised and almost disbelieving, when I told her that I'd never been to a dance in Phoenix. Ren played along, acting shocked as well.

"Didn't you ever go with a boyfriend or something?" Angela asked, as we walked through the front doors or the store.

"Really," I tried to convince her, "I've never had a boyfriend or anything close. I didn't go out much." Which was the truth, if I had been the original Bella.

"Why not?" Monster chimed in, earning herself a glare.

"No one asked me," I answered honestly.

Angela looked skeptical, but not the way Jessica had the first time. "People ask you out here," she softly reminded me, "and you turn them down." We were in the junior's section now, scanning the racks for dress-up clothes. "Well, except for Eric," she amended quickly.

"Excuse me," I gasped, "what did you say?"

Ren giggled and answered. "Eric told everyone that he's taking you to prom." Oh that traitor, I thought, looking at my daughter's grinning eyes.

"He said _what_?" It sounded like I was choking, I was sure. Tyler, now that hadn't really surprised me so much, but Eric?

Sweet, smart, valedictorian Eric?

"I knew it wasn't true," Angela mumbled to herself. I knew there was a reason I liked her. I was silent, still lost in shock that was quickly turning to irritation. But we had found the dress racks and now we had work to do. "That's why Lauren doesn't like you," she said, "because her friend Katie has a crush on Eric."

"Katie Marshall?" I asked and she nodded. Now that I thought about it, I remembered the two of them dating in our senior year.

I ground my teeth. "Do you think that if I ran him over with my truck he would stop daydreaming about something that will never happen?"

"Maybe," Angela snickered and that was it. After all, Angela wasn't Jessica, thank God.

The dress selection wasn't large, but she soon found a few things to try on. I sat on a low chair just inside the dressing room, by the three-way mirror, while Ren was inside with Angela, helping her out. She ended up choosing the same one as she had the first time, a pale pink dress that draped around her tall frame nicely and brought out the honey tints in her light brown hair. I complimented her generously and helped return the reject dresses to their respective racks.

The whole process was much shorter and easier than the last time around, no longer filled with annoying gossip and drivel that made up Jessica's entire vocabulary. We headed over to shoes and accessories, just as I spotted them at the front doors. I ducked down, laughing and pulled Ren and Angela with me.

"What?" Monster whispered and I pointed to the direction I had seen them in.

"Oh God," Angela laughed and then covered her own mouth to silence the sounds of her giggles.

Jessica, Lauren and Katie had just walked in to the store and none of us wanted to deal with them right now, so, we hid.

When we were sure they were deeply imbedded into the dress section of the department store, we got out from under our concealment and continued through the large room.

While Angela and Ren tried on things, I merely watched and critiqued, not in the mood to shop for myself, though I did need new shoes. I glanced at my clock and realized that it was almost time for us to make our escape, but how? I gestured to Monster and she nodded infinitesimally, turning to our friend.

"Angela?" She began, hesitant, while she was trying on a pair of pink strappy heels. She was overjoyed to have a date who didn't care about the height difference.

"I like those." She chickened out.

"I think I'll get them, though they'll never match anything but the one dress," she mused.

"Oh, go ahead, they're on sale," I encouraged. She smiled, putting the lid back on a box that contained more practical-looking off-white shoes.

Ren tried again. "Um, Angela..." She looked up curiously. "Bella and I were wondering if there was a decent bookstore in town? You know how we get," she said, getting a laugh out of her.

"Well," she said, unexcited, "there is a small one across town, but I don't know if it's anything for you." Of course, we already knew this.

I decided to give my two cents. "It wouldn't hurt to check it out." Now for keeping Angela safe. "Why don't you finish up here and then go to the restaurant to get us a table, while we check out the store?" I internally pleaded with her to accept.

"Sure," Bingo.

We planned to go to dinner at La Bella Italia on the boardwalk, but since the dress shopping hadn't taken very long,

Angela decided to go down to the water. I think she sensed that we wanted to be alone and yet did not seem resentful, thank God. I had to stop being so surprised, when she turned out to be nothing like Jessica.

I handed Angela my keys so she could deposit her things in my car and then we waved goodbye, as Ren and I turned down in another direction. Obviously we had no problem finding the bookstore, but we ignored it and went further down the road. We meandered down through the streets, which were filling up with end-of-the-workday traffic. We walked along in a southerly direction, toward some glass-fronted shops that had looked promising the first time around.

Of course, when we passed them, they were just a repair shop and a vacant space. We kept walking, Ren following what I was doing, as I intentionally turned in a wrong direction. The little foot traffic I had seen was going north and it looked like the buildings here were mostly warehouses, which told me that we were on the right path. My memories weren't completely trustworthy at this point and so I kept my eyes out for the four men.

We started turning down different small alleys, as I tried to remember exactly how it had gone down. When I suddenly recognized the brick wall where I had first seen them and there was still no sign of them, my heart began beating erratically and my pulse heightened. Where were they?

How could they not be where they're supposed to? I couldn't possibly fathom what I could've changed, for this to happen.

And then the next thought struck. What if they had found some other poor victim?

"Renesmee," I said, getting her attention, "we need to find them, now. Something's different." I didn't need to say anything more.

We ran quickly around the corner, past the backs of several somber-colored warehouses, each with large bay doors for unloading trucks, padlocked for the night. The south side of the street had no sidewalk, only a chain-link fence topped with barbed wire protecting some kind of engine parts storage yard. We kept running, as fast as we could and I wondered if Dad was still following close behind. I knew that Edward probably hadn't caught up to me yet.

It was getting dark, I realized with fear, the clouds finally returning, piling up on the western horizon, creating an early sunset. The eastern sky was still clear, but graying, shot through with streaks of pink and orange. The rush of adrenaline kept me warm however, as we hurried down the streets and through various alleyways. A single van passed us and then the road was empty, the air filled with silence.

The sky darkened further and as I looked over my shoulder to glare at the offending cloud, I realized with a jolt of appreciation that we were on the right path. I remember seeing two of the men behind me here, the first time. They had been walking quietly, twenty feet behind me. I grabbed Monster's arm, forcing her to quicken her pace. A chill that had nothing to do with the weather made me shiver. I had a bad feeling about all of this.

I listened intently for any sign of noise, any kind of noise, to guide us in the right direction. Breathe, I had to remind myself. You don't know that they've actually found someone else. I continued to run as quickly as I could, without stretching my limits too much. This wasn't the time to run out of breath and I couldn't stop to catch it. A blue car turned onto the street from the south and I recognized with a relieved sigh, that it was Dad's cruiser.

"What happened?" He practically yelled, as he parked illegally and jumped out of the car.

"I don't know," I almost whispered, out of breath. "Something changed and they weren't where they were supposed to be. I'm trying to remember where they cornered me, but I don't know if I'm even on the right path." I could feel the helpless tears coming. Please, let this turn out okay.

I could hear Ren behind me, standing still as she obviously wasn't out of air. "Alright," Dad said, pulling out his gun, "here's what we'll do. I'm gonna go around the buildings in my car, as far as I can and then take the rest by foot.

Meanwhile, you girls continue trying to find the place and please, be careful." With that he raced back to his car and was off like lightning.

I didn't wait to see if Monster was with me, as I raced back in between the warehouses, desperately searching for any sign of the four criminals. I reached the corner and only a swift glance told me that I was headed in the right direction, finally. I recognized the blind drive to the back of another building, quickly corrected myself as I had last time and dashed across the narrow drive, back to the sidewalk. I heard Ren behind me, but did not slow down.

The street ended at the next corner, where there was a stop sign. I concentrated on the sound of the cruiser's breaks whining in the distance, secure in the knowledge that Dad wasn't far away. It seemed to take forever for me to get to the corner. I kept up my running, this time pushing myself a little harder as I saw the moon begin to peek out from behind the graying clouds. I saw two cars going north past the intersection and knew I was getting close. This was where I had felt relief the first time around. It didn't come now.

I slowed my running and stopped before I turned the corner. I waited for Monster to catch up and then, with slow, steady breaths, I peeked around the brick wall of the warehouse. The street was lined on both sides by blank, doorless, windowless walls. I could see in the distance, two intersections down, streetlamps, cars and more pedestrians, but they were all too far away. Because lounging against the western building, midway down the street, were two of the men from the group, both watching something with slightly excited and inebriated smiles. I realized then, what was happening.

I froze in horror.

I paused only for a second, but it felt like a very long time. I signaled to Ren then and, ignoring Dad's warnings, darted around the corner and toward the small group of people, some who were struggling heatedly. I had a sinking feeling that my attempts would be futile and wasted, but I had to try. Monster's footsteps behind me were loud in my ears as all the blood rushed to my head in an instant. This was not happening.

"Hey," I called out, successfully getting their attention, "what do you think you're doing?" I said, stalling until Dad showed up.

The front man, the one I remembered Edward saying was named Lonnie, the one who enjoyed the kill, slowly approached me. I shivered in fear, but stood my ground. I had done it again. I had changed something for the worse.

How long had they had with their new victims? Enough to scar them for life? This was all my fault.

"Why don't you come over here, darling," he leered at me, making me shake in fright, "and I'll show you." His friends cackled at his words.

My eyes narrowed. I was still scared, no doubt, but I had once been a creature far scarier than this little human man and it was beginning to show. If only I wasn't weak again, I could break him in seconds. And I would too, I knew that with certainty. I wasn't usually a violent person and as a vampire I had been strictly vegetarian, but if there was any one who deserved a slow and painful death, it was this man. Maybe not his friends, but he definitely did. Murdering bastard, I thought, as he came closer.

C'mon Dad.

I had barely thought those words, when I heard the telltale engine of the cruiser, revving in the opening of the empty street we were on. Lonnie looked up in shock and then it was his turn to narrow his eyes. He barked to his friends and they all went running. When it looked like Dad was going to stop I yelled at him to keep going. There was no way that those assholes were getting away.

When the men and the cruiser was out of sight, I could finally breathe. And hear. The sobbing, the heavy breathing, the exclamations of pain. I was brought harshly back into the situation, as I turned around to find Monster cradling a hysterical Jessica.

"Oh God, it was awful..." her mascara was running down her cheeks and her dress was ripped, "they just came out of nowhere..." she whispered, voice filled with anguish.

I realized why, when I further investigated the concrete ground. I didn't even register the gasp of shock I let out, as I ran to the still body of Katie Marshall. I knelt beside her, slow rivulets of blood still running down her legs. Her face was black and blue, with one eye completely swelled shut. Her once pale yellow shirt was now a shocking crimson, with rips and holes everywhere. With a shaky hand, I reached down toward her neck to feel for a pulse.

I found none.

"No!" I cried out, finally letting the tears fall. I vaguely heard Jessica's raspy voice in the distance, proclaiming that Lauren needed an ambulance as the blackness began to envelope me. And as I fell into the dark, one last thought rang out in my mind.

This was all my fault.

* * *

My hands were shaking uncontrollably, as I fisted them in my disheveled hair. Tears ran in streams down my face and my lips were dry and cracked. My thoughts were running a mile a minute, as the hospital personnel scurried about all around me. Dad was talking furiously to one of the doctors, while Ren paced in front of the chair area that I was currently sitting in. On my right side, playing with her fingernails and staring into space, was Jessica.

Lauren was currently in the OR, where Carlisle was doing his best to save her shattered and broken body. There had been no help for Katie. The EMTs had announced her dead, not long after they had arrived. Or so Monster told me, since I was not awake then.

My mind spun with all that had happened tonight. The guilt was gnawing at my insides and the only thing keeping me sane at the moment, was the need to know if Lauren would suffer the same fate as her friend. In any case, from what little Dad had gotten out of Jessica, even if she did survive, she would never be the same. Apparently, Lonnie had liked Lauren best out of the three and had zeroed in on her.

The reason she's still alive and Katie isn't? Lauren was smart enough not to struggle.

Suddenly, another thought occurred to me and I sat up straight in my seat. From the corner of my eye, I saw Jessica's shock at my movement, but I didn't care. There were more important matters to tend to right now. I ran up to Dad, interrupting another round of his yelling and quickly told him that I had somewhere that I had to be. Monster quirked an eyebrow as I passed her but I payed her little attention right now. I ran through the automatic doors and out to the parking lot.

Where a silver Volvo was parked.

"Get in," he said softly, sympathy in his eyes as he stood in front of the passenger door, "I'll drive you to the restaurant." I was not shocked that he knew where I was going.

In all the commotion we had forgotten all about Angela, who had my keys but was too nice to drive home without us. "Thank you," I whispered solemnly as I got in the car.

It was dark in the car, no light had come on with the opening of the door and I could barely see his face in the glow from the dashboard, as he got into the drivers side. The tires squealed as he spun out of the parking space, accelerating too quickly, swerving toward the road. "Put on your seat belt," he commanded and I realized that he was clutching his seat with one hand, the other on the wheel. He must've been terrified tonight, hearing what had happened. After all, it could've been me.

 _It was supposed to be me._

He took a sharp left, racing forward, blowing through several stop signs without pause. But, of course, I felt utterly safe and, for the moment, totally unconcerned about anything else. His presence always calmed me, the way nothing else could. I stared at his face in profound relief, relief that went beyond saving me from utter despair. I studied his flawless features in the limited light, waiting for my breath to return to normal, for the first time since I ran through town earlier, until it occurred to me that his expression was murderously angry.

"Are you okay?" I asked, surprised at how hoarse my voice sounded. It must be all the sobbing.

"No," he said curtly and his tone was livid.

I sat in silence, watching his face while his blazing eyes stared straight ahead, until the car came to a sudden stop. I glanced around, but it was too dark to see anything beside the vague outline of dark trees crowding the roadside. We weren't in town anymore.

"Bella?" he asked, his voice tight, controlled.

"Yes?" My voice was still rough. I tried to clear my throat quietly.

"Are you alright?" He still didn't look at me, but the fury was plain on his face.

"Yes," I croaked softly.

"Distract me, please," he ordered.

I thought of how I had done it last time. "I'm going to run over Eric Yorkie tomorrow before school." I stated, without humor.

He was still squeezing his eyes closed, but the corner of his mouth twitched. "Why?"

"He's telling everyone that he's taking me to prom. I think he must be insane. So I figure if I endanger his life, he might finally get the hint and leave me alone. I don't need enemies and maybe Katie..." That thought brought me up short. What have I done?

"I heard about that," he said, sounding a bit more composed. I knew that the change of subject was just as much for my sake, as it was for his.

" _You_ did?" I asked in forced disbelief. "If he's paralyzed from the neck down, he can't go to prom, either," I muttered, trying to find the proper emotion to go with the words. I was numb at the moment.

Edward sighed and finally opened his eyes.

"Better?" I asked.

"Not really."

I waited, but he didn't speak again. He leaned his head back against the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car. His face was rigid.

"What's wrong?" My voice came out in a whisper.

"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella." He was whispering too and as he stared out the window, his eyes narrowed into slits. "But it _wouldn't_ be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those..." He didn't finish his sentence, looking away, struggling for a moment to control his anger again. "At least," he continued, "that's what I'm trying to convince myself. It helps to know that they're behind bars right now."

"Oh." The word seemed inadequate, but I couldn't think of a better response. We sat in silence again. I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was almost ten. "Angela must be so worried," I murmured. "Vanessa and I was supposed to meet her hours ago."

He started the engine without another word, turning around smoothly and speeding back toward town. We were under the streetlights in no time at all, still going too fast, weaving with ease through the cars slowly cruising the boardwalk. He parallel-parked against the curb in a space I would have thought much too small for the Volvo, but he slid in effortlessly in one try. I looked out the window to see the lights of La Bella Italia. Angela was outside, pacing the sidewalk anxiously.

"I need to go to her," I said, but turned back to him before opening the door, "don't go anywhere, I'll be right back. We need to talk." I said severely and didn't wait for a reply.

I softly closed the door behind me, catching up to Angela before she could walk back into the warm restaurant. "Angela!" I called out, as she had her hand on the knob. She rushed to my side as soon as she spotted me and enveloped me in a tight hug.

"Oh my God, Bella," she cried out, "I was so worried. Where were you?" She backed away, but kept her hands on my shoulders. "Where's Vanessa?" She looked around me, confused when she didn't see her other friend.

"Angela," I said harshly, needing her attention back on me, "do you still have my keys?"

"Yeah, sure," she said, digging them out from her coat pocket, "here." She tried to hand them to me, but I refused.

"No," I said quietly, "I need you to get in my car and drive to Olympic Medical Center, right now. Understand?" I asked, severely.

She looked scared now. "Bella," her voice shook, "is Vanessa okay?"

"Yes, she's just fine. Lauren however, is another story." I whispered solemnly.

"What? What are you talking about, Bella?" Now she was shaking too.

"Katie Marshall is dead, Angela." I didn't have the energy to sugarcoat right now.

She let out a strange sound and almost fell to her knees, before I caught her in my arms. After all, these were girls that she had grown up with. Girls that, prior to mine and Ren's arrival, had been her friends. I could only imagine what she was feeling right now. At least she didn't have to deal with the guilt.

"Do what I said, Angela." I demanded.

I felt a presence beside me and looked up to see Edward standing there. "She's in no condition to drive right now. Why don't we go in my car? We'll come back for your truck later." He offered, looking with worry at my friend.

"Okay," I said dumbly, as my emotions were all over the place at the moment.

With some help from my husband, we got a hysterical Angela into the back seat of the Volvo and I slid in beside her. The drive back to the hospital was eerily quiet, only interrupted by the occasional sniff or sob from Angela. Minutes later we were back in the parking lot, but one look at Edward through the small mirror and he knew better than to actually park.

We still had things to talk about.

After tonight, there were certain secrets I was sick of keeping.

"Angela," I said, loud enough to catch her attention, "my dad is inside right now, with Jessica and Vanessa in the waiting area. Go inside and they'll answer all your questions, okay?" She just nodded numbly and left the car.

It said a lot for her emotional state, that she didn't even wonder why I wasn't coming with her.

"Drive." I said, as I crawled into the front passenger seat. Edward did as I asked, not saying a word. Before I knew it, we were back in front of La Bella Italia.

"You need to eat, Bella." He said, not looking at me.

"I'm not hungry," I said, but the words sounded weak even in my ears.

His expression was unreadable. "Humor me."

We left the car and he walked to the door of the restaurant, holding it open with an obstinate expression. Obviously there would be no further discussion. I walked past him into the restaurant with a resigned sigh. It wasn't crowded, it was off season in Port Angeles. The host was female and slightly familiar, I thought, as I saw the look in her eyes when she assessed Edward. She welcomed him a bit more warmly than necessary.

"A table for two?" His voice was alluring, whether he was aiming for that or not.

I saw her eyes flicker to me and then away, satisfied by my obvious ordinariness and by the cautious, no-contact space Edward kept between us. She led us to a table big enough for four, in the center of the most crowded area of the dining floor. I stayed on my feet, knowing what was coming.

"Perhaps something more private?" He insisted quietly to the host.

"Sure." She sounded surprised. She turned and led us around a partition to a small ring of booths, all of them empty.

"How's this?"

"Perfect." He flashed his gleaming smile, dazing her momentarily. Though I was sure that wasn't his intent.

"Um" she shook her head, blinking, "your server will be right out." She walked away unsteadily.

"You really shouldn't do that to people," I criticized. "It's hardly fair."

"Do what?"

"Dazzle them like that. She's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now." He seemed confused. "Oh, come on," I said dubiously, "you _have_ to know the effect you have on people."

He tilted his head to one side and his eyes were curious. "I dazzle people?"

"You haven't noticed? Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?"

He ignored my questions. "Do I dazzle _you_?"

"Sometimes," I admitted. I had gotten better at gaining immunity over the years, but not much.

And then our server arrived, her face expectant. The hostess had definitely dished behind the scenes and this new girl didn't look disappointed. She flipped a strand of short black hair behind one ear and smiled with unnecessary warmth.

"Hello. My name is Amber and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?" I didn't miss the way she was only speaking to him. Edward looked at me.

"I'll have a Coke."

"Two Cokes," he agreed.

"I'll be right back with that," she assured him, with another unnecessary smile. But he didn't see it, he was busy watching me.

"What?" I asked when she left.

His eyes stayed fixed on my face. "How are you feeling?"

I decided to be honest. "It's hard, but I'm hanging in there." I whispered.

"I'm... amazed at how well you're dealing. Most people would be going into shock, right about now." He studied my face for any sign of weakness.

"Well, I'm not most people," I gave him a small smile, "I've always been very good at repressing unpleasant things."

"Just the same, I'll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you."

Right on cue, the waitress appeared with our drinks and a basket of bread sticks. She stood with her back to me, as she placed them on the table. "Are you ready to order?" She asked Edward.

"Bella?" He looked at me, forcing the waitress to unwillingly turn toward me as well.

"Um," I looked at the menu, remembering how much I had liked the meal the first time, "I'll have the mushroom ravioli."

"And you?" She turned back to him with a smile.

"Nothing for me," he said. Of course not.

"Let me know if you change your mind." The coy smile was still in place, but he wasn't looking at her and she left dissatisfied.

"Drink," he ordered. I sipped at my soda obediently and then drank more deeply, realizing how thirsty I actually was. Probably from all the running. I finished the whole glass in one, long sip and he pushed his own across the table.

"Thanks," I muttered, still parched. The cold from the icy soda was radiating through my chest and I shivered. I grabbed the coat lying beside me on the seat and quickly slipped into it. Though I wish I had an excuse to wear his this time as well.

"That color blue looks lovely with your skin," he suddenly commented, watching me. I smiled my thanks, without the blush thank God, as he pushed the bread basket toward me. "Eat something," he ordered, though softly, "even if it's just to humor me."

"I really am fine," I said, deciding once again to just be honest with him, "I feel very safe with you," I confessed, hoping to open his eyes a bit.

My words displeased him though; his alabaster brow furrowed. He shook his head, frowning. "This is more complicated than I'd planned," he murmured to himself.

I picked up a bread stick and began nibbling on the end, measuring his expression. I wanted to confess my knowledge to him, but the waitress chose that moment to arrive with my food. We had been leaning toward each other across the table, but as she came closer, I mirrored Edward when he straightened up. She set the dish in front of me and turned quickly to my husband. "Did you change your mind?" she asked. "Isn't there anything I can get you?" I clearly heard the double meaning in her words.

"No, thank you, but some more soda would be nice." He gestured with a long white hand to the empty cups in front of me.

"Sure." She removed the glasses and walked away.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, until the waitress returned with two more Cokes. She sat them down without a word this time and left again. Once again, I immediately downed one and then started sipping on the other. I knew that Edward was waiting for me to speak, knowing I had something on my mind. He had no idea.

"I know why you're in Port Angeles." I said, in a quiet voice.

He looked down, folding his large hands together slowly on the table. His eyes flickered up at me from under his lashes, the hint of a frown on his face. "Do you now?" he said, in a controlled tone.

I looked down, frustrated. I unrolled my silverware, picked up my fork and carefully speared a ravioli. I put it in my mouth slowly, still looking down, chewing while I thought. Why did he have to be so masochistic and moody? I thought he wanted me to know, if only for his own peace of mind. I continued to busy myself with the food. The mushrooms were good. I swallowed and took another sip of Coke, before I looked up.

"Yes," I kept my voice clear and steady, "it wasn't really that difficult to figure out." He smiled now, probably thinking that whatever theory I had come up with, was the wrong one. "I bet the waitress is thinking some... unclean thoughts about you. Am I right?" I lifted one eyebrow, testing him.

He seemed to be wavering, torn by some internal dilemma. His eyes locked with mine and I guessed that he was making the decision right then, whether or not to simply tell me the truth. I reached forward, to touch his folded hands, but he slid them away minutely.

"You can trust me, y'know," I whispered, trying to show my honesty through my eyes.

"I don't know if I have a choice anymore." His whisper was almost too low for me to hear. "I was wrong. You're much more observant than I gave you credit for." He shook his head again. "I was wrong about you on another thing as well.

You're not a magnet for accidents, that's not a broad enough classification. You are a magnet for _trouble_. If there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you." He stated, in a hard voice. I couldn't help but agree with him on that one.

"And you put yourself in that category." I stated.

His face turned cold, expressionless. "Unequivocally."

I stretched my hand across the table again, ignoring him when he pulled back slightly once more, to touch the back of his hand with my fingertips. His skin was as cold as always and hard, like stone. "Thank you," I whispered, "for being there when I needed you."

"I should have been there earlier. I always seem to be too late, when it comes to you." He said with a humorless laugh.

I knew that he meant the accident with June Richardson and then, again tonight. I didn't want him to take on all the blame, but experience had taught me that I could do nothing to stop him. Besides, I wasn't much better myself. Even if I had many more reasons to actually feel guilty in this case.

"I followed you to Port Angeles," he finally admitted, seemingly desperate for a subject change. "I've never tried to keep a specific person alive before and it's much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that's probably just because it's you. Ordinary people seem to make it through the day without so many catastrophes." He paused, checking my expression with a guarded face.

I suspected that he wanted to make sure I was okay with the topic of conversation. I was still trying to deal with the life that was lost tonight, but being here with him now, helped immensely. He pressed his lips together, staring at me through narrowed eyes, deciding again. His eyes flashed down to my full plate and then back to me.

"You eat, I'll talk," he bargained. I quickly scooped up another ravioli and popped it in my mouth. "It's harder than it should be, keeping track of you. Usually I can find someone very easily, once I've heard their mind before." He looked at me anxiously and I realized that I had stopped eating. I made myself swallow, then stabbed another ravioli and tossed it in.

"I was keeping tabs on Angela, not carefully. Like I said, only you could find trouble in Port Angeles, and at first I didn't notice when you and Vanessa took off. Then, when I realized that you weren't with her anymore, I went looking for you at the bookstore I had seen in her head. I could tell that you hadn't gone in and that you'd gone south... and I knew you would have to turn around soon. So I was just waiting for you, randomly searching through the thoughts of people on the street. To see if anyone had noticed you or your friend, so I would know where you were. I had no reason to be worried... but I was strangely anxious..." He was lost in thought, staring past me, seeing things I couldn't imagine.

"I started to drive in circles, still... listening. The sun was finally setting and I was about to get out and follow you on foot. And then..." he stopped, clenching his teeth together in sudden fury. He made an effort to control himself.

"Then what?" I whispered. He continued to stare over my head.

"I heard the thought of an officer. He was seeing the witnesses in his mind... when I saw your face..." He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between two long fingers. "It was very... hard, you can't imagine how hard, for me to simply go to the hospital. I almost turned in the direction of the station several times..." His voice was muffled by the hand that now covered his mouth. "I could have stayed away and you would never have known what I'd done, but..." he trailed off in a whisper and I knew what he wasn't saying.

Even if I never knew, he would. And he wouldn't be able to live with himself, or me, if he had done such a horrible thing.

I sat quietly, my thoughts swirling around in my head. I had heard most of this before, but was still overwhelmed by the pain in his velvet voice. My hands were folded in my lap and I was leaning back against the seat. He had his face in his hands and he was as still as if he'd been carved from the stone his skin resembled. Finally, he looked up, his eyes seeking mine, full of his own questions.

"Are you ready to go back to the hospital?" he asked.

"I think you should just take me back to my truck. My dad's probably at home now, waiting for me." I reluctantly told him, wanting more time with him.

He seemed to be considering something and when he spoke I realized what it was. "How about I take you home instead." I knew better than to ask what we would do with my truck. I smiled instead and he seemed slightly shocked by my lack of questions.

The waitress appeared, as if she'd been called. Or watching. "How are we doing?" she asked Edward.

"We're ready for the check, thank you." His voice was quiet, rougher, still reflecting the strain of our conversation. It seemed to muddle her. He looked up, waiting.

"S-sure," she stuttered, "Here you go." She pulled a small leather folder from the front pocket of her black apron and handed it to him.

There was a bill in his hand already. He slipped it into the folder and handed it right back to her. "No change." He smiled.

Then he stood up and I scrambled to my feet as well.

She smiled invitingly at him again. "You have a nice evening." He didn't look away from me as he thanked her and I waited for him to turn his back, before I let her see my victorious smile.

He walked close beside me to the door, still careful not to touch me. I sighed, wondering if I would have to wait as long as the first time, before anything physical happened between us. Edward seemed to hear me and he looked down curiously. I looked at the sidewalk, grateful that he couldn't read my mind.

He opened the passenger door, holding it for me as I stepped in, shutting it softly behind me. I watched him walk around the front of the car, amazed, as always, by how graceful he was. I probably should've been used to that by now, but I wasn't. Edward wasn't the kind of man you could get used to, to be honest.

Once inside the car, he started the engine and turned the heater on high. It had gotten very cold and I guessed the good weather was at an end. Edward pulled out through the traffic, without a glance, flipping around to head toward the freeway. Before reaching our turnoff, he parked in front of the hospital and I thanked him with my eyes, as I left the car and ran quickly through the automatic doors.

I didn't recognize any of the people in the waiting room and made my way to the nurses desk instead, hoping to get some answers. I tapped my nails impatiently on the counter, staring at the empty chair. Where was everyone? I felt a presence behind me and turned to see Edward watching me. Apparently, he had decided to help me.

"Follow me," he whispered and I knew exactly where he was taking me.

We made our way to the elevator, rode up a few floors and then stepped off, heading down a long row of white walls. Several personnel passed us on the way, but one look at Edward kept them from protesting. I guess visiting hours were over. We finally reached the door of an office. The tag on the outside said _Carlisle Cullen_ , simply. There was no need to knock, as the door opened and my second father stood there, staring at us with a small smile playing on his lips.

"What can I do for you, son?" He asked, though I wondered if he didn't already know.

Edward turned to look at me, silently telling me that I should speak up. I gave him a grateful smile and then focused my eyes on Carlisle. "Dr. Cullen," I said, reminding myself that he did not know me as anything other than a patient right now, "I was wondering if you could tell me anything about Lauren's progress? I left while she was still in surgery." I pleaded with my eyes.

I could see the struggle in his eyes, not wanting to give up private information, but not wanting to disappoint me either. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward's lips move slightly and I knew that he was asking his father to tell me the truth. I would have to remember to thank him for that later. I acted ignorant to the exchange, waiting for Carlisle's words.

"Well, Ms. Swan," he said, with a gentle smile, "your friend was quite lucky. Most of her injuries were only skin deep, though we did have to stitch up the wound in her stomach." His smile fell and he reached out a hand, patting my arm softly. "She'll have to stay here for observation for a few weeks, just to be sure and to let her wounds heal. But, with time, she should be just fine."

I didn't even realize that I had been holding my breath, until I let it out in a relieved sigh. I thanked him profusely, both for the information and for saving her life. I didn't correct him when he called Lauren my friend, since there really was no need. I had been worrying for her, the same way I would for someone I actually loved and I knew that even with her harsh ways, she had come to grow on me, in the short time I had spent at Forks High. Both times.

Edward told me to go downstairs and wait for him, while he spoke a few words with his father. I suppose he wanted to tell him his own story of what had happened tonight. I conceded without a word or complaint, making my way back down the long hallway, toward the elevator. I was too spent from the long day, to fight anything or anyone right now, even him.

I walked out into the cool breeze of the night air, letting the wind blow through my long hair. Closing my eyes, I wrapped my arms around my stomach, allowing the memories of tonight to course freely through my mind. All the what if's came streaming in, quickly. If I had only been faster, if I had only left earlier, if I had only accepted Jessica's invitation, if, if, if...

My head hurt.

As always, I felt his presence before I heard him and I turned to find him looking at me with a frustrated expression, once again. He shook his head slightly and waved out his arm, gesturing for me to walk ahead of him, back to the Volvo. We walked in silence to the car, getting in and leaving the parking lot. Only once we were back on the long, winding road, did he speak up again.

"Now," he said, significantly, "it's your turn to answer my questions."


	10. Answers Absolute

**Answers Absolute**

* * *

 **Washington Highway  
March 8th, 2005**

* * *

"What do you want to know?" I asked, keeping my voice steady.

At least this time, Jake wouldn't get into any trouble.

He turned his head away from the road and laid his piercing eyes on my face instead. He was probing me, I could tell and I held back my smirk. Try as he might, he would never get into my head. Unless I let him in, of course, something I could only do after my change.

"What have you decided, about me?" He asked, in a tone that told me that he didn't really want to know.

"Hmm," I started, but the look in his eyes told me not to tease him any longer, "it's not something I think, I'm actually pretty sure of the truth." This didn't help his composure, one bit. "Edward," my voice was quiet, forcing him to pay me some attention, "I know what you are." I whispered.

"And how did you figure it out," he finally said, after several minutes of tense silence.

"I remember," I started, not actually lying this time, "when I was a kid. I would come to Forks to visit my dad for the summer. We spent most of our time at La Push," I saw that he knew where I was going with this. "One year, I was spending the day at First Beach, while my dad went fishing with Billy Black and Harry Clearwater."

I got lost in the story, picturing that day in my head. I'm amazed that I never remembered it the first time, but then it wasn't until Rachel came back to the reservation, that she reminded me of what had happened.

"The Black twins, Rachel and Rebecca, were babysitting me, though they weren't allowed to call it that," I chuckled, "since I was twelve and considered myself far too old to be babysat. Their little brother Jacob, was visiting friends, I think. Anyway, we were sitting by the shoreline, making sand castles."

I had his full attention now and there was a small smile on his face. I suppose he was interested in anything that had to do with me, I thought with an internal grin.

"The sun was becoming more distant and clouds gathered above, though it didn't rain. The girls asked if I wanted to hear a scary story, since the mood was perfect for that. Rachel wasn't so sure, she didn't want to scare me, but Rebecca finally convinced her, with my help. After all, I didn't want to seem childish, especially not in the eyes of two fourteen year old girls."

At this he joined me in the slight laughter and I was happy to see his mood had shifted, if only just a bit. "They began telling me the tale of the first Spirit Chief, Taha Aki, The Third Wife and the... Cold Ones." I whispered, worried about his reaction. After all, I had changed so much already that I couldn't really be sure about how he would take all of this now.

"And you immediately thought of me?" He said in an eerily calm voice. Why does he always have to hide his emotions from me?

"No. The twins said that the leader that had made the treaty with the Pack, his name was Carlisle Cullen. It didn't take much to put it together from there." He was silent, staring at the road.

"And now? How do you feel, now that you know... the truth." At least he wasn't skirting the issue anymore.

"It doesn't matter, Edward," I said, looking straight into his golden eyes, "I don't care what you are."

A hard, mocking edge slipped into his voice. "You don't care if I'm a monster? If I'm not human!"

"No." He was silent, staring straight ahead again. His face was bleak and cold. "You're angry," I sighed, "should I not have said anything?" I asked, though I knew it was the right thing to do.

"No, it's okay," he said, but his tone was as hard as his face. "I'd rather know what you're thinking, even if what you're thinking is insane."

"They're my thoughts, Edward," I bit out through gritted teeth, "don't call me insane, just because you don't like what you hear."

"But, Bella," he backtracked quickly, "how can you say 'it doesn't matter' like that?" he quoted, with an angered tone. He stared at me, a hard edge in his eyes, searching for the truth. "Does it really not matter?"

"No," I paused. "But I am curious." My voice was composed. I knew there were certain questions I had to ask, even though I already knew the answers. He would wonder too much, if I didn't.

He was suddenly resigned. "What are you curious about?"

"How old are you?" Older in my head, than in his, I thought with an inner smile.

"Seventeen," he answered out of habit.

"And how long have you been seventeen?"

His lips finally twitched into an almost smile, as he stared at the road. "A while," he admitted at last.

"Okay." I smiled, pleased that he was finally playing along. He stared down at me with watchful eyes, much as he had before, when he was worried that I would go into shock. I smiled wider in encouragement, though it made him frown. Did he think I was faking it? "Don't laugh," I said, my mood still light, "but how can you come out during the daytime?" Idiotic story, really.

He laughed anyway, of course. "Myth."

"Burned by the sun?"

"Myth."

"Sleeping in coffins?"

"Myth." He hesitated for a moment and a peculiar tone entered his voice. "I can't sleep."

I waited a minute in mock-shock, apparently rhyming as I did, before continuing. "At all?"

"Never," he said, his voice nearly inaudible. He turned to look at me with a wistful expression. His golden eyes held mine and I lost my train of thought. I stared at him until he looked away. "You haven't asked me the most important question yet." His voice was hard now and when he looked at me again his eyes were cold.

I returned his stare with a penetrating one of my own. "I already know about your diet, Edward. Remember, I was told the stories of the yellow-eyed vampires." There, the word was finally said for the first time.

"That doesn't mean that I'm not dangerous, Bella." He almost growled at me. "Don't let that make you complacent." He sighed now. "We try," he explained, probably thinking that I didn't understand, "We're usually very good at what we do. Sometimes we make mistakes. Me, for example, allowing myself to be alone with you."

"Is it really a mistake?" I still didn't understand, even after all these years. But I suppose I never would, until the day I myself came across my own _La Tua Cantante_.

"Yes, a very dangerous one." He murmured.

We were both silent then. I watched the headlights twist with the curves of the road. They moved so fast that it didn't look real, but more like a video game. I was aware of the time slipping away so quickly, like the black road beneath us and I was hideously afraid that I would never have another chance to be with him like this again. I was sure he had taken it worse this second time, but maybe that was just me. His words hinted at an end and I recoiled from the idea. I knew how badly I dealt with him leaving; I wasn't going to go through that again.

"Tell me more," I asked desperately, not caring what he said, just as long as I could hear his voice again.

He looked at me quickly, startled by the change in my tone. "What more do you want to know?"

I sighed, thinking. "What is the difference between human and animal blood?" I honestly wanted to know, since I, like my sister Rose, had only ever had animal.

"I can't be sure," he paused for a moment, "but I'd compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesn't completely satiate the hunger, or rather thirst. But it keeps us strong enough to resist. Most of the time." His tone turned ominous. "Sometimes it's more difficult than others."

"Is it very difficult for you now?" I asked, knowing from his eyes that it was. They weren't completely black yet, but still...

He sighed. "Yes."

"But you're not hungry now," I said confidently, stating, not asking.

"Why do you think that?"

"Your eyes. I have this theory," I reused my old line, "I've noticed that people, men in particular, are more cranky when they're hungry."

He chuckled. "You are observant, aren't you?"

I didn't answer; I just listened to the sound of his laugh, committing it to memory. "So, I suppose you went hunting this weekend, with Emmett?" I asked, when it was quiet again.

"Yes." He paused for a second, deciding whether or not to say something. "I didn't want to leave, but it was necessary. It's a bit easier to be around you when I'm not thirsty."

My breath quickened and I repeated my old question, wanting to hear his answer one more time. "Why didn't you want to leave?"

"It makes me... anxious... to be away from you." His eyes were gentle but intense and they seemed to be making my bones turn soft. "I wasn't joking when I asked you to try to keep yourself safe last Thursday. I was distracted all weekend,n worrying about you. And after what happened tonight, I'm surprised that you did make it through a whole weekend unscathed." He shook his head slightly. "But the possibility of it tormented me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days. I really got on Emmett's nerves." He smiled ruefully at me.

I needed him to understand the depth of my love for him, so once again, I repeated myself. "Three days? Didn't you just get back today?"

"No, we got back Sunday."

"Then why weren't any of you in school?" I was frustrated, almost angry as I thought of all the hoops he was making me go through. Again.

"Well, you asked if the sun hurt me and it doesn't. But I can't go out in the sunlight, at least, not where anyone can see me."

"Why?" I thought, shivering at the image of Edward in the sun. Yum.

"I'll show you sometime," he promised.

"You might have called me," I said, trying not to let the boredom I felt, seep into my voice.

He was puzzled, the idiot. It wasn't all about him. "But I knew you were safe."

"But I didn't know where you were. I..." I paused for effect, dropping my eyes. "I didn't like it. Not seeing you. It makes me anxious, too." And this was the complete truth now.

He was quiet. I glanced up, apprehensive and saw that his expression was pained. "Ah," he groaned quietly, "this is wrong."

I hated this response. "Why?"

"Don't you see, Bella? It's one thing for me to make myself miserable, but a wholly other thing for you to be so involved."

He turned his anguished eyes to the road, his words flowing almost too fast for me to understand. "I don't want to hear that you feel that way." His voice was low but urgent. His words cut me. "It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous, Bella, please, grasp that."

"No." I snapped, angry and hurt.

"I'm serious," he growled.

"So am I. I told you, I doesn't matter what you are. It's too late."

His voice whipped out, low and harsh. "Never say that."

I bit my lip and was glad he couldn't know how much that hurt. I stared out at the road. We were close to my home now and I couldn't wait to leave this suffocating conversation behind. I could feel the tears coming and this time they had nothing to do with anger.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, his voice still raw. I just shook my head, not in the mood to talk right now. I could feel his gaze on my face though, but I kept my eyes on the passenger window. "Are you crying?" He said, appalled. I ignored his words and the moisture on my cheeks, not even bothering to lift up a hand, to brush them aside. I saw him reach toward me hesitantly with his right hand, but then he stopped and placed it slowly back on the steering wheel. "I'm sorry."

His voice burned with regret. I knew he wasn't just apologizing for the words that had upset me.

The darkness slipped by us in silence. "Tell me something," he asked, after another minute and I could hear him struggle to use a lighter tone.

"Yes?"

"What was your father doing at the scene? I can't understand that, since he works for Forks." Oh crap.

Of course he had noticed that, this vampire doesn't miss a thing. Especially not when it comes to me. I didn't have to think too long on how to answer this, since all I had to do was wonder how Dad would handle this. Well, that one was obvious. Dad would be honest.

"If I tell you, do you promise not to ask any questions when I'm done?" I was hoping that having lived with Alice for all these years, would make him more receptive to my story.

"I'll try," I stared him down and he changed his words. "Fine, I promise." His eyes were dancing with slight laughter. Jerk.

"I knew that something was going to happen tonight. I knew about those men, only, I thought it would be me, not someone else," I ignored his growl at these words, "When they weren't at the place they were supposed to be... I feared the worst. I had told my dad about it and he was following me and Vanessa, in case something happened. And, so he could arrest the men, when I found them." I confessed, not looking at him once.

He was quiet for a long while. "And now you feel guilty." He stated, glumly.

"Well, of course I do," I bit out, "If I had just..."

"What? If you had just what, Bella? Some things are out of our control. I've learned that much over the years, trust me." He chuckled humorlessly.

"I should've been there!" I was shouting now, tears still streaming down my cheeks. "If anything, it should've been me, not her. Not Katie. She didn't deserve such a short, violent death, Edward!"

"And you did!" He yelled back, deep black eyes narrowed in anger.

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just kept quiet. He didn't understand, how could he? Yes, I did deserve it. Because of me, a girl was dead. I may not have twisted the knife, but if it wasn't for my stubborn need for interference, the knife wouldn't have been there in the first place. I sighed. We were slowing, passing into the boundaries of Forks. It had taken a bit longer than I was sure it had last time, but I suppose Edward had wanted extra time with me. Lot a good that did us.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I practically growled out.

"Yes," he forced a smile, "I'll save you a seat at lunch."

We were in front of Dad's house now. The lights were on, my new truck in it's place, everything utterly normal. It was like waking from a dream, though I knew the man inside the home would not be what I was used to. He would be a bit like me, with less guilt though. Edward stopped the car, but neither of us moved.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked, knowing I needed some alone time with Dad tonight.

"Anything," he offered and I almost smiled.

I had my door open as I responded. "Don't come to my room tonight, I need some privacy." I left him sitting there, a gobsmacked look on his face, as I closed the door behind me and ran for the porch. When I turned around, he was gone. I reached for the key mechanically, unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Dad called from the living room, as soon as he heard me. "Bella?"

"Yeah, Dad, it's me." I walked in to see him. The TV screen was blank, though I was sure there was a game on right now.

He ran to me as I stepped inside the living room, pulling me into the tightest hug I ever remember getting from him. And then I broke down.

"Shh, Bells, it's okay. It'll be okay." He tried to comfort me, patting my back. "It wasn't your fault, honey. Please, believe that."

"How can I?" I choked out. "A girl is dead because of me, doesn't anyone see that?" I was inconsolable.

"No, sweetheart, please don't say that. You did the best you could. How were you to know that those girls would be there." It didn't matter what I said, he would never understand.

No one would.

I walked up the stairs slowly, a heavy stupor clouding my mind. Dad and I were at a standstill. I still blamed myself and he still pleaded with me not to. We got no further as the night wore on and I left him to his thoughts, while I went upstairs to deal with my own. I went through the motions of getting ready for bed without paying any attention to what I was doing.

It wasn't until I was in the shower, the water too hot, burning my skin, that I realized I was freezing. I shuddered violently for several minutes before the steaming spray could finally relax my rigid muscles. Then I stood in the shower, too tired to move, until the hot water began to run out.

I stumbled out, wrapping myself securely in a towel, trying to hold the heat from the water in, so the aching shivers wouldn't return. I dressed for bed swiftly and climbed under my quilt, curling into a ball, hugging myself to keep warm. A few small shudders trembled through me. My mind still swirled dizzily, full of images I couldn't withstand and I mostly fought to repress them, as per usual. Nothing seemed clear at first, but as I fell gradually closer to unconsciousness, a few certainties became evident.

About three things, I was absolutely positive.

First, Katie Marshall was dead, because of me. Second, I was stuck in the past and was never going to find my way back home. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably fucked.

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
March 8th, 2082**

* * *

The trail had officially gone cold.

Fifty days had gone by now, with no sign of our sister and niece. They had gone off on a hunt, something they often did together, to bond. Only this time, they had never returned. My brother had gone out, once the sun set, to look for them.

When he hadn't come back either, the next day, us kids went out together. Strength in numbers and all that.

We found our brother in the middle of the field. The one that had centered around most of our battles in Forks. He was sitting, cross-legged on the ground, clutching something in his hands. We slowed to a walk as we approached him, worried about what was going on. My husband signaled that his emotions were not a good sign and that we should all be very careful, as we got closer. I understood what he wasn't saying.

Edward might snap. Which meant that Bella and Nessie... no, I couldn't even think it.

I saw Emmett slowly inch closer and closer, prepared to hold him if he decided to run. I hadn't gotten a vision yet, but then I hadn't been focusing on my brother. We all remembered what happened the last time he thought Bella was gone and back then, she had only been a girlfriend. Now, he had lived decades with his wife and the mother of his child.

I wasn't sure I could blame him, if he did the unthinkable.

Emmett signaled for me to do the honors, since I was the one closest to Edward, emotionally. I walked around his slumped form and knelt in front of him, finally seeing with my own eyes, what it was he held in his hands. And then I screamed.

"Alice!"

I felt the usually soothing arms of my husband, wrapping around my stone cold form. It wasn't helping. I reached out agonizingly slowly, clutching my sister's torn sweater in one hand, while the other dug into the ground. It was true, then.

She was really gone. And because of that, we had now lost our brother too, of that I was sure. And maybe even Rose as well.

Because Nessie was still nowhere in sight.

That was forty-nine days ago. The day I gave up. The day we all gave up. Except for two.

"Come on, let's go." He said, in a harsh voice.

I looked up from my position on the couch, flipping through a magazine, though not truly seeing it. In the doorway to the living room stood the man that used to be my husband. Now, he was a shell of his old self. His eyes were constantly narrowed in suspicion and anger, his skin taut and tense, his words short and rough. He was a dead man, I was just waiting for him to realize that himself.

"Jazz, please, don't go," I begged, for the thousandth time now.

He didn't even look at me and his posture didn't change. "I have to," he whispered and then went back to berating our sister for being slow.

"Rose, I'm not kidding. Five seconds, or I'm leaving you behind," he barked out, with authority.

I heard the familiar steps on the stairway and in less than three seconds, my once beautiful sister, stood beside Jasper.

Now, anger and loss had hardened her, much the same way as her brother. Her golden hair, once flowing down her back majestically, was now kept in a tight braid down her back, carelessly put together. Her wardrobe, as my husband's, consisted only of black or other dark colors, to better blend in with the night.

Which was where they lived now.

"Alright, let's go," her voice was as rough as Jasper's.

"Rosie, please. Alice is right, don't do this." Emmett stomped into the room, pleading desperately with his wife. I knew how he felt.

Unlike Jasper though, Rose did not speak. Instead she glared at the man who used to be the only one to make her laugh out loud, sending chills down the spines of anyone who witnessed it. She hadn't let him touch her in forty-nine days and it was starting to show. The big teddy bear, as Bella had adoringly named him, was no more. In his place was an identical vision of myself. A broken spirit. Because, while we had not only lost our sister and niece, the rest of our family was gone as well.

Maybe not physically, but that didn't really matter.

No more words were spoken and Emmett and I watched in silence, as our mates ran out the back door, heading for the black forests behind our home. I felt the couch slightly dip beside me, as large, meaty arms wrapped around my small body. And then, as it always was whenever they left, I let it all out, sobbing violently in the arms of my brother.

Hours passed in the same position, before I heard the click of the front door closing. It seemed Carlisle was back from the hospital. He was the only one of us, who still kept up the usual pretenses, though I knew that even saving lives, did nothing for his equally broken soul. Especially not when his mate was gone.

Esme had left a few weeks ago, wanting to be alone.

I knew where she was, of course, I kept regular tabs on her to make sure she was okay, but I also knew better than to seek her out. She would come back in her own time. The question remained, how long it would take?

"Are they gone?" My father asked, when he saw us on the couch. His voice sounded eternally tired.

I felt Emmett's head nod, as it lay against my scalp and I saw Carlisle's shoulders slump in disappointment and regret.

He dropped his bag to the floor and joined us in the living room, falling into one of the sofa chairs. The only sound heard in the room, was the heaviness of our labored breathing. The humanity in us had never felt as potent, as it had after our collected loss. After all, the death of a loved one was not common for our kind and yet we had lost so many in such a short time.

I watched as Carlisle's golden eyes lifted to the ceiling and I knew what he was thinking of. Up the stairs, all the way at the top, in a small room to the left, sat the broken form of my brother. The one who had truly lost his world, more than any of us could say. He sat up there, day and night, arms wrapped tightly around his legs, eyes staring out into nothing. This time, we didn't bother trying to convince him to eat. Instead, Carlisle brought home blood bags from the hospital and he was fed unwillingly, once every two weeks.

I hated looking into his dead, crimson eyes.

"How is she?" My father finally spoke again, in a hoarse voice. I didn't have to ask who he meant.

I closed my eyes and searched my mind, seeing the choices about to be made. I ignored Edward's decisions as he always changed his mind anyway. I looked past my husband and sister, already knowing what I would see. I punched through the fog, created from too much time away from her and then, there she was.

"The same, I think. It's hard to tell," I gazed at him, apologetically, "It looks like she's in Japan, though, so at least she's still traveling." All three of us knew that keeping on the move was a sign of more healthy emotions, than staying still the way Edward did.

"Thank you," he whispered and with a flash, he was gone. We heard the click of the office door on the second floor and then silence reigned once again.

I sighed, so tired of what we had all become.

Esme was gone, off to a new country every time I was asked to look for her. She had stayed for the first week, hopeful like the rest of us in the beginning, but the more Edward closed himself in, the more dark and depressed she became. Until one day, while on a hunt, I caught an image of her packing a small bag, leaving a note on the foyer table and running out the house. None of us had seen her since, not counting my visions. And even then, she was always cloaked in darkness. The only reason I knew it was her, was the golden eyes that peeked out from under a heavy hood.

Carlisle spent the majority of his hours at the hospital, drowning himself in a load of work. He no longer cared for certain pretenses and so instead of being revered for his excellent care, the other doctors and nurses feared him. He had become the ghost, the pale white man who hardly ever spoke, who kept to himself when he wasn't treating patients and who never said please or thank you. He wasn't much better at home, locking himself in his office as soon as he had gotten a short reassurance from me.

Edward was slowly deteriorating. If not for his promise to his wife, he would have gone to Volterra long ago. But after what had happened all those years ago, Bella had forced him to make the vow that no matter what happened to her, he would live on, for his family. I don't think this was what she meant. He wasn't alive, truly more like a vampire than ever before. Some times, when there was silence in the house, I could hear him growling in his small room. And I knew that he didn't even realize he was doing it. He had gone into a sort of animalistic state, all feral and wild. The human he had tried so hard to portray was long gone and unless Bella returned miraculously, he would never return.

Emmett was silent. Constantly silent. I was sure that the rest of the family wondered if he hadn't gone mute, but I knew better. I was the only one he talked to. About Rose, about his loss, about the future he wasn't sure about. I hadn't seen a single, small smile from him in weeks and I wasn't sure if I ever would again. He was the one I spent the most time with.

He would hold me in his arms, for both my comfort and for his own, run a soothing hand down my short hair and squeeze my middle with his other. But he hardly ever spoke and only when he was sure no one else could hear. I had never thought it was possible, but the proof was sitting right next to me. Emmett had been broken, beyond repair.

Just like me. Bella certainly wouldn't recognize her sister anymore. I hadn't left the house to do anything more than hunt, in over a month. I had tried, at first, to save some of the normality. Two weeks after their disappearance, I had gone shopping alone. I bought nothing. Nothing called out to me and something I had once reveled in doing, had lost all meaning. My exuberance was missing, along with my sister and niece. I was grounded firmly to the earth, my smile vanished with the traces of my family. For the first time since waking up in this existence, I truly felt dead.

Then there was Rosalie. Her entire world had turned upside down, with the birth of Renesmee. She had stepped back and allowed Bella to be the mother she was, but Rose was always in the shadows, ready to take over if needed. It wasn't the way it sounds, in fact, over the years she had truly come to love Bella as a sister. But for a long time, Rose's whole existence had revolved around two things only. Her husband and her niece. Now that one was gone, she was neglecting the other, desperate to find some clue as to what had happened. She refused to give up. And she wasn't the only one.

Jasper had taken the loss almost as hard as Edward. Even with my gift, I never could've predicted the outcome of Bella's change. After her newborn year was over, my husband began to slowly relax around her. He started to let her in, bit by bit and no one was prepared for what would happen. Even Emmett felt no jealousy towards his brother, when he took over as Bella's best friend. Neither did I, how could I, when my best friend and husband got along so well. They quickly became almost inseparable. When they weren't spending time with their respective mates, they were playing chess, hunting together for fun, wrestling on the back lawn, or just reading in the same room.

Jasper refuses to give up and I don't think it has anything to do with his past.

Edward was sure his wife and daughter were both dead, as was Esme. Emmett, Carlisle and myself were sure they were never coming back, even if they were still alive somewhere. But Rose and Jasper... they were out there right now, searching. I knew it wouldn't be long before my sister gave up, like the rest of us, but my husband? I feared he would spend the rest of his immortal life, hoping.

And hope could be a dangerous thing.

The despair was weighing down on me and without the usual calm presence of Jasper, I felt it take over me. I pried Emmett's arms off me, told him with one glance what I was up to and then ran out the house, in the opposite direction of Rose and Jasper. I had somewhere I needed to be. After all, our family wasn't the only ones hurting.

I raced through the black night, purposely avoiding the large field to the North. I could never go there again, I knew. The heartbreak alone would surely kill me. I kept my eyes straight ahead, watching the trees whiz past me, the green leaves blending together in a blur. I pushed myself harder, not because I was on a time schedule, but because I couldn't stand the solitude for too long. It reminded me far too much of the fact that I would never see my sister or niece again.

I slowed down, bit by bit, the closer I came to the border line. As the scents became the strongest, I pulled to a full stop.

And then I waited.

"Alice." Came the voice from the darkness.

"Jonah," I replied, nodding my head to the tall, shirtless Native American who stepped into my line of view.

"Go straight to the house and be back here in two hours," he said, less harshly than he had the first time, over a month ago.

"I know the rules," I whispered, giving him another respectful nod and then walking past him.

I didn't dare run when he was near, for fear that his instincts would be triggered. The rest of the Pack knew better than to be close to the trail I traveled, when they caught my scent. Except for the other Pack, they would never attack. Even if some of them were still wary of us, after all these decades.

"How's he holding up," I asked, when I was no longer running alone.

"He's... dealing, I suppose. He started eating again three days ago, so I think with time... he'll be okay." Embry said, in a sad voice.

He had yet to imprint so he didn't understand the full scale of what losing a mate could do to someone. I suppose that's why he still had hope for his friend. But I knew better. With his wife gone, it wouldn't be long until Jake would stop phasing and allow himself to grow old and die. He wasn't the suicidal type, but he would also refuse to go on for eternity, without his imprint.

"What is it, Embry?" I asked, knowing the boy had something on his mind.

He sighed, keeping easy pace with me. "Sam passed away last night." His tone was solemn, pained.

I didn't have to ask any further. The former Leader had been through so much in the past weeks. He had been close with Bella, before she disappeared. She visited often, when Nessie and Jacob came to La Push for vacation. She would tell him how Leah was doing, since the guilt never left him and she would help Emily with the kids. Once Sam fully trusted my Vampiric sister, he let her be herself, even around his family. He was a good man.

But losing Bella and Nessie wasn't the only thing that had surely caused his too early death. When Emily heard about the vanished girls, she went into cardiac arrest. Her heart had been weak for a few years, but that had been the final straw. I suppose Sam simply died of a broken heart. It was sad, but at least he was with his soul mate now. There was some comfort to be taken from that.

"How are the kids dealing?" I asked, knowing Sam had been a true family man.

"Everything is... quiet. The whole rez is in mourning and it shows. Just wait," he said and then we both stayed silent after that.

It didn't take long for me to understand what he had meant. The closer we came to the town itself, the eerier the atmosphere became. In the distance, I could hear several people sobbing, some talking quietly about the memories they had off the once great Leader and others were simply breathing deeply, probably lost in thought, in grief. Then it hit me.

"Embry," he looked at me, "where's Leah?" My eyes showed my concern.

"No one knows. She overheard our conversation earlier today, about Sam and the next thing we know, we feel her phase and she's gone." His tone saddened even more, if possible, "I don't think she's coming back." He whispered.

I nodded, agreeing fully with him. This would be too hard a blow for her. It was bad enough when Emily died. Leah felt immensely guilty that she had never made amends with her old best friend, before she passed. But, this was even worse. Even decades later, Leah had never stopped loving Sam and his loss would surely kill her. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Unless she ran into trouble someday. Then I was sure she would allow herself to give up and give in to death.

A few more minutes passed in silence and then we reached the small house, near the cliffs. I could hear shuffling from inside and the whispers of low voices. I wondered how many of the Pack was in there, keeping an eye on the grieving man. I nodded to Embry who stayed outside, protecting me in case someone from the other Pack decided to pay us a malevolent visit. After all, the Pack that had stayed in La Push all these years were not used to the easy camaraderie between wolves and vampires.

I came to a full stop before walking in the door, closing it softly behind me. I immediately caught the familiar scents that no longer disgusted me. I could even distinguish who the scents belong to now. I knew that along with Jacob, two other wolves were in the small living room to my right. I looked to the corner of the kitchen, seeing the rusting and dust covered wheelchair, standing unused up against the wall. I said a small, mental prayer for the man who had been so good to the Swan family and then made my way into the adjoining room.

"Hey, Alice," Seth welcomed me, trying to smile and failing, "what brings you to these parts tonight?"

"I just wanted to say hi," I said, though they all knew better.

In the corner of the small room sat the man I had come for. His large form was bend over in an uncomfortable looking pose, sitting on the floor. His dark, empty eyes stared out into nothing and I shivered at the thought of how much he looked like Edward at the moment. But I suppose they did have too much in common. Both of their lives had been irrevocably altered when Isabella Swan moved to Forks.

"Hi, Jake," I tried to make my voice bubbly, "how are you doing?" I don't think I succeeded.

He didn't even seem to know that I was here, not a twitch of his eyes or a move of his muscles. I sighed and decided to try something different. I walked slowly across the room, passing a sympathetic Seth and a solemn Jalin on my way to the slumped body. I knelt down and touched a hand to his brown shoulder, letting my head fall with a sigh, when I got no reaction from him.

"C'mon, Jacob," I whispered to myself.

I switched from a kneeling position to a cross-legged one, facing him. I scooted closer, until skin was touching skin and then I wrapped my tiny arms around his huge form. I squeezed his biceps as hard as I could without actually hurting him and then I buried my face in his chest. I needed him to have no doubts that I was there for him. And I seemed to have made the right choice.

"Why," I heard him whisper, before he finally broke completely down.

I smiled to myself slightly. This was good. This was healthy. He could never truly accept what had happened, until he let himself feel the pain of the loss. And I was glad that I was the one to finally make him see that as well. I felt his strong arms wrap around me in a similar pose as my own. He laid his head on my pale shoulder and I felt the wetness of his tears, running down my back.

I didn't care. I just wanted him to deal. To heal.

I heard the relieved sigh from the two boys in the room and then the light footsteps of them leaving us alone. They knew that there was no need to keep watch right now, when I was here to look after him. They would be waiting outside with Embry, until it was time for me to leave again.

And that's how the next two hours went on. I held him as he sobbed into my shoulder, whispering painful, one-sentence words every once in awhile. But then the time was up and we both knew it. Simultaneously, we pulled apart and he offered me a small, watery smile as thanks. I think he finally realized, that even though his wife and best friend were gone, he wasn't completely alone. Which was exactly what I had been trying to accomplish.

No more words were spoken as I slipped a short, cold kiss onto his forehead, before standing up and leaving the small house. I passed the boys in silence, letting Embry fall into step with me once more. This time the entire trip was silent, until we made it to the treaty line. I saw Jonah standing by a tree and shortly wondered if he had been there for the whole two hours. I quickly decided that it didn't matter, it was his choice to make and then I turned to Embry.

"Thank you," he said emphatically, his emotions clear on his face.

"It was no problem," I whispered back, "he's my family too."

And then I ran for home.

I was not surprised when I arrived back at the house and found Emmett in the exact same position as I had left him in. I could hear Carlisle turning papers in his office and Edward whining slightly in his tiny room. I sighed, feeling like all the weight of the world was weighing down on me. I took one look at the slumped form of my brother and then I made a choice.

"I'm going hunting," I stated and without waiting for a response, ran back out the door.

This time I wanted to be alone, for a little while at least. Again, I ran opposite the scents of my husband and sister, but also opposite the reservation. I had hunted three days ago, so mostly it was just an excuse, but I knew that Emmett would understand. He was the only one who did these days.

I thought of my sister as I ran. I thought of her kind spirit, her beautiful smile, her gentle eyes, be they brown, red or topaz.

She had put a spell over our entire family, changing the way we lived and loved forever. How dare she do that and then leave? I felt instantly guilty at the thought, but knew that I would think it again someday. I wanted to hate her, for allowing herself to be hurt by someone, allow herself to be taken from our lives, but of course I couldn't. She was my best friend, my sister and I loved her unconditionally.

And then there was my niece.

My sweet Nessie. The girl who loved to go shopping with me, who refused to see her own mother in clothes that wasn't of the utmost quality. The girl who brought a light into this family, into Edward, that none of us ever thought possible, even with the arrival of Bella. She made the impossible, possible, just by existing.

How could she be gone?

I wanted nothing more than to shed a tear for my beloved family, the ones gone and the ones still left, but couldn't. I cursed my existence now, for the first time ever, wishing that I could go back, change it all. Make it better.

But more than anything, I wished that wherever Bella and Nessie were right now, they were happy.


	11. Delicate Denials

**Delicate Denials**

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
March 9th, 2005**

* * *

It was very hard, in the morning, to argue with the part of me that was sure last night was a nightmare. I clung to the parts that had been less painful, like the smell of my husband that blanketed the interior of the Volvo. I could never have dreamed that up on my own.

It was foggy and dark outside my window, absolutely perfect. He had no reason not to be in school today. I dressed in heavy clothes, matching my solemn mood. Further proof of the reality of the nightmare. When I got downstairs, Dad was gone already. I was running later than I'd realized, but it was okay. I had a feeling I wouldn't be driving to school in my truck today.

I swallowed a granola bar in three bites, chased it down with milk straight from the carton and then hurried out the door.

Hopefully the rain would hold off, until I reached the safety of a classroom. I looked like a drowned rat, when my hair was wet.

It was unusually foggy; the air was almost smoky with it. The mist was ice cold where it clung to the exposed skin on my face and neck. I couldn't wait to get into the heat of a car, whether it be my truck or the Volvo. It was such a thick fog that I was a few feet down the driveway before I saw that my thoughts were dead on. The shiny, silver car was parked against the curve of the road.

My heart thudded, stuttered and then picked up again in double time. Suddenly he was standing right in front of me, holding the passenger door open for me. "Do you want to ride with me today?" he asked, amused by my expression as he witnessed the wide grin on my lips. There was uncertainty in his voice, as he gave me a choice, not sure which one I would lean towards. Insecure fool.

"Yes, thank you," I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

As I slipped into the warm car, I noticed his tan jacket was lying on the back seat and I thought of how I had no excuse this time, to pull it on. Damn. The door closed behind me and as fast as he could move, he was suddenly sitting beside me, starting the car. I guess he saw my wistful look and decided to explain himself.

"I brought the jacket, since it's suppose to be chilly today. Have to keep up the pretense," he chuckled, a lot more at ease with my knowledge of his secret today, thankfully.

We drove through the fog-shrouded streets, as always too fast, the atmosphere slightly awkward. Last night all the walls were down at last... almost all. I didn't know how to behave myself today. After what had happened with Katie Marshall, I was unsure of how to proceed, if I wanted my plan to succeed. It left me tongue-tied. I waited for him to speak, instead.

He turned to smirk at me. "What, no twenty questions today?"

"Do my questions bother you?" I asked.

"Not as much as you reactions do." He looked like he was joking, but I knew better.

I frowned. "Do I react badly?"

"No, that's the problem. You take everything so coolly, it's unnatural. It makes me wonder what you're really thinking."

"I always tell you what I'm really thinking."

"You edit," he accused.

"Not very much," I murmured.

"Enough to drive me insane."

"You don't want to hear it," I mumbled, almost whispered.

As soon as the words were out, I regretted them. Not the words themselves, but the faint pain in my voice which I was sure he had noticed. When it came to me, he hardly ever missed a thing. He didn't respond and I knew that I had ruined the good mood of the morning. His face was annoyingly unreadable, as we drove into the school parking lot. I chose to ask the question I was sure he was waiting for.

"Where's the rest of your family?" I asked, more than glad to be alone with him, but remembering that I'm not suppose to know that already.

"They took Rosalie's car." He shrugged as he parked next to the glossy red M3 convertible, with the top up. "Ostentatious, isn't it?"

"Um, wow," I struggled to find the correct reaction. "If she has that, why does she ride with you?"

"Like I said, it's ostentatious. We try to blend in."

"You don't succeed." I laughed and shook my head as we got out of the car. I wasn't late anymore, of course, thanks to his speed. "So, why did Rosalie drive today if it's more conspicuous?"

"Haven't you noticed? I'm breaking all the rules now."

He met me at the front of the car, staying very close to my side as we walked onto campus. I wanted to close that little distance, to reach out and take his hand in mine, but I knew he wouldn't let me. It was too soon for him and I knew that I should respect that. It was just difficult.

"Why do you have cars like that at all?" I kept up the string of conversation, so the silence wouldn't become deafening. "If you're looking for privacy?"

"An indulgence," he admitted with an impish smile. "We all like to drive fast."

I joined him in the laughter, knowing how true that really was. Under the shelter of the cafeteria roof's overhang, I saw Angela's solemn figure, waiting for me it seemed. I called out her name when we were a few feet away, seeing her nod her head in response. I felt the gnawing guilt return at her demure face.

"Good morning, Angela," Edward said politely, conveying his empathy with his tone.

"Um... hi," she whispered, looking down at the ground. Then her eyes found mine. "I guess I'll see you in Trig, Bella." She gave me a meaningful look and I knew she wanted to talk. How on earth was I supposed to help her, when I could barely help myself right now?

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

She walked away, head hung low and feet shuffling across the ground.

"How is she holding up?" I asked in a somber voice, turning to my husband.

He sighed, staring at the spot she had just occupied, not answering just yet. I had an idea of what he was thinking, as he had mentioned before how much he had liked Angela. And not just for her kind and selfless thoughts, but for how she acted with me.

"She is trying her best not to think about it and at the same time, worrying about how you're doing."

Typical Angela, I sighed, hiking my bag higher up on my shoulder. There was nothing for me to do, but prepare myself for the coming conversation. After the one I had just gotten through with dad, this really shouldn't give me these emotions.

But what could possibly have prepared me for the talk that was sure to come?

I just had to do my best, to keep the overwhelming guilt out of my voice.

Even if I didn't deserve anyone's pity.

"Maybe you should sit with her at lunch," he said, looking at me with a sad expression. Whether it was the loss of time alone with me, or what Angela was going through, I couldn't tell. "To ease her mind and be there for her."

I sighed, again. "Yeah, you're right. I'll see you in Biology." I said, looking into his eyes with a small smile, before walking off towards my first class of what was sure to be a long day.

This time around there were no interruptions in English, as I had nothing about their date to talk to Mike about. For that matter, he was a bit quieter than usual, which made perfect sense. Katie Marshall had been a friend to all of the same people I had surrounded myself with, the first time.

It was sitting there, in the middle of one of Mr. Mason's lectures on the old classics, that the speaker crackled and we heard the voice of the principal come on the line. His tone was a cautious one, and it didn't take a fool to realize what announcement he had for us, as only those closest to the victim already knew, due to the involvement of Jessica and the still-hospitalized Lauren.

For once, telling something personal, didn't make Jess a gossip.

I tried my best to zone out the voice overhead, already aware of what was being said, and not in any mood to hear it again. Instead, I focused on the reactions of my classmates.

Mike seemed to sink even lower into his chair, his hands clenching into fists and obviously trying to hold back tears.

Others had the exact same reaction and I recognized them as people I had shared a table with, the last time. But I was morbidly curious to see the responses from those that had not called Katie a close friend.

Some were horrified by the news of a death, hitting so close to home, but it didn't move past that, until grief hit them. For most of them, I think the real thought passing through them, was relief that it hadn't been them and then probably guilt for thinking that in the first place.

Doing my best to remain inconspicuous, and probably failing horribly, I looked out of the corner of my eye, to the person a few seats from me. The statuesque blonde, who had damaged my self esteem the first time around, who knew the full story much better than even the principal, I was sure.

Knowing her past, how she came into this existence, it was difficult to judge Rosalie's exact reaction.

Her finely polished and expertly painted fingernails were cutting deeply into the wooden table, as her hands grabbed the sides in an attempt to keep her cool exterior. Her eyes stared straight forward, to the blackboard, her mouth turned down in a permanent frown, it seemed. Had she been human, surely her whole body would've been shivering, but instead, she was as still as the statue of time that she truly was.

I kept my eye on her, for the rest of the speech, trying to spot movement in her, but none ever came. Until the end, when we were asked to take a moment of silence for our fellow classmate. As every person in the room, including Mr. Mason, bowed their heads and folded their hands, my future sister finally acknowledged my presence.

She turned her head slightly to the side, enough for one of her topaz eyes to catch mine and I stared unabashedly back, wondering what was going through her head at that exact moment. We kept up the silent stance, neither one willing to back down or show any weakness, until the teacher called out for the class' attention and we simultaneously, as though through an unspoken agreement, turned out heads back to the front.

Only then did something strange occur to me. There hadn't been an ounce of dislike in Rosalie's eyes.

The bell rang not long after and I met up with Monster in the hall, as we silently walked side by side towards Government, the one class we had together. Sensing a need for it, she reached out her hand and grabbed mine, squeezing it softly in comfort. She knew, more than anyone else, how hard this was hitting me.

Even if she didn't agree with the place of blame.

The rest of the day went by, much the same. Classes were quieter than ever before, as everyone was forced to deal with their own humanity, in the face of such a tragedy. It was one thing to see it on the news, but this close to home... No one quite knew how to properly deal with it.

There were even rumors of the school bringing in a grief counselor.

At the entry to the cafeteria, I stopped and explained to Ren what was going to happen. After all, she still thought I was leaving her to sit with her father again. She frowned, but nodded, silently offering her own support to the coming conversation, both to me and to Angela, who would definitely need it the most.

We slowly made our way to the table, neither of us hungry at the moment, and as we approached, a frowning Ben rose from his seat, gave us a tiny smile and walked over to my old table. What he didn't say, was obvious; he was giving us girls a moment alone, hoping we'd have a better job consoling his girlfriend, than he had had.

"Hi, Angela," I said, trying to be as monotone as possible, not knowing what she'd appreciate more, fake happiness or real sadness.

She presented us with wet eyes and barely even attempted a smile, as we each took a seat on either side of her. My left arm was put on the table, while the right one made its way around my friends waist. Monster rubbed circles on Angela's back and each of our attempt of consoling, did the one thing that was probably healthy for her, right now.

She broke down.

Not caring about the attention this might get her, she burst into horrid sobs, that seemed to shake her entire body and reminded me of the time that Edward had left me for my own good. Only in many ways, this was so much worse. At least I had known that he was out there somewhere, still existing.

For Angela, a girl she had known since they wore diapers, would never breathe again, never yawn, eat, laugh or cry. She would now and forever be nothing but a cold body, a memory to be buried as people moved on with their lives. I was sure that some of Angela's grief, was for the fact that even she, would have to get past this. If not for herself, then for Katie.

I hadn't known the girl well, if at all, even the first time around, but surely she would want that for the people she left behind. Just as I'm sure Lauren would've, had it been her to fall. Even a teenager could look past her own vanity, especially upon passing from the earthly plane, and see the world for what it was. To wish better for those they've left behind.

Angela finally seemed to run out of tears, as she silently shook, murmuring non-sequential words too low for me to hear.

Though from the obvious pain in Ren's eyes, not too low for her advanced hearing. I looked towards the table in the back, that held my family and realized that they were watching too.

Not closely, of course, and I only noticed because I knew them so well. Rosalie was sitting in much the same position as she had in class and Alice wasn't much better, despite having never known the grief of humanity before. Jasper appeared cold, but I knew better and wondered if maybe he wasn't thinking about all those times, since moving here, where he had come close to causing such grief in the student body. Emmett had his eyes on his wife, watching for any sign of distress, beyond what she was obviously already feeling, and Edward...

Edward was watching me.

I was under no illusion that he didn't care about Angela's feelings, but as always I came first. Just as he would always do with me, along with our daughter. He knew I felt guilty, though he didn't know why, other than what little I had told him in the car. His eyes followed my every move, most likely worried about when it was my turn to break down.

I wondered if he hadn't stuck around last night, to hear what Charlie had endured from me.

I ignored these thoughts, offered my husband a small smile and turned my attention back on the grieving friend beside me, who had calmed down some. My arm was still around her waist and Monster was still rubbing circles, but Angela seemed better. Like I knew it would, breaking down, finally allowing herself to _feel_ it, had helped. If only just a little.

"I'm sorry about that," she whispered, looking for all the world as if she were about to crash into a million pieces any minute now.

"There's no need to apologize, honey, it's more than understandable." Ren offered, looking to me for help.

"Vanessa's right, Ang, don't be sorry. Is there something you wanna talk about? Anything you want."

We would be the shoulder to cry on, the ear that listened or the mouth that took her mind off recent events. Whatever she needed us to be, is what we would strive to become. For now, it was all about her.

"I don't know what I want. For her to come back, for all of this to just be a horrible nightmare." The one thing we couldn't give her. "Before high school, before Jess and Lauren, Katie was my best friend," she whispered, painting me a picture that only served to worsen my guilt, "we did everything together. From kindergarten, all up until puberty."

"Do you want to tell us about it? Maybe it'll help to remember her as she was, when she was here." Ren said, proving just how much she had been taught by her empathic uncle.

Angela seemed to respond well to this suggestion and it gave me a small ounce of hope. I needed to pull her through this and not just to alleviate my own guilt, but for her sake. For everyone's sake, really. If Angela, the most clear headed girl in school, could work through this, maybe, just maybe, she could be there to help Lauren, Jessica and all the others do the same.

"What was she like?" I asked, prodding her to start the healing process.

And maybe just a bit curious as well, about the personality of the girl whose death I was responsible for.

"I can't say for certain about recently, but I remember what she used to be like," she said, a distant look in her eyes and a sad, but wistful smile on her face. "When I was a kid, my parents had this summer house on the other side of Washington. Katie used to come with us, before the twins were born, so I wouldn't be so alone."

"I remember this one time," she sniffled, eyes far away from the cafeteria room, "we were going for a walk in the woods. We had gone away from the path, even though my dad had warned us not to. We were only seven, so we didn't take it too seriously. Katie called out my name, all excited and I found her next to this tiny river, flowing through the dense forest. Her eyes were shining with glee, because she had been the one to find such beauty." She smiled through her falling tears.

"It was starting to get dark and I wanted to get back, before my parents came looking for us. But Katie, she said that she was having fun and begged me to wait just a little while longer. She looked so happy, her legs dipped in the gray water, that I couldn't deny her this. I walked around the small river and sat on the opposite side of her, so that we could look at each other. We both couldn't stop smiling, stupidly." She hiccuped, trying to push away the painful sobs.

I squeezed her side, silently lending her my comfort, as she prepared to continue. I had a feeling we were coming to an important part of the story, one that would be very hard for her to tell.

"She was telling me this joke, that she had heard at school and I couldn't stop laughing. I remember grabbing my stomach and closing my eyes, and then suddenly... I felt really wet. Turns out I had lost my balance and fallen into the river. Even though it was small, so was I, and I panicked, unable to get my head out of the water. I couldn't stop swallowing it, as it poured down my throat, burning." She had a serene look on her face now and a small smile appeared on her face.

"Katie didn't run for help. The paramedics said that if she had, I would've died. Instead, she threw her own seven year old body into the river and used every strength she had, to pull me out. She sat by my side, yelling my name and telling me to wake up. Even through all of the pain and dizziness, I still heard her and I felt this overwhelming need to do what she said. So I kept myself awake, for her, until the paramedics showed up."

I felt a single tear on my cheek, as I pictured her words in my head. They must both have been so scared. Too young to have to deal with such a scare. I realized now, the fullness of Angela's loss. She and Katie may not have spoken much in the latter years, but the memories never went away. To know that if not for Katie, Angela wouldn't be here right now.

And now, she was gone instead.

And Angela hadn't been there to return the favor, to save her.

My guilt was only heightened.

I vaguely registered Ren's soothing words, whispered into the ear of a friend I didn't deserve. More so than ever before, I knew that it should have been me. I had already lived a full life, one longer than most people, with a loving family, a beautiful husband and a sweet daughter. Katie had still had her whole life ahead of her, but because some twist of fate send me back, it had been taken from her, in the most cruel of ways.

What had I done?

The final bell rang and I sluggishly made my way back to the locker room, to change out of my uniform. Ever since lunch I had been unable to control my emotions. It was certainly a good thing that Jasper wouldn't be surprised by my current state, even if the reasons behind it were much different than what he thought.

Slowly I packed up my things, knowing that Edward would patiently wait for me to come out, so he could drive me home. I wanted to wait until most of the other kids were gone, not quite ready yet to deal with Angela. I wanted nothing more than to be a good friend to her, to support her in her grief, but I didn't feel like I deserved to carry that role.

Ren had promised to spend some time with her, though, and that made me feel a little better.

At least someone would be there for her, when I couldn't.

When I finally made it outside, there was only one car left in the lot, the silver Volvo that my husband was leaning against.

He carried a frown on his beautiful features, and I knew that it was because of his worry for me. He knew I was blaming myself, but he didn't understand why I should. I just had to let him know, in no uncertain ways, not to try and convince me otherwise.

It wouldn't work.

He didn't speak as I reached him, only offered me a sad smile as he took my bag from me and helped me into the passenger seat. Slower than I had ever driven with him behind the wheel, we made our way down the long road to Charlie's house. I wondered how long it would be, before the silence was broken.

Surprisingly, though, when he did finally speak, it had nothing to do with recent events.

"Bella," he said, reaching over the console to lightly grab my hand in his, "do you really need to go to Seattle this weekend, or are you open to other plans?" He had a small smile on his face, though there was still worry in his eyes.

Despite the harrowing emotions inside me, I couldn't help the small sliver of joy, when I realized that he was planning on taking me to the meadow. Our meadow. Common sense told me that he would not let our earlier conversation go, but I was pleased that he was giving me some metaphorical space. And that he was changing the subject in such a nice way.

"I'm open to alternatives," I said, in a coy voice that made him turn his head to me.

I vaguely remembered mentioning a favor last time, explaining why we drove to the meadow in my old truck. However, since my dad now knew the truth, the reasons for that particular favor was unnecessary and I reveled in that. It would mean more time spent in our favorite place, if we took the Volvo, or even my new truck.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, realizing that someone who didn't know the future would be curious.

"The weather will be nice, so I'll be staying out of the public eye... and you can stay with me, if you'd like to." He was leaving the choice up to me and I wanted to roll my eyes.

There was never anything I wanted more than to spend my time with Edward.

"Does this mean I'll get to see why you and your family are never around on sunny days? Since it obviously doesn't involve combusting into dust." I added the last part, knowing it would make him laugh.

His chuckle sent shivers down my spine.

"Yes," he smiled, and then paused. Here we go. "But, if you don't want to be... alone with me, I'd still rather you didn't go to Seattle by yourself. I shudder to think of the trouble you could find in a city that size." Despite having found less trouble than the first time, I had instead, been in a six week coma and escaped death last night, so I did understand where he was coming from.

Even if he had always been a bit melodramatic.

Skipping over my huffy reply about being safe in Phoenix, I decided to stop teasing him and just be honest. Well, about all but my big secret of course.

I knew I was being a bit of a hypocrite, now that I knew his secret, but for reasons I had yet to truly delve into, I wasn't ready for him to know.

"As it happens, I don't mind being alone with you."

"I know," he sighed, brooding. "You should tell your father, though."

I smiled, knowing that at least this time, I could adhere to his request. "Well, that can easily be fixed, by you introducing yourself when you come to pick me up on Saturday." I said with a smile, knowing this would please him.

"It's a date," he said, an overwhelming emotion in his voice.

After almost a century alone, it must seem strange and quite marvelous, to finally be speaking those words. And yet, the word 'date' didn't sound strong enough, but that might just be because I remember being married to the man. I couldn't fault him for not feeling the same way, having only known me for such a short time.

He intended to woo me and I was going to let him.

By now, we were parked in the driveway, the cruiser there as well. This would unfortunately give Edward an excuse to not sit here with me, for the next many hours. I wanted nothing more than to be around him always, now that the veil had been lifted and I was supposed to know about his true self. The only elephant left in the room now, was my own secret.

I wondered when I would be ready for it and how he would take it.

Though his reaction is exactly why I'm procrastinating.

"You should go inside, before your father becomes suspicious." He said, not sounding too pleased either, that our time was being cut short.

Dad must be keeping his promise and not thinking anything incriminating. I would have to do something soon, to show my appreciation of how easily he has accepted all of this.

"I'll tell him about you tonight, and our plans for Saturday. He'll have to start accepting the fact that you'll be around a lot more." I said, slyly. I loved to see that look of pleasure on his face, when I mentioned him being in my life as a constant.

We said a quiet goodbye and I agreed to let him pick me up again tomorrow. I may love my new truck, but I'd much rather spend more time with my husband, if those were the choices. I heard him speeding down the road, before I had even made it to the door and my smiled vanished just as quickly.

So much had changed, from just a few days ago. Back when I was still happy, when things were going the way Ren and I had wanted it to, when Katie Marshall was still alive and well, and Lauren and Jessica weren't faced with a lifetime of nightmares and psychiatric bills.

All because I had decided to change something that hadn't needed change.

I mean, everything had turned out well in the end, right? Why had I been so desperate to not just let things happen?

I let myself fall back into despair, as I stepped into the house. It was strange to come home to the cruiser outside, but no sound of the TV in the living room. Obviously, I wasn't the only one with other things on my mind. Yesterdays events hadn't sat well with dad, either. Especially the fact that it could've been me, though I had told him many times that if I hadn't changed anything, nothing bad would've happened.

Enter the guilt, once again.

"Bells, is that you?" I heard his voice, from the back of the house.

"Yeah, Dad, I'll be right with you," I called back, before shrugging out of my coat and depositing my school bag on the kitchen floor.

After getting out of my shoes and pulling my wet hair into a loose ponytail, I walked through the living room and passed the backdoor, to find Charlie in the small room at the very back of the house. It wasn't a place that had ever been used before, at least not as more than storage. In a town as rainy as this one, it was never safe to keep possessions in the garage, in case of a flood.

Since the house didn't have a basement, this was the room where everything was kept. Including my old crib, boxes of baby clothes that Renee had left behind when she took me with her all those years ago, some old fishing stuff that dad wouldn't get rid off even though it was rusty and other small things like that.

I couldn't figure out what he was doing in here, until I fully entered the cramped space.

"What are you doing, Dad?" I asked, surprised by the sight.

The room was almost completely empty of things, only a few boxes left, that he was currently going through. He was sitting on the dusty floor, rummaging through what appeared to be toys from my early years of visiting him here for the summer. I caught eye of a ratted, old bear, a doll missing an eye and a toy police cruiser. What I didn't see, was the reason for this.

"Well, now that I know the truth, there is no way I'm letting my granddaughter stay in that house, all by herself. So, I'm clearing out this room, to turn into a bedroom. Renesmee can take my room and I'll move down here." He said, never once looking up, though I'm sure if he did, he would be red as a tomato.

"Oh, Dad, you didn't have to do that." Although I suppose a lot of it was him wanting to see more of Monster.

"Yeah, well, it's done," he said, clearly uncomfortable. "Renesmee is packing right now and she'll move in this weekend. You won't mind helping, will you?" He finally looked up.

"You know I'd love to, but I already made plans. I'm spending the weekend with Edward. We only have plans for Saturday so far, but if things go as they did last time, I'll be spending Sunday at his home, meeting the Cullens."

I wanted to applaud him for not becoming too uncomfortable with the topic of my future husband, but decided against it. No need to make things harder for him, than they already were. I waited for him to get off the floor and dust himself off, before he spoke, still not looking at me.

"I guess that's okay. I'm sure, between the two of us, we can have this room ready anyway." I knew he wasn't really upset, just freaked out by the thought of me dating.

The granddaughter, he could deal with, but not how she came to be?

I suppose, even knowing the truth, he still thought of me as his seventeen year old little girl. I could understand that, I guess. All I had to do was think of the day my Monster got married. It might have been to my best friend, but it didn't make it any less emotional. I would also always see her as the little girl who needed me and her father to protect her from everything, including herself.

But sometimes you just had to let your children go.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

"Come on, why don't you leave this for now. I'm sure there's a game on that you should be watching?" I teased him, as he followed me out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I decided to get started on dinner, even though it was still early. I took my time, trying to block out all of my emotions and not think about anything but the ingredients in front of me. I didn't have time to break down and I really didn't want to scare my dad either. I would leave that for bed time.

We shared a nice quiet meal, talking a little bit about my future. Nothing too scandalous, just what I did with so much time and how it felt to constantly repeat school. Surely for an outsider this would seem a strange conversation to be having, but I had taken precautions. Before sitting down to eat I had made sure there would be no eavesdropping vampire in the nearby vicinity and felt secure in my openness with my dad.

When I returned to my room, after doing the dishes, I found my daughter in my room, waiting for me. I wondered why she hadn't just come through the front door, until I saw the look on her face. She wanted to talk.

And I think I knew what about.

My frown deepened and I wondered if there was any way to avoid this, but one look at her determined face told me more than words could. I let my shoulders sag in defeat and went over to sit by her on the bed. I leaned my back against the headboard and let her put her arms around me.

And then I allowed myself to lose it.

I can't remember the last time I sobbed in such a devastating way and it ached inside to know that I didn't deserve these tears. I didn't deserve the freedom it gave, to let everything out, the way it had done for Angela at lunch. No, what I deserved was to suffer the guilt, for however long I continued to exist in this world.

More than ever before did I deserve to be a vampire, just so I could suffer for all of eternity.

Obviously Ren felt the shift in me and realized that by keeping silent, she was only allowing me to stew in my own self hatred. So, she leaned in so her mouth was by my ear, and started to whisper words, even as I refused to listen.

"I will not have you blaming yourself, Bella. It wont do you any good and it wont bring Katie back or stop the others from hurting. You did, what any other person in your position would do, when faced with knowledge of future events. You tried to stop it, tried to keep those men from hurting anyone else. The fact that it ended up backfiring, was not your fault. Unless you feel relief that Katie Marshall is gone, you have no reason to feel guilty. In fact, the mere thought that you are taking this so hard, should only prove how much and deeply you care."

I tried not to be affected by her heartfelt words, but it was difficult. A small part of me knew that she was right, if only partly. I did know that I wasn't a bad person, that my grief was proving that, but that still didn't lessen the guilt. It still didn't take away the cold, hard reality that it was all my fault.

Talking of things I didn't deserve, the biggest thing yet came to mind.

I didn't deserve Edward, or his kind family.

I was the monster.

Day turned to night as Ren kept whispering encouraging words in my ear, but I stopped listening a long time ago. I did, however, notice how much she skirted over the truth and realized that Edward must be close by, waiting for my friend to leave so he could be the one holding me.

Another positive outcome of finally 'knowing the truth'.

Suddenly something fell into my lap and I looked down to see a small note lying there, in my daughter's handwriting. I looked up at her but she was pretending that nothing was out of the ordinary. She was obviously trying to avoid bringing this to her father's attention.

 _I can tell that he's getting anxious, so I'm going to let this go, for now. We_ _ **will**_ _talk more ab out this later, Mom! I can't stand to see you like this, please grasp that. I wont let you punish yourself for something that was out of your control. And please, try to get some sleep. I'll see you in school tomorrow. I love you._

"Alright, I'm gonna go. I hope you feel better, Bella. Bye," she said, giving me one last emotional look, before leaving the room.

A few minutes later I heard the cruiser leaving and realized that it would seem odd that she leave on foot, to the vampire outside. I also realized that she was getting my dad out of the house, just in case something happened to bring him to my room. I wasn't sure I would be able to get myself to leave Edward's arms, once he finally had them wrapped around me.

Not tonight.

"Hello," I heard his voice, as the whisper of the wind told me he had arrived.

I turned my eyes on him and he must've seen the unadulterated pain and horror reflected in them, as he flashed to my side and began rocking me back and forth, leaving soft kisses on my head and whispers of support in my ear. It was as sweet an image as the one of my daughter and I, and just as redundant. The tight fist was still clenched around my broken heart.

I felt the coolness of his granite skin, seeping through my clothes and as I began to shiver I knew he would be leaving my side. Just as I thought that, he sighed and moved to simply sit beside me, holding my hand and rubbing circles on my skin with his pale thumb.

I supposed it was better than him standing at the other end of the room.

He must sense my need for him right now.

"I don't know what to say, to make you stop blaming yourself, but I'm never going to stop trying. I just want you to know that, love. I will also listen to anything you feel the need to let out. Never forget that I am here for you."

I let a few more tears escape, as I stared at the other end of the wall, considering his words. There was so much I wanted to say, but I had no idea how do go about it. I finally decided to just tear down my mental filter and say whatever came to me at the moment.

"I've never had a single conversation with her, y'know. I mean, even Lauren has spoken to me, if only on brief occasions, but not her. I don't even think I could remember the sound of her voice, if I tried. I wouldn't even have known her name, if Angela hadn't mentioned her while we were dress shopping." I choked out, remembering how that day had ended.

"I don't know what her life was like. If her parents are divorced, if she had any sisters or brothers, if she did well in school. I don't know what her plans for her future was, if she had a dream or if she was unclear about her life beyond High School. I did, however, know that she didn't like me, because she thought I was taking Eric away from her."

"She died, thinking that the boy she liked didn't want her. That her childhood friend had chosen me over her. She died not knowing if her two closest friends would survive her own fate. Her death was cruel and unnecessary, in more ways than one. But most importantly, she died when she didn't have to. She died in my place."

And that was the crux of the matter.

I couldn't go on, as I buried my head in my hands. I felt his arm snake around my back until his hand rested on my hip, as he stroked soothing circles in my skin. I was too far gone to even consider how little boundaries there were now, than there had been the first time around.

When it did break through my mood, though, I realized something very important. My dad had returned by now and was sleeping in his room. I was lying on the bed, under the covers, as Edward sat on top, stroking my hair. I thought of how close he was to me, about how receptive he had been to me since I decided to stop being bitchy and just flirt instead.

It was like a battering ram to my skull, when I finally had that one, important thought.

What about all of changes I had made for the better?

My relationship with my dad had never been better, even if it still needed more work. Angela, not counting recent events, seemed happier and more relaxed than she had the last time. Jacob was coming around and might not spend too much time liking me for all the wrong reasons. The men would never be let out onto the streets again, as they probably had last time.

Most importantly of all, though, was the changes to my love. He was so unrestrained, not as careful with rules or with showing me his affections. Which in turn made him easier to handle. He didn't seem to be as masochistic as I remembered him being while I was still human.

Another important change, that I had almost let myself forget, was Leah Clearwater. So much of her pain and bitterness, had caused a ripple effect within the tribe and later the pack. Both of them. Keeping her the sweet, kind girl that Emily had once told me about, was a benefit for so many. Perhaps even for the future relationship between wolves and vampires.

I could do this.

Of course, I would never, not once, stop blaming myself or forget the loss that I had caused. But if I just forced myself to focus on the positive sides of this situation, it would be easier to deal with. I might even be able to start breathing again.

Not so much for my own sake, but for my dad, my daughter, my husband, and so many more people who were a part of my life, or someday would be. Angela, who would need my friendship more than ever now, even if I didn't deserve hers.

Leah, who needed someone to be on her side, for once, as both of her parents were, for reasons unknown to her, on Sam and Emily's. Jacob, who would soon phase and then imprint on a strange girl, and would thus need someone to help him through it and explain everything that he wouldn't understand.

My family, though unaware right now, would need me as well. This was just the calm before the storm.

There were things coming, events I was beginning to doubt I could stop. That maybe I shouldn't stop, for fear that it would make everything worse.

This was what I would do.

Keep my mind busy, so as not to break down and cover myself in a blanket of despair. For Charlie, Ren, Leah, my sisters and brothers.

For Edward.

With that slightly peaceful thought in mind, I was finally able to relax, as I fell into a dreamless sleep, waiting for tomorrow to come.

And whatever came with it.


	12. Electric Emotions

**Electric Emotions**

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
March 10th, 2005**

* * *

The next day came quicker than I was ready for, despite my resolve last night to try my best and think of the positive.

When Edward came to pick me up this morning, there was silence on the entire ride to school. Thankfully it wasn't the awkward kind, but it was still a bit uncomfortable. I knew he was upset that I was blaming myself, but for now there was nothing I could do.

In time, I hoped to prove that I could deal with it and move on.

When lunch came around, I walked into the cafeteria, Edward by my side, to see Angela and Monster sitting together at our usual table. I allowed my husband to steer me through the food line and towards an empty table, while keeping my eyes on my daughter and grieving friend.

Angela seemed to be doing a little bit better today, as she wasn't currently crouched over herself. Her and Ren were talking quietly, but since my daughter wasn't physically touching Angela, I figured I could stop worrying so much at the moment and just let myself enjoy the time with Edward.

I sat down, next to him this time, and started picking apart my lunch, not really in the mood for eating. It would probably come back to bite me later, but I'd make myself a sandwich when I got home. I should've known, though, that my husband didn't miss anything, when it had to do with me. He never did.

"Eat something, love." he pleaded with me and I didn't have the heart to turn him down.

I quickly stuffed something in my mouth, not really paying attention to what it was. I was only doing it to placate him, after all. I kept eating, as I waited for him to speak, knowing that he had something on his mind.

"You seem... more calm, today," he said in a sigh, a mix of relief and yet agony still.

"Yes, well, I think I came to a decision last night," I said, not elaborating and he seemed to catch on to the fact that it wasn't something I was going to share with him.

The frustration was back in his face, I noted with a secret smile, hidden behind the slice of pizza he was practically forcing down my throat. I wondered, for a moment, if I should feel guilty for smiling, laughing, being happy, when Lauren was still in the hospital and Katie's body was barely cold.

And then I decided that I had every right to be full of joy. Yes, I would never stop blaming myself, rightfully so, for what happened that night, but I would also go on with the life I still had, the one that Katie had taken from her, so early. I would live, not just for myself or my father, not just for my husband, daughter or my family, but for her. I would live, because Katie couldn't.

I felt a cool blanket of touch on my skin, and looked up to see a pale hand, lying on top of my own. While he was certainly still frustrated, there was a look of wonder in his topaz eyes as well. I wondered, not for the first time, how things could be so different, this time around.

For some reason, the things I had changed, for the worse I might add, had made Edward more open. He was touching me more than he had, at this point, originally. He was also talking more, letting me in. Smiling more, not as moody. But that last part could probably be explained away, as the fact that he had only had to save my life once, so far, and it was from himself so I didn't count it. He could never hurt me.

Last time, he had saved me from Tyler's van and from those _men_. However, these things hadn't happened now. In his mind I was a klutzy girl, with a tendency to take blame for everything around me, but... I wasn't a danger magnet. Sure, I had been run over by June Richardson and stumbled upon the horrible scene of a murder and rape, but without being the one to save me, despite being a mind reader, he still didn't feel it, the way he had last time.

It was quite the turn, but a good one I was sure.

The first good change I had made so far.

I wasn't counting my relationship with my dad, just yet, as I still had no idea where that was going to go. I had hope, but that was also all I had. It was better than nothing, I guess.

"Bella," he spoke, pulling me away from my thoughts.

I looked up to see that handsome, crooked smirk on his lips, as he caught me in a daze. I rolled my eyes and returned his smile, waiting for him to speak again, knowing he had something on his mind, again.

And I had a feeling I knew what it was.

"I haven't brought this up yet, because it was obvious that you were going through something. You appear to be better today, as I said earlier, so I need to ask. Your comment in the car, the other night?" He said, obviously not daring to say the actual words out loud.

"Oh, you mean the part about you visiting my room, at night when I sleep?" I said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

He seemed to choke on his breath as he nodded, slowly, his hands fisting at his side. I understood this reaction, recognized it. This was where he was waiting for me to run, screaming all the while. Silly man, doesn't he know?

I looked at him, with what I hoped was an innocent expression. Once again I was glad that I was the exception to his gift, since it allowed me to do, what I hated doing. Lie to his face. But this was too important. I had already changed so much for the worse, I wasn't ready to tell him my story, only to have him leave me.

And by now, I should know that that's a very real possibility.

"It wasn't something I was sure of, until I found out your... secret. But I had a suspicion. It was more feelings, than actual fact. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and just _feel_ a presence. I guess a part of me _wanted_ it to be you, so that's the conclusion I came to. But, hearing the truth, I was sure I had been right. And I am, aren't I?" I sent him a smug smile, trying to hide the pain of the lie.

Though, the first time around I _did_ have such thoughts. They just weren't as concrete as I made them out to be, just now. He had a thoughtful look on his face, but I saw the small smile touching his lips. Perhaps he was relieved that I knew, as it would help him in future visits. To know that I wasn't disgusted by it, as I knew he had been with himself, the first time he came through my window.

Finally, the war in himself seemed over, the winning side being joy, as a genuine and beautiful smile lit up his face and he reached out to take my hand once more. I squeezed the rock in my fingers, knowing that he would feel it, even as I didn't move an inch of his marble skin.

The gesture was seen for what it was.

Acceptance.

Something I knew he had never wanted more, than he wanted it from me. Even more than he had ever wanted it, _needed_ it, from his father, our father, Carlisle. And I would always be there, like Carlisle, to grant that to him. Because he deserved it.

The bell rang, then, and I realized that we had spend more than twenty minutes in silence, simply holding hands over the table. The smile on my face only widened at that thought, as I gave him one more squeeze, before letting go. It was easier, no longer touching him, when I knew that we still had one more hour together. It was time for Biology.

Everyone watched as we walked together to our lab table. I noted, with a smile, that he was no longer angling his chair, to sit as far from me as the desk would allow. Instead, he sat quite close beside me, our arms almost touching.

Mr. Banner backed into the room then – what superb timing the man had – pulling a tall metal frame on wheels that held a heavy-looking, outdated TV and VCR. A movie day – the lift in the class atmosphere was almost tangible.

Mr. Banner shoved the tape into the reluctant VCR and walked to the wall to turn off the lights.

And then, as the room went black, I was suddenly hyper aware that Edward was sitting less than an inch from me. I was stunned, having forgotten this day, and the unexpected electricity that had flowed through me, hummed between us now, again, amazed at the intense energy that I hadn't felt since my change.

Mostly because I had gotten used to it, by then.

The impulse to reach over and touch him, to stroke his perfect face just once in the darkness, was too much to ignore. But I settled for simply taking his cool hand in my warm one. He jumped slightly in surprise, having obviously not heard the thought behind the action, but he soon relaxed in his seat, again.

The opening credits began, lighting the room by a token amount. My eyes, of their own accord, flickered to him. I smiled with much warmth and not-yet-proclaimed affection, as I saw the peaceful smile on his face, as he sat with his eyes closed. He seemed to feel my eyes on him though, the smile slowly becoming a grin, as topaz met brown.

I looked away before I could start hyperventilating. It was absolutely ridiculous that I should feel dizzy, when I was more than used to his dazzling effect on my senses.

The hour seemed very long. I couldn't concentrate on the movie – I didn't even know what subject it was on. I tried unsuccessfully to relax, screw the wide grin off my face lest the other students notice, but the electric current that originated from his whole body never slacked, as I was used to.

Occasionally I permitted myself a quick glance in his dazzling eyes, which never left my face, even as I stared in the direction of the TV, and the smile was just as obviously untamed as my own. The overpowering craving to touch him, beyond the hand in mine, also refused to fade, and I bit my lip just hard enough to not draw blood, until my skin was aching with the pressure.

I breathed a sigh, of both relief and disappointment, when Mr. Banner flicked the lights back on at the end of class, and stretched my arms out in front of me, flexing my stiff fingers. Edward chuckled beside me, though he had been hesitant to release my hand from his capture.

"Well, that was interesting," he murmured. His voice was dark and his eyes were cautious.

"Very," I smiled, chuckling slightly under my breath.

"Shall we?" he asked, rising fluidly, of course.

I almost groaned. Time for Gym. I may have gotten better in the many years that had passed, but it still wasn't good enough for me. I stood with care, worried my balance might have been affected by the intensity between us, in the last hour.

He walked me to my next class in silence and paused at the door; I turned to say goodbye. His face startled me – his expression was torn, almost pained and so fiercely beautiful that the ache to touch him flared as strong as before. My goodbye stuck in my throat, as I suddenly remembered this moment.

He raised his hand, hesitant, conflict raging in his eyes, and then swiftly brushed the length of my cheekbone with his fingertips. His skin was a icy as ever, but the trail his fingers left on my skin was alarmingly warm – like I'd been burned, but didn't feel the pain of it yet.

Before he had a chance to move away from me, as I knew he was close to, I used every speed I had in my human body, knowing my silent mind would take him off guard. I put my own hand over his, holding his touch to my cheek, as I caressed his pale skin.

I knew that I was feeling very courageous, and missing the touch of his lips on mine, but also knew that I did not want our 'first' kiss to be in front of the gym doors. I would wait until we were in our meadow, and perhaps make it even more special than it had been the first time around.

Were that even possible.

When he seemed to be warring within himself, I gently removed my hand and allowed him to turn around and walk away.

I walked into the gym, lightheaded with undisguised glee.

I drifted to the locker room, changing in a trance-like state, only vaguely aware that there were other people surrounding me. Reality didn't fully set in until I was handed a racket. It wasn't heavy, yet it felt very unsafe in my hand. I could see a few of the other kids in class eying me furtively. Coach Clapp ordered us to pair up into teams.

Monster came to my rescue, before Mike could reach my side of the room to offer his company. She fitted her fingers around my elbow, steering me away from the hounding boy, giggling with repressed laughter. I rolled my eyes, and let her take the lead.

Damn graceful halfling.

I spent the rest of the hour in the back corner of the court, only participating every once in a while, when it appeared safe to do so. Thanks to her enhanced senses, Ren was not handicapped by my invisible partner status; she won all four games almost singlehandedly. When the coach finally blew the whistle, ending class, she gave me a hug, a grin on her face.

Thanks to her husband and many uncles, she was very competitive.

Unfortunately for me, Coach Clapp decided to pull Monster aside to congratulate her, which Mike took advantage of quickly, as he practically ran to my side. I swallowed my annoyance, knowing how fruitless it would be to try and avoid him, while we attended the same school and some of the same classes.

"So," he said, as he came to stand beside me.

"So what?" I hissed out, but as always he didn't notice my tone.

"You and Cullen, huh?" he asked, his tone rebellious. My previous irritation only tripled.

"That's none of your business, Mike," I warned, internally cursing his tendency to ignore the obvious.

"I don't like it," he muttered anyway.

"You don't have to," I snapped. We were even less friends this time around and still he found a way around the boundaries.

"He looks at you like... like you're something to eat," he continued, ignoring me, of course.

I couldn't help it.

He glowered at my bent over form, as I tried to control my bellowing laughter. His comment was just too perfect, like pure gold. If only he knew how close he was to the truth. I wiped a tear from my eye, as I watched his disappearing form, as he walked to the locker rooms.

Ren came up to me then, without comments as she had surely heard the whole thing from across the room, and helped calm me down from my giddy state, as we walked, arm in arm, into the locker room.

I dressed quickly, something much more powerful than simple butterflies battering recklessly against the walls of my stomach, as they always did when I knew I was about to see my husband again. Those never lessened, even after years of marriage. The joys of being eternal mates, I suppose.

I wondered slightly if he had told his family this time, or if they had heard our conversation in lunch, as they had originally.

I had been a bit too preoccupied with Edward at the time, to peer at their table in the back and see their reactions to our words, which to an outsider, would've have sounded very strange.

I was sure, however, that Emmett had gotten a kick out of my off-the-cuff remark about Edward's late night visits.

When I walked out of the gym, Edward was waiting for me, leaning casually against the side of the building, his breathtaking face untroubled now. As I walked to his side, I felt a sense of release, to finally be in his presence again.

Ren had long since left my side and a small part of me heard her car leaving the lot.

"Hi," I breathed, smiling hugely.

"Hello." His answering smile was brilliant. "How was Gym?"

"Why don't you tell me?" I teased, knowing he had peeked in today, though slightly wondering why, as we hadn't had the same conversation as last time.

Perhaps his curiosity simply couldn't be left unsatisfied any longer.

His eyes tightened. "Newton's getting on my nerves." He said, though a slight upturning of his lips told me that he was amused with my reaction to Mike's comment.

At least it was better than the self-loathing I had been expecting.

We walked in silence to his car. But I had to stop a few steps away – a crowd of people, all boys, were surrounding it. Then I realized, they weren't surrounding the Volvo, but Rosalie's M3, unmistakable lust in their eyes. None of them even looked up as Edward slid between them to open his door. I climbed into the passenger side, also unnoticed.

"What was that about?" I asked, aware of how strange it would seem, if I just let something like this slide.

He sighed, muttering something that sounded like 'ostentatious', under his breath. "Remember what I said about it this morning? This is why we take my car."

"Oh, okay," I replied, not interested in repeating the 'car and driver' conversation.

It took him a few minutes to successfully navigate around the car enthusiasts, carefully maneuvering his way until we were on the free road, at last. The mood in the car seemed to lighten, now that we weren't surrounded by boundaries, due to the milling students.

His smile was easy, as he reached out to grab my hand, as we made our way to my house. "So, it's almost Saturday," he said, trying to sound relaxed and failing entirely.

I laughed. "Yes, it is. Are we eager?" I asked, smiling at him like the giddy school girl I suddenly was again.

Not that I'd ever been _giddy_.

He simply continued to smile, squeezing my hand as a response. I let the topic fall, too happy to ruin the mood as I was sure to do, by accidentally bringing the masochistic Edward back into the conversation.

I looked up when he parked in front of the house, behind my new truck. Now that I was back to being human, it was easier to ride with him if I only looked when it was over. When I looked back at him, he was staring at me, yet another look of wonder in his eyes.

"Tell me something," I smiled at him to continue. "Why did you trade in your car? Not that I can blame you, but you seemed to like the old Chevy?"

"Well, I did love it and the nice gesture from my dad. But it was just so _slow_." I exclaimed, staring at him with wide eyes.

For the first time since being back here, I heard a genuine laugh from my husband. Not a chuckle or a grin or even a sarcastic, self-loathing snort. But an actual, full of joy, laugh.

It was invigorating.

When he finally quieted down, that look was back on his face, like he was afraid that any sudden movement from him would scare me off. Of course, a part of him still wanted that to happen, for my own sake, but it seemed that now, that part was eclipsed by the need to keep me around.

Good.

I let him stare at me, as I glanced out through the windshield, at the thick, rolling clouds that seemed to press down, almost within reach. A cool shiver ran down my spine, as he touched my cheek, bringing my full attention back on him.

Our eyes held, and the silence deepened – and changed.

Flickers of the electricity I'd once been so used to began to charge the atmosphere as he gazed unrelentingly into my eyes. It wasn't until my head started to swim that I realized I wasn't breathing. Again. When I drew in a jagged breath, breaking the stillness, he closed his eyes.

"Bella, I think you should go inside now." His low voice was rough, his eyes on the clouds.

I smiled, to show that I was okay with his behavior. I just had to keep reminding myself that this Edward didn't have experience with my scent, or the fact that he was in love with a human, fragile girl. Baby steps, he would get there.

I opened the door, and the arctic draft that burst into the car helped my emotional state, washing away the unshed tears. I stepped carefully out of the car and shut the door behind me without looking back. The whir of the automatic window unrolling made me turn.

"Oh, Bella?" he called after me, his voice more even. He leaned toward the open window with a faint smile on his lips.

"Yes?"

"Tomorrow it's my turn."

"Your turn to what?"

He smiled wider, flashing his gleaming teeth. "Ask the questions."

And then he was gone, the car speeding down the street and disappearing around the corner before I could even wave goodbye. I smiled as I walked to the house. It was clear that, despite the war still being battled inside of him, he was still planning on keeping himself close to me.

* * *

 **Forks, Washington  
March 11th, 2005**

* * *

When I woke I was still tired, after a restless sleep filled with dreams of the stranger. I pulled on my new skinny jeans and a blue blouse, that I had bought in Seattle with the girls. It seemed like a lifetime ago, after everything that had happened in the last few days.

Breakfast was turning out to be quite the enjoyable affair. Monster joined me and dad, though she hadn't officially moved in yet, and the conversation was far from the stilted ones I used to share with him, when it was just the two of us, the last time around.

"So, when am I finally meeting Edmund?" Dad asked, a glint in his eye as he purposely spoke the wrong name.

I mock-glared at him, while Ren giggled under her breath. " _Edward_ will be picking me up on Saturday. I told him he could introduce himself then. Okay?" I said, lifting an eyebrow, daring him to continue teasing me.

The butterflies were still going crazy.

He just shook his head, a smile playing on his lips, as he allowed his granddaughter to change the subject. Apparently the two of them were planning a bonding fishing trip this weekend, while I was spending time with Edward on Saturday and meeting his family on Sunday.

I was happy to see how great the two were getting along, already.

"And you're not going to the dance, right?" Dad suddenly turned to me, humor still sparkling in his brown eyes.

I rolled my eyes. "Dad! Would you knock it off. You know I don't dance, and besides... ugh... do you really want me to go into details?" I asked, a smug grin on my face when he winced.

"Yeah, I guess I get the no dancing thing," he said, trying to save face.

No such luck, buddy.

"Sure, sure," I said, unconsciously channeling my inner Jake.

The phone rang then, and I left the two to their new conversation about Ren's new room, while I answered it.

"Hello," I spoke, distracted by the laughter of my family.

"Hi, Bella, it's Leah," I suddenly remembered the change I had made with her.

How could I forget?

"Oh, hi Leah, it's good to talk to you again. How are you?" I said, a bit too peppy, which she of course picked up on immediately.

"I'm good, but Bella... I heard about what happened in Port Angeles. I just wanted to hear if _you_ were okay," she asked, though her tone told me she knew that I wasn't.

I sighed. "Look, I gotta get to school, but how about I come out tonight? We can talk then," I said, truly wanting to see her again, still amazed that I could've forgotten this little development.

"Sure, Bella, I'd like that. Come by before dinner, and bring Charlie if he doesn't have any plans," I could hear the smile in her voice and realized that she must've been doubting our new found friendship.

I knew that was my fault, for not talking to her since that night. Admittedly, I'd had a lot on my mind, with telling dad the truth, dealing with my infuriating husband and the incident in Port Angeles, but it still didn't justify forgetting Leah. I would do my best to make it up to her later tonight.

We said our goodbyes, and just before dad could leave for work, I asked if he wanted to join me at the Clearwaters tonight. He declined, with a pointed look in Monster's direction and I understood. They were having a grandfather-granddaughter night.

Dad left then, with a goodbye wave, and I went upstairs to brush my teeth and gather my books. When I heard the cruiser pull away, along with the Ferrari, I could only wait a few seconds before I had to peek out of my window. The Volvo was already there, waiting in dad's spot on the driveway. I bounded down the stairs and out the front door, joyful in the knowledge that, not counting sunny days, this was our new routine.

He waited in the car, not appearing to watch as I shut the door behind me without bothering to lock the dead-bolt. I

walked to the car, opening the door and stepping in. He was smiling, relaxed – and, as usual, perfect and beautiful to an excruciating degree.

"Good morning." His voice was silky. "How are you today?" His eyes roamed over my face, as if his question was something more than simple courtesy.

"Good, thank you." I was teasing him, mirroring his polite hello, though it was still true. I was always much more than good, when I was near him.

His gaze lingered on the circles under my eyes. "You look tired?"

"I had a restless sleep," I said, lifting one eyebrow, silently asking why he wasn't in my room last night.

He smiled, but answered. "I had a family discussion. Apparently, I forgot to tell my siblings about your knowledge and they, of course, overheard us in the cafeteria yesterday." His smile never fell, so I knew that things were okay.

But I still couldn't suppress the shiver, at the memory of Jasper's confession. He told me about his cemented plans, the night of the van accident. How he had clearly planned my death and Edward had chosen to fight him, to protect me. It was a scary thought, as my much clearer Vampiric memories were of a kind and loving brother, who might as well have been blood.

No pun intended.

"I suppose that's understandable. And they're really okay with it?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

He grimaced, as I had expected. "I wouldn't say... okay, but they're dealing." And then the smile was back.

I'd almost forgotten about his violent mood swings. Almost.

"Now, I believe it was my turn, today," he grinned, before reaching out to grab my hand as we left the driveway.

"Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?" I smiled, leaning against the seat so I could have a better view of him.

"What's your favorite color?" he asked, his face grave.

I rolled my eyes. "It changes from day to day."

"What's your favorite color today?" He was still solemn.

"Probably green," I said, looking out at the forest around us, while also thinking about the fact that Carlisle had let slide, so many years ago. I would have loved to see that color in Edward's eyes.

He snorted, dropping his serious expression. "Green?" he asked skeptically.

I knew why, of course. It was literally everywhere, so it sounded as if I had simply looked outside when I answered, not giving the ridiculous question any serious thought.

"Sure. Green is vibrant, electric. It can be so many different things. A forest, a leaf, even a pair of strikingly emerald eyes," I responded, trying not to sound too obvious.

He seemed fascinated by my little rant. He considered for a moment, staring out into the burgeoning woods.

"You're right," he decided, serious again, fingers clenched tightly around the wheel. "Green is... vibrant," he sounded unsure, even as he said it, but I chose not to call him on it.

We were at the school by now. He turned back to me as he pulled into a parking space.

"What music is in your CD player right now?" he asked, his face as somber as if he'd asked for a murder confession.

I remembered that I'd never removed the CD from Phil. When I said the name of the band, he smiled crookedly, a peculiar expression in his eyes. He flipped open a compartment under his car's CD player, pulled out one of thirty or so CDs that were jammed into the small space, and handed it to me, "Debussy to this?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I could ask you the same, y'know," I teased back, as I pretended to look at the CD in my hand.

It continued like that for the rest of the day. While he walked me to English, when he met me after Spanish, all through the lunch hour, he questioned me relentlessly about every insignificant detail of my existence. Movies I'd liked and hated, the few places I'd been and the many places I wanted to go, and books – endlessly books.

I smiled through it all, the last time I had smiled this much, was when I was still back in my time, with my husband. The absolute absorption on his face, his never-ending stream of questions, hadn't lessened even after more than seventy years. Most of the questions were easy, a bit dull even, but I knew he wanted to know everything there was to know about me, so I indulged him.

When he asked me about my favorite gemstone, I peered into his warm, ocher eyes and replied, making him smile brilliantly, before he continued flinging questions at me left and right.

Biology was just the same as the day before. Edward had continued with his quizzing up until Mr. Banner entered the room, dragging the audiovisual frame again. As the teacher approached the light switch, I noticed Edward slide his chair slightly farther away from mine. Obviously he was having a few thirst issues again and I could respect that.

Though not enough to not grab his hand, when the lights went out.

As soon as the room was dark, the electric spark returned in full force, like a restless craving in the area just below my belly. I told myself to be satisfied with holding his hand, forcing my body to keep from jumping across the table and dry humping him in front of the entire class.

What? It's been a while.

I leaned forward on the table, resting my chin on my one free arm, my hidden fingers gripping the table's edge as I fought to ignore the longing that would surely get me in deep trouble. I didn't look at him, afraid that if he was looking at me, he would see exactly what was in my mind at the moment.

I sincerely tried to watch the movie, but at the end of the hour I had no idea what I'd just seen. I sighed when Mr. Banner turned the light back on, though I wasn't sure if it was out of relief or irritation, yet again. I glanced at Edward now; he was looking at me, his eyes playful, yet guarded.

He rose in silence and then stood still, waiting for me. We walked toward the gym in silence, like yesterday. And, also like yesterday, he touched my face wordlessly – this time with the back of his cool hand, stroking once from my temple to my jaw – as I held it to my skin, staring into his endless topaz eyes, before he turned and walked away.

Gym passed quickly as I watched Ren's one-woman badminton show. Mike was ignoring me and I tried to hide my smile at that. He had no idea how happy his invisible actions made me.

I hurried to change afterward, ill at ease, knowing the faster I moved, the sooner I would be with Edward. Eventually I made it out the door, feeling that same release when I saw him standing there, a wide smile automatically spreading across my face. He smiled in reaction before launching into more cross-examination.

His questions were different now, though, not as easily answered. He wanted to know what I missed about home, insisting on descriptions of everything I could hardly remember anymore. I did my best, and thanks to the fact that he has never been anywhere but the rainy towns, he didn't question my somewhat limited knowledge.

We sat in front of the house for hours, as the sky darkened and rain plummeted around us in a sudden deluge.

I tried to describe impossible things like the scent of creosote – bitter, slightly resinous, but still pleasant – the high, keening sound of cicadas in July, the feathery barrenness of the trees, the very size of the sky, extending white-blue from horizon to horizon, barely interrupted by the low mountains covered with purple volcanic rock.

The hardest thing to explain was why it was so beautiful to me – to justify a beauty that didn't depend on the sparse, spiny vegetation that often looked half dead, a beauty that had more to do with the exposed shape of the land, with the shallow bowls of valleys between the craggy hills, and the way they held on to the sun. I found myself using my hands as I tried to describe it to him.

His quiet, probing questions kept me talking freely, forgetting, in the dim light of the storm, to be annoyed at the repetition. Finally, when I had finished detailing my cluttered room at home, he paused instead of responding with another question.

"Are you finished?" I asked, knowing that when it came to me, he'd never have all of his questions answered, before he came up with more.

"Not even close – but your father will be home soon."

"Right," I said, internally freaking when I remembered that I was supposed to be in La Push tonight.

I looked out at the rain-darkened sky. "How late is it?" I wondered out loud as I glanced at the clock.

"It's twilight," Edward murmured, looking at the western horizon, obscured as it was with clouds. His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind was somewhere far away. I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out the windshield.

I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine. "It's the safest time of day for us," he said, answering what I was sure he felt was the question in my eyes. "The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way... the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" He smiled wistfully.

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." I frowned. "Not that you see them here much."

He laughed, and the mood abruptly lightened.

"Your father will be here in a few minutes. If you want to wait until Saturday to introduce me..." He raised one eyebrow.

"I do," I smiled, gathering my books, realizing I was stiff from sitting still so long. "So is it my turn tomorrow, then?"

"Certainly not!" His face was teasingly outraged. "I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?"

"What more is there?"

"You'll find out tomorrow." He reached across to open my door for me, and his sudden proximity send shivers down my spine. I really hoped I could convince him to earlier this time, to take me to bed.

I was dying here.

His hand froze on the handle. "Not good," he muttered.

"What is it?" I was surprised, at both the disturbed look in his eyes and the fact that I didn't remember whatever was coming next.

He glanced at me for a brief second. "A complication," he said glumly.

He flung the door open in one swift movement, and then moved, almost cringed, swiftly away from me. The flash of headlights through the rain caught my attention as a dark car pulled up to the curb just a few feet away, facing us.

"Your dad's around the corner," he warned, staring through the downpour at the other vehicle.

I hopped out at once, now perfectly aware of what was going on. The rain was louder as it glanced off my jacket. I made out the shapes of Billy and Jake in the front seat of their car, obviously waiting for Edward to leave, before they came out.

I could see my husband illuminated in the glare of the Black car's headlights; he was still staring ahead, his gaze locked on something or someone I couldn't see. His expression was a strange mix of frustration and defiance. Then he revved the engine, and the tires squealed against the wet pavement. The Volvo was out of sight in seconds.

"Hey, Bella," called a more than familiar, husky voice from the driver's side of the little black car.

"Hi, Jacob," I threw back, as my dad's cruiser swung around the corner, his lights shining on the car in front of me.

Jake was already climbing out, his wide grin visible even through the darkness. In the passenger seat was the much younger version of the man I had watched die in a hospital bed, many years ago. His face brought a surge of tears to my eyes, remembering the kind man who had come to mean so much to me, and even more to my daughter.

Billy was staring at me, scrutinizing my face, so I smiled back, knowing what he was thinking. His eyes were wide, in either shock or fear, or both, his nostrils flared. My smile widened, I was feeling in a teasing mood and he was getting on my nerves. I hadn't forgotten about the way he manipulated Jake into disrupting my Prom.

"Billy," my dad grumbled, as he joined me by their car. He still wasn't too happy about the secrets his supposed best friend had kept from him, for so many years, both now and in my time.

The man in question looked surprised at my father's tone, and held out a hand for Jake, who was getting the wheelchair out for him, stopping his motions. I guess he sensed that maybe he wasn't as welcome here, as he had expected to be.

"Sorry, but you should've called. I've got plans out of the house." Dad said, in no uncertain terms, his eyes a little colder than I liked.

And then I realized that it wasn't Billy he was glaring at, but his son. I choked back a laugh, when I finally figured it out.

Dad was pissed at Jake, because in the future he was married to his granddaughter and was meant to do so again, sometime in _this_ future, as well.

Silly old man.

"Well, this is nice and all," I said, looking awkwardly at the trio. An angry Charlie and two confused Blacks. "But I have to be at the Clearwaters for dinner, so I should go." I was sure none of them were listening to me.

I quickly ran into the house to deposit my school bag and grab my car keys. I ignored the image of Monster, who was battling two emotions. She couldn't seem to decide if she should be mad at her grandfather, for how he was treating her wolf, or proud that he was standing up for her, and for himself.

I didn't wait around to see what feeling she chose to land on, as I rushed out to my truck and left the three of them, still standing there.

Edward was certainly right, this was quite the complication.

Just not the way he had meant it.


End file.
